by Blueblades 19 Replies latest jw friends
How important is it for you to be certain about something before you act on it? Example: Certain about the Watchtower having the Truth. Then certain that they don't have the Truth. In both cases, how long did it take you to act on it?
Me, served over thirty years, then acted on being certain that they were not God's representative and did the fade 2002, out four years now. It was 2001 that the realization hit me. So, it took about one year for me to act on it. How about you?
Blueblades
Im pretty impulsive myself. I was 99.995 percent certain it wasnt the truth after my first day here. I told my wife within the week. It took 6 months for me to leave.
When I left, I still thought it might be the truth, just knew I couldn't do it anymore, didn't work for me on any level at all. I just walked away from it. At first it was hard, I felt it was a loss, I greived over losing my faith. But I knew I couldn't go back. It was uncomforatable at first, but It gradually got better and better. Don't have any answers, I've come to believe sometimes you have to accept that there are no pat answers to everything. It's been over 6 years and I've never been happier. I feel I've grown as a person, more emphathetic to others, more sure of what I want in life. Living without the constant guilt of never doing enough is wonderful!
Rather impulsive here as well but i trust my instincts. That's how i was able to question and leave the org. I didn't seek out other xdubs or a knowledge base such as this. I just "knew" it wasn't right. And I remember when that watermark happened, I left not long after and didn't look back.
I don't think I've ever really been "certain" about anything since other than the fact I will deal with it as it happens.
I started to get the feeling that something was wrong around the time that I realized the po and some other elders in the hall I attended, were engaged in some pretty shady business practices, and making a LOT of money. I brought the subject up to one of them and they announced my df'ing (no committee hearing) after the watchliar study the next day. I appealed, it was overturned, they tried again 2 weeks later and failed. The third go 'round was it for me. I told them all to take a flying f**k of a short pier and never looked back. That was 1981.
I was looking for one of those JW dating web sites Stumbled across Freeminds - couple of hours later I'm out. Told my family I was no longer a JW and ordered CoC. Suddenly all the questions, doubts and disappointments that weren't reconciled when I was a witness made sense.
Known something was rotten in the state of Denmark for most of my life... yet ONE HUNDRED PERCENT sure it was the truth... that is, until seven months ago, I suddenly knew ONE HUNDRED PERCENT it wasn't the truth. Unfortunatly, never trusted my instincts, still very impulsive though... acted immediately, within an instance... have been looking back too much ever since...
Will never be really be "certain" about anything ever again.
"Don't try this as home..."
Knew that HS wasn't appointing men in the Org long ago, when a kid. Bad apples abounded, even in the sixties. Then when I was back in the fold after 11 years inactive I saw evidence again that it was not spirit directed when I was appointed and dealt with men who were frustrated little men with unhappy wives and never practiced anything they preached. When the PO said to me, "Even if this isn't the Truth, its the best way to live and I'd do it anyway." The same Elder told me he hated the ministry, he liked giving talks from the platform. Whoa! I always thought it was the ministry that was the main thrust of our whole lives. At the District Convention they lied from the platform about my being a faithful servent for twenty odd years as they introduced my talk, (despite my telling them not to lie to the audience, I had been inactive more than half of the time and hardly faithful all the while), I was livid. That did it for me, it was downhill all the way, deleted self as elder and then did the big fade. Don't exist now.
Oh, what peace.
W.Once
I felt I was 100% certain it was the 'Truth' for a very long time. Of course the brainwashing started when I was only 5, so I was likely to see it that way. Many things seemed right to me for a long time. Part of that too was the isolationism not allowing me to see the real world outside the watchtower fishbowl, or the real world inside either.
I started to question a few things in the early 80's when a bunch of self righteous asses elders made sure I was not re-appointed to the servant body when I moved to another area, in spite of begging me to stay in thier congregation due to needing my services as one. But I got over it - returned to the flock after a few years of 'inactive' status, and once again was 'serving' the brothers. But the cracks had appeared, and I too began to see that elders were clearly not appointed by Holy Spirit.
The 90's brought the start of real doubts - but like many I focused on the local congregation and just knew it was not the organization in total that was so screwed up. Then another wheel fell off the wagon for me when the change in the '1914 Generation' did not even seem to bother the brothers and sisters. I began to recognise what zombies we really had become. Still I believed.
2003 late fall. Searching the internet for God knows what - wifey and I began to 'crave' information from another source than Brooklyn. We avoided most 'apostate' sites, including this one during that spell, but read a few essays that eventually lead to CoC and ISoCF. I was still hesitant and kept going back and looking at Ray's website and tossing it about - finally Wifey informed me that the books were on the way - like it or not - she was going to read them and I could do what I wanted to. I read them - again and again. By January 2004 we were 100% convinced it was what it was - lies and manipulation. We never went back.
I spent 43 years of my believing - took me about three weeks, more or less, to know it was all wrong. We celebrate three years out when the ball falls in Times Square 2007.
Jeff
when i was in i was certain of "the truth", though even then there were doubts about various things.
but i left in 1976. at least i was certain that 1975 was incorrect.
spent roughly 30 years in uncertainty.
now, and particularly after connecting with jwd, am certain wts is not fds.
