It has been a cycle of being a full fledge witness then reverting to a state of total inactivity for my family and I. We do awesome for a month or 2, then we're missing in action for another 6 months.
Where I am breaking this cycle, I say no more, my husband who was raised in the 'truth', remains inactive yet devote in heart. I respect that. This is all he's ever known.
However, I was raised a good little mormon girl, left one church claiming to be the only true religion, I know I can do this too. 'tis very simular. I still have nightmares of leaving the mormon church, that what I was conditioned as, that's how I grew up! That's what I've known. In becoming a witness, my brain thought it had found the truth but something in my heart felt wrong. Yet I attributted it to lack of faith, spirtually weak etc. I was a deeply spiritual person-I sought truth, did not stand up for man made and evolved doctrines. What a slap in my face 14 years later that awoke me caught in another leg trap. I'm not sure where I stand religiously except for the knowledge that I hate organized religion yet I still want a relationship with God.
Confusion is the state that I'm left in.
How do you go from seeing the non-christian origin in holidays etc to cross the fence and actually celebrate them?
How do you look at the very real state that the world is in and not hope for some divine help or intervention?
How could God leave us hear with his word the bible and allow so much diversity in it's interpretation?
These are some things that I'm currently chewing on.
I'm just looking for different, perhaps critical insight and perspective.
Thanks to all!!!!!!