Why does it take so long for lurkers to join ?

by moomanchu 15 Replies latest jw experiences

  • free2beme
    free2beme

    I thought about this when I was in LA this last week. A town that large, millions, with no doubt a few thousand former Witnesses. Now times that by all the major cities in the world, and you would have several thousand former Witnesses. Then you must assume that many of those people are on the web. So where are they all at, because this site is one of the most well used former Witness websites on the web and it maybe has a couple hundred active participants. Why?

  • lilparrottx
    lilparrottx

    I've been an ex-JW for 18 years now, and the long slow process of healing and dealing with the seperation from my family has all been very, deeply personal. I rarely met or spoke to any other ex-JDubs, and people who had never studied or lived it had no idea what I was thinking or feeling. So I have become comfortable in my isolation. I only recently stumbled upon this website, quite by accident. This is my second post, but I have been primarily reading, and soaking it all in. I had NO IDEA that there was so much info out there about WTS sex scandles, UN involvement, etc. Some of it is quite astonishing to me. Slowly but surely, I am building up my anger and disappointment.

    But in most discussions, I dont really feel qualified to give an opinion. And telling my personal stories and experiences feels quite invasive, intrusive. I thought most of these scars had healed.

    Nate

  • avidbiblereader
    avidbiblereader

    I was never a lurker, joined right away, but I agree fear is the number one reason, and as the scripture states fear of men is a snare, just think of all those who are fearful of more than joining the forum, it really is a trap.

  • Tez
    Tez

    It didn't take me long once my son told me about this site, but I don't visit that often now, partly because of not having as much time as I did originally but also there is still a fear.... not so much of what I have and am still learning, but its a fear of ever letting anything get the same hold on me ever again. As ex JW's we receive a lot of information on this site, but also a diversity of opinions too, having been easily conned in the past I think I am vulnerable to suggestions, I suppose I consider myself a weak person in this regard so its easier to put the blinkers on and just get on with the life I am living now. I am so much happier now than I have ever been, the shackles have been lifted, I cannot deny that I miss some sort of spirituality in my life but once bitten twice shy as they say!!! I don't feel I have the strength, mental, emotional or physical, anymore to make any major decisions in this regard, but I do still visit this site because it helps me enormously and for that I am grateful to all who post on here.

  • zagor
    zagor

    You know that expression 'lurkers' really pisses me off (forgive my French) it is being used way too freely on this board. Before joing this board I just read posts for a year or so. Before that I've spent some 6 years of licking my wounds inflicted by wtbs (and that's just from my last meeting ever, not including other crup you know nothing about), then going through schooling system and doing other thing too heal. Do you honstly think I was a lurker by just reading posts??? Or that I was in FEAR?? From whom??
    I for one, carefully measure my steps in life and don't rush through door just because it is open.

  • Pioneer Spit...oh, i mean Spirit
    Pioneer Spit...oh, i mean Spirit

    I don't think lurking is a negative term, afterall, it's not like we're all naked in here and people are just peeping at us until they post. I lurked a couple of months. I blame my mother. Oh and the WTS. (they're working together.) I worked on my first intro/post for a few days before I submitted it. I was a healing moment in so many ways and the understanding and acceptance by other members was instantaneous and plentiful and no one gave me a W or an I.

    So, lurk on.

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