1st post here, on a journey of discovery...

by kerc 44 Replies latest jw friends

  • kerc
    kerc

    So after a very, very slow process, thinking over things that were stored in a little box in a corner of my mind, I've decided to finally confirm or deny all the doubts I've had about the Society.

    I'm a 34 year-old married man, work as an IT consultant, with two kids, ages 9 and 2. I was "born" in the Organization. So I took everything as true, never questioned anything, and did all that was asked from me.

    Since I learned how to read and write by myself at the age of 3, I was placed in school two years ahead--so I was only 5 years old in 2nd grade. That means I graduated from high school at 15...And I could tell you that maybe that's when things started going downhill, in "spiritual" terms, even though I didn't know it at the time. But my very analytical mind seemed to be working and storing everything for future reference...

    As soon as I was about to graduate, and after knowing my College Board test score (with a 99% in Mathematics and in English), I knew I could study whatever I wanted...Mechanical Engineering, Architecture, so many things in which I was interested. But then, They came to me and told me I should waste my young years studying in a corrupt University, where I would surely end up as an alcoholic, drug-using, satanic puppy kicker...I should invest my time in eventually going into full-time Field Service! But I wasn't so sure, so I just went ahead and took a short course in Computer Programming (not even an Associates Degree) to have some kind of job...

    Meanwhile, They started to approach me, to talk about baptism...How I was already 17 years old and I needed to make a decision now. So frankly I just felt I had to do it, and took the "tests" and was cleared for baptism. I went ahead and did it...And I felt the same I did before. I never dedicated myseld in private. I just yielded to pressure.

    I eventually met and married a wonderful woman, who like me, was "born" into it all. We tried to be "spiritual", to be at the forefront, be an example...But it was hard. I remember working very, very hard in the Congregation, wanting to be a Ministerial Servant, only to be turned down because I didn't have enough repeat visits in the Field Service report...

    Worship by numbers...

    My dad was a faithful elder, worked hard, they used him (emphasis on "used") at the Conventions...Useful man for the Society. When he died last year, not ONE member of the local Branch came to the funeral home, or called, or anything...All his "worldly" friends came and grieved and let us know how special he was for them.

    My wife and I have become sick of the elitist attitude of most high-ranking Society members. And now we've started to re-discover all the incoherent things related to prophecies, doctrines...How the service had become a routine, something based entirely in appearances, not in substance.

    We don't need to fade out--we have already done so in the last six years. Makes it easier, I suppose. But still hard in a way....So many fears ingrained over all these years. It feels really weird.

    Anyway, this site has proven very useful in my research so far...And it's encouraging to read that so many people have gone through similar experiences!

  • under_believer
    under_believer

    It's a day for first posters, it seems. Welcome to the board. Your situation is similar to mine, only you're much farther along the fading track than I am. Perhaps you can, if time allows someday, post your experiences on how you faded successfully.

  • AuldSoul
    AuldSoul

    Welcome! My background seems very similar to your own. If you have any questions, feel free to ask.

    One of the toughest things to get used to around here is getting your opinions shredded by other people. If you can tough it out, you will probably find that an interactive (if heated) exchange will prove much more productive for helping you solidify you viewpoints and sharpen your reasoning than any discussion you have ever had with one of Jehovah's Witnesses.

    Respectfully,
    AuldSoul

  • Narkissos
    Narkissos

    Welcome kerc,

    Glad you came here.

  • juni
    juni

    Good evening kerc and wife.

    Your posting is all too familiar. I'm sorry to hear about your Dad's funeral and the witness turnout. You need support from people at that time. Those "awful worldly" people were the ones who came to support you. Again we all can relate.

    It's good that you did learn a "trade". So many are stuck w/low paying jobs and their families are suffering. I know personally of some who have divorced over financial hardship. It's so sad what is going on within this organization and how people are being treated.

    Look forward to future postings by you.

    Juni

  • Good Girl or Bad Girl?
    Good Girl or Bad Girl?

    Welcome kerc, I hope too that you will post your fading experience. When I read your first post I repeatedly asked myself the same question: why can't the members see it for what it is? It's maddening. You are an encouragement to us by sharing that you saw through the WT BS.

    Maybe now you go back to school and obtain some degrees. The sky's the limit.

    Hope to hear more about your wife too. It sounds like both of you made it out. That's great. I'm so happy for you. Was there a period of time where one of you met with resistance or did you both basically feel the same way about WTS the entire time?

    Again, welcome.

    Good Girl

  • garybuss
    garybuss

    Welcome!

    I was a born in, COW (child of Witnesses). I did a version of the yoyo thing and was a believing walkaway for 18 years from 1974 to 1992 when I read Crisis Of Conscience.

    ***********

    For conscientious cussedness on the grand scale, no other aggregation of Americans is a match for Jehovah?s Witnesses. Stanley High, The Saturday Evening Post, September 14, 1940 The Way I See it http://www.freeminds.org/buss/buss.htm


  • lovelylil
    lovelylil

    welcome Kerc,

    glad to have you with us.

  • Es
    Es

    welcome to the board.

    Look forward to hearing more

    es

  • serendipity
    serendipity

    Hi kerc and welcome!

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit