Snappy Answers..... To Annoy Witnesses With

metatron

When confronted with a Witness who asserts that "Armageddon is Soon!:

"Really? I think the Society is just bullsh*tting everyone! Tell you what, I'll bet you $10,000 that Armageddon doesn't come in five years!

Why, I'll even sign my name to such an agreement on paper!"

When you encounter a Witness who claims the organization is "loving":

"Jehovah's Witnesses are "loving" the way in the same way that Islam is "peaceful"!

( sigh! and here's where my blatant appeal to prejudice causes this post to drift off topic. Oh. well.......)

When you find a Witness who asserts that he has the "truth":

"If you don't have love, you don't have the "truth"!

(see Islam comment [cringe] above or add your own local observations)

Feel free to add your own snappy comebacks.....

metatron

Abandoned

Asinine statement: "Armageddon is coming SOON!"

Intelligent reply: "Err, is that the 1914 version of soon, or the 1975 one?

garybuss

An elder called and told me the end was soon. I asked him if he had any proof this time and then I laughed. He hung up on me. How rude!

SWALKER

GB...LOL!!! I'll have to remember to ask them if they have any "proof" next time I hear that comment!

Swalker

jgnat

Logs and slivers (Matthew 7:24)

Could you speak up? I couldn't hear your message through your screaming hypocrisy.

I suppose you'll be dusting your sandals now. (Luke 10:11)

(Delivered in robot-voice) "Jehovah's people are the happiest people on earth." (Repeat for emphasis, then laugh hilariously)

JW: I've got the truth. *or* I'll never leave the truth.

ME: Truth is something you can put in a box? I thought truth could stand on it's own.

(After a JW declares that something is pagan) Pagan is as pagan does.

LtCmd.Lore

JW: "Are you aware that we are living in the last days?"

Me: "What kind of days, 1000 year days, 7000 year days, or 'a day for a year'... Unless you mean to tell me that we only have a few weeks left."

_______

JW: "... and there will be earthquakes in one place after another..."

Me: "And of course there weren't earthquakes, wars or famine at any other time history."

______

JW: "Don't you think the world would be a better place if more people obeyed bible principles?"

Me: "You mean like the concubine principle, the 'eye for an eye' principle, or the 'punish the children for the parents mistake' principle? No... honestly I'm glad people generaly ignore bible principles."

______

JW: "Have you ever wondered why god would allow suffering?"

Me: "No. I'm an atheist, so you can skip all the universal soverenty stuff."

LtCmd.Lore

BrentR

I asked one a few days a go what is thier latest version of a "generation" . That is kinda a sore spot for them still from all appearences.

PrimateDave

JW: Those apostates on the internet will turn you away from the "truth".
Me: Which "truth"? What the Watchtower taught in 1900? 1925? 1975? 1995? 2005?

Dave

MsMcDucket

I'm sure that they will say something like the GB keeps getting "New Light" on Armageddon. To this I'll say that the new light must be psychedelic because they keep getting it wrong. Then to this they'll say but they're imperfect men. Then I'll say but God is "perfect" right? So why can't they get his directions right? The things that they tell you guys to do are not ordained by God. It's ordained by them. You are following man just like any other religion. You may not fight in wars, but your false doctrines cause the death of many; so you're just as blood guily as any other religion.

And you say that you have love for the "whole association of brothers", but if anyone of your brothers or sisters dares to disagree with these imperfect men (GB), you shun them and call them apostates. That's not loving that's evil.

POs Son

Where does the bible say "abstain from blood fractions containing red blood cells only?"

Snappy Answers..... To Annoy Witnesses With

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