Would you date someone with a history of INCEST? (page 5)

bikerchic

((((((((((Chris)))))))))

Excellent reply as always B T.

MsMcDucket

Ask him to invite his cousin over for dinner with the two of you. It would be interesting to see his reaction.

mouthy

Welcome back sweetie ...Now as Granny I will say what I think DUMP HIM!!!! Yes I believe in forgiveness from our past mistakes ..but to keep on seeing the mistake is in my opinion not good....

Should I just get rid of this relationship and move on? So in answer to the question MOVE ON!!!

Chris (BT)... I definitely apologize if anything I said sounded offensive to you... but I most certainly did NOT mean a victim of incest or molestation. My boyfriend and his cousin, from how he tells it, were willing adult participants. I do not mean "would you date a VICTIM of incest?" because that is most certainly not one's fault. I apologize if it sounded that way, but my boyfriend and his cousin, both adults, just decided to have sex. From what I can tell, there wasn't a victim or perpetrator. He claims he was manipulated into it, but I have my doubts about that.

lighthouse19something

I'm not condoning incest, but were both parties adults? Some states allow 1st cousin marriages without restrictions, a few require that one them has had sterilization. If you're looking from a biblical view, I think don't cousins were mentioned in sex laws.

The 2 main reasons for incest taboos were:

1) Increased risk of genetic problems

2) Protection of the under-aged from people using their position to take advantage of younger, helpless family members.

kristyann

MeneMene, no, he is not a JW or an ex-JW. I never even thought about the thing with the possibility that her kids could be his! I kind of doubt it, but the thought never even crossed my mind before. It definitely freaks me out to think of that.

FlyingHighNow

If the guy was a child or teenager when the affair happened, then it would make matters different. However, this man was no child. He was an adult. He should have consulted his attorney or a clergyman or someone for advice. He could have figured out a way to expose her stated intention of lying about rape, rather than giving in to it. I don't buy his line about being coerced. He was old enough to figure out a way to deal with this other than giving in. I don't believe he would have slept with her if he truly didn't want to.

My exhusband's double first cousins had an affair as teenagers. It was well known in the family. They were kids though, not fully grown adults.

It should be noted that incest exists in all places and knows no socio-economic boundaries. Rich, well educated families have to deal with incest just as poor families do.

kristyann

mouthy, I know what you mean... forgiving is not the problem I have, but it seems suspicious to me that he keeps seeing her and talking with her if he really never wanted to have anything to do with her. Very weird. I'm sorry that I'm not replying to each post individually... but keep them coming, if you want. I am reading them all and I appreciate everything that all of you have to say. I value all of your opinions and this is helping me a lot.

Big Tex

kristyann

No it's cool. Honestly I am not offended, nor am I hurt. I did, however, feel the need to make a statement for victims of incest. Actually I have heard reports that first cousin sex (incest?) occurs quite a bit more often than parental incest. I don't know. Maybe it's hormones. Maybe not.

I do think, with all due respect, that your relationship with this fellow is dependent moreso on other issues besides whatever happened between he and his cousin. But that's for you to decide. And whatever happens, I wish only the best for you.

(((Kate)))

Big manly chuck on the shoulder to Craig.

Chris

reneeisorym

Look. My ex-husband slept with his sister. I didn't find this out until after we were married for 4 years. There was a lot more in my ex's closet than that too. I would bet that he has a LOT more going on in there than he's telling you. He sounds like a control freak and I think the reason you are having insecurity problems could be because of him. I wouldn't wish the relationship I had with my ex on my worst enemy. I wish I could get you away from him NOW! ... Think of this. If he threatens you or makes it a big deal that you two break up, you can black mail him with this information (not that I believe the blackmail story to begin with.) Please get away before you are married or worse: have kids.

I have to say that I think he's lying. I doubt she blackmailed him into it or anything like that. He's lying because he's ashamed.

AMEN!

As to whether you should continue with him - well if you are early 20's and he's 10 years older than you........I think you would do better with someone closer to your age. Maybe someone who doesn't even have an Aunt or Uncle with children?

And ignore that one. My ex was 9 months older than me and he was an @$$. My fiance is 10 years older than me and he's absolutely wonderful and the best thing that's happened to me. Its not the age that's the problem here. Its the 20 other warning signs I see here.

Would you date someone with a history of INCEST?

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