Why can't I just get over it and move on? (page 5)

Dansk

Hi ((((((((((Crumpet))))))))))),

I haven't read the other replies - yet! - as I'm busy this morning (I'll read them later) but :

why can't I get over it? Why am I still jealous? Why do I even care anymore? And what do I do to get him out of my head so that I can move on?

fact is, you still love the guy! Being in a relationship for as long as you have cannot just be turned off like a tap. You still have feelings - strong feelings! - and sometimes, when we're apart, we realise just how much we care(d).

Time is a great healer - but be prepared to continually have pangs of hurt. It is never easy and until you find Mr. Right you'll always have those feelings........

Love,

Ian

Crumpet

Time is a great healer - but be prepared to continually have pangs of hurt. It is never easy and until you find Mr. Right you'll always have those feelings........
Love,

Thanks Ian - time is considered the best remedy over all so far. I think that I can cope though just being by myself for a while - although I may embrace a few Miss Rights and Mr Rights along the way.

Axeman

Embrace the pain Crumpet as evidence of your capacity to love and love deeply You will grieve your heart will heal and you will love again

Thinking of Leaving

Hi Crumpet, sorry to hear about your hurt. From my experience it's the best thing to not communicate with that person, atleast until the healing process has ended. When you no longer have feelings for him or your loins are not acting up around him as you said lol, then I would try my best and stay away. Time does heal all wounds, but in order to help yourself, you need to move on.

yaddayadda

Forget about the last one, get yourself another. Being alone is not the answer.

Shawn10538

Get back out there and try and love again. In the words of Jonathan Richman, "When you love again, miracles will start to happen." And if you think you can't love then have a fling in the meantime.

Brother Apostate

Time heals all wounds.

Don't rush it.

You will deal with it better if you let it take it's own time.

That would be different for each person.

Typically, it takes at least two years, sometimes much longer, to completely "get over it".

Try to analyze and learn from what went wrong.

Sometimes, people just become different with time, leaving you with little or nothing in common.

BA

PS- Don't let it hold you back from the next one.

Sirona

Hi Crumpet,

Sorry things have been tough for you. It sounds like you're doing exactly the right thing by starting your degree and getting out there and meeting new people!

I think Ian mentioned, you sound as though you still love your ex. This is the real issue, because I've been in both situations where I've split and still loved my ex, and also where I've split and not loved him. The last marriage I had, when we split, I knew there and then (and for some time before) that the love had long gone, and that made it 100% easier to move on and get on with my life. I wasn't jealous of his new woman, I didn't want to know what she looked like or who she was (although I was told so that if I happened upon them in public there wouldn't be hard feelings).

Just today I got my official decree absolute (divorce) and I felt so emotionless about it, save the feeling of the end of an era and the new freedom of being away from that legal tie. The house is now mine, I have my wonderful man (who is the most amazing person I've ever known and who I love more than anyone I've ever known).

I guess what I'm saying is that as the love for him cools, you'll be fine. I'm glad you are open minded enough to date women too, I was, and there is something to be said for woman-woman relationships if that is what you want for your future.

Take care,

Sirona

Why can't I just get over it and move on?

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