Just wanted to write about my experience in coming out to my parents in the last two weeks.
It's a long story, but my sister and I are both gay, but we haven't come out to our parents until now. My sister and I have been debating with each other the best way to come out to them because we've known that it would be a serious blow to them. Our parents are catholic and pretty conservative people. The bottom line is that my sister's girlfriend has been getting a little impatient with my sister's secrecy, so my sister called my mom two weeks ago and came out to her on the phone (my sister lives several states away). Well, this was a surprise to me because I thought things would be better planned than that, and I don't think that doing so over the phone was the best way to do it.
Anyhow, I came up in the conversation and my mom asked my sister if I'm gay too. My sister said that she would have to talk to me about it, which my mom took immediately as "yes."
Well, this caused a bit of a stir, since I was out of town on business. My mom called me and invited me to dinner. I agreed.
I had dinner with my parents and afterwords they sat me down in the living room and said "we need to talk." I said yes we do, and they said my sister had come out to them and they wondered about me. I told them that I am gay too and that I'm happier than I've ever been because I've finally come to terms with myself and have found a great boyfriend that I adore and we have such a great time together.
Well, my parents were very upset, and my dad even said "what the f--k did we do wrong?" They were both crying. I felt so bad for them, because two of their three kids are gay. Their biggest wish is to have grandkids in the area, and that's kinda crushed. My mom started going off on how it's unnatural to be gay and gay sex is disgusting, etc. I stopped her and said that I understand how most people are repulsed by it, but they're entitled to their opinion. They continued to cry and bring up things like aids, and my mom was so disgusted to hear that I've been to gay bars. I had to explain to her that her view is very distorted by both the media and the conservative world she lives in and that gay bars are very much like regular bars. She asked me about my boyfriend, but didn't want too much detail.
Well, after about an hour of arguing, explaining, and just talking, they told me that they've made an appointment to talk to a priest about this. I told them that I'd be willing to go with them to help them through this. They are fully aware that I'm an atheist, and I told them that they shouldn't expect any conversion or anything, that I would be going to talk it through with them.
Well, this past sunday morning I went with my parents to talk to the priest and it went surprisingly well. I have a lot of respect for the catholic chuch and that priest increased that respect. He didn't once tell me that I was wrong or that I need to stop what I'm doing. The entire jist of what he told my parents was that they will need to deal with this and that keeping it a secret wouldn't help anyone. He stressed the importance of family and acceptance and he flat out said that my parents will need to expect to have a non-traditional family. I was a little shocked. He acknowledged that the church does not support gay marriage, but the church says that marriage fulfills two functions - procreation and companionship. He said that gay relationships are about companionship and not just sex and that even though the church doesn't condone it, homosexual relationships are legitimately about love. The four of us spoke for about an hour and the priest pledged to get my parents the names of some parent support groups in the area. I left feeling pretty good about the meeting and I think it helped my parents as well. It'll take some time for them to start to accept what my sister and I are, but I think we're on the right track.
Well, just wanted to get that off my chest.