I know I am very late replying to this thread but would like to give a take on this that I didn't see addressed. .
As far as Stilla there are a few things to consider:
Many people complained she did not want honesty but was looking for a way to deceive her parents. As the daughter of an elder, and 2 brothers who were never babtized, the pressure is intense. The males in our house were free to anounce that they would no longer be attending meetings and that was accepted. Myself as the babtized daughter did not have this option.
When one of my brothers finally announced this and was subsequently caught smoking by some JW, my mother proceeded to have a nervous breakdown. It was so bad, I had to call my father from work....an hours drive from down town without traffic. We did not know what to do as kids. She laid up in her bedroom ranting.
So as a daughter watching this, calling my Father, etc., I knew I could not put my parents through this pain again. I had to figure out how to do my fade little by little..Lie by Lie.
I was the great white hope after my 2 younger brothers anounced their freedom. It left me with a terrible load to carry, not one that I wanted, but one I felt as the beloved daughter had to carry, and maintain.
Now all of you know as witnesses... you eventually understand it is a belief system based on denial and lies. As members you ignored those lies, continued to serve, and fianlly got out, because you could no longer tolerate it. But you did it on your own terms.
How in the world is this denial any different than what Stilla is asking for help with? She is trying to avoid causing pain to her parents, herself, and her brother. She is buying time. She is buying breathing room.
Do I recommend she continue? No, because you can carry this on for years, and then children come along, and you buy for them, and then for yourself again, ...and in the end you have wasted lives.
Do I understand why she is asking for help and what for? ......With all my heart I understand.
Stlla can set me straight if I am wrong, but I wish her the best.
r.