A Question. Your Help Requested!

by Englishman 14 Replies latest jw friends

  • Englishman
    Englishman

    There is something that I am not clear about in my mind, so I would much appreciate some input on this 2 part question.

    I keep reading posts from persons who are desperate to leave the JW's. However, almost without exception, these persons state that they will be shunned by their families and friends. So, my first quesion is: Do you mean that you will be officially disfellowshipped by the elders of your congregation if you simply opt to leave?

    Next, if this indeed the case, are local elders aware of the WTBTS stated policy regarding non-shunning of persons who simply desire not to be members any longer?

    This is the policy stated on JW-Media: Do you shun former members?
    Those who simply cease to be involved in the faith are not shunned. In compliance with the Scriptures, however, members can be expelled for serious unchristian conduct, such as stealing, drunkenness, or adultery, if they do not repent and cease such actions. Disfellowshipping does not sever family ties. Disfellowshipped members may continue to attend religious services, and if they wish, they may receive pastoral visits. They are always welcome to return to the faith.—1 Corinthians 5:11-13.

    So, should a letter of resignation also include a copy of the WTBTS statement above so that elders are not tempted to disfellowship?

    Next question, thank you for being patient! Supposing that someone - like myself - informs the elders of the congregation that they no longer wish to be a JW. No shunning should occur if the WTBTS statement is adhered to by the elders. However, supposing that after a reasonable period of time has passed the ex-witness commits an act that would normally result in a disfellowshipping, can the elders still DF him even though his resignation was accepted without shunning at the time? Can you back-date a DF'ing? Can you fire someone who has already left?

    Many thanks in anticipation of me writing to my DF'ing commitee!

    Englishman.

    ..... fanaticism masquerading beneath a cloak of reasoned logic.

  • UK Rector
    UK Rector

    Every elder who reads the PR statement knows it is just that--a slick statement designed to lull outsiders like government officials, not to inform accurately or to tell the truth. Ask anyone in authority and he will tell you the web site is not policy they will recognize.

    The easiest way to enforce family shunning is for elders to state publicly that by your actions or course of conduct, you have disassociated yourself. The treatment is the same, of course. I've picked up and now use the term myself, ENFORCED SHUNNING. That's much clearer than the limp term DF. Even if you do not say or do anything but just "fade," persons may still subject you to shunning at their whim. That happens regularly.

    There is no such thing as back-dating a DF.

    Practice it, people, say it loud and clear now --

    ENFORCED SHUNNING

    ENFORCED SHUNNING

    ENFORCED SHUNNING

    UK Rector

  • Englishman
    Englishman

    UK Rector,

    OK, so lets check this out some more! I suspect that the vast majority of elders are not even aware of this policy of allowing persons to leave without DF'ing, after all how many of them surf the net so that they can read the Societies own statement?

    Surely, if a prospective leaver actually points this out to a committee, they must think twice before invoking shunning, particularly if they are unaware of JW-Media's stated policy.

    Englishman.

    ..... fanaticism masquerading beneath a cloak of reasoned logic.

  • gumby
    gumby

    Englishman:
    If you verbally tell the elders that you no longer wish to be a JW, you will have dissassociated yourself in their eyes and an announcment will be made that bro.xxx is no longer one of jehovah's witnesses. If you quietly just drift off and don't attend anymore without saying why to anyone, you will mearly become inactive. However you can expect a possible sheparding call and questions may be asked as to why you do not come to meeting's anymore. If you tell them why...then you will be dissassociated which is the same treatment as being disfellowshipped.
    If you slowly drift off and enough time has past to where you are somewhat forgotten and it comes to the attention of the elders that you have commited some serious wrongdoing....it will depend on the elder body to decide if enough in the congregation is effected by it and if so..contact you over the issue and proceed from there. My sister slowly drifted out and after a few years had joined another church, was wearing a cross, and they never met with her or contacted her.
    Not all situations are always handled the same in the quietly leaving method. BTW....Their public policies of not shunning those who wish to leave don't mean nothing. That is a lie to look good to outsiders. Good luck and I hope this helps.

  • Princess
    Princess

    My husband and I just left, faded away. It has been almost five years now and no phone calls. We are regularly shunned. Last week I was visiting my grandma the day after my grandpa died and two witnesses shunned me in my grandma's kitchen. This Saturday is the memorial service. My mom (Mulan) has already stated she isn't going to attend. My husband and I will. My back has been killing me over the stress of going back into a KH. I will let you know what happens. I'm fairly certain we will be invisible.

    Princess

  • Englishman
    Englishman

    Well, I think that this is bloody awful!!

    THOSE WHO SIMPLY CEASE TO BE INVOLVED IN THE FAITH WILL NOT BE SHUNNED.

    How many JW's know that this is indeed the stated policy? Not many, I bet! Surely, if we print out the WTBTS statement and present it to those who do the shunning they will at least have to stop and think wont they?

    Englishman.

    ..... fanaticism masquerading beneath a cloak of reasoned logic.

  • bboyneko 2
    bboyneko 2

    Where can I see this policy in print?

  • gsark
    gsark

    Englishman...you just don't GET it...they are TELLING you...I, over 20 years in and around JW am TELLING you...there must be fifty people on this board who left and who can TELL you...

    "THOSE WHO SIMPLY CEASE TO BE INVOLVED IN THE FAITH WILL NOT BE SHUNNED."

    IT IS A LIE!!!!! OKAY!!!!!!!

  • dins
    dins

    I have a question that perhaps Englishman can answer.

    My sister, who was baptised, has been disassociated for several years. I know that she has done many things that would warrant a disfellowshipping..however, my parents and grandmother sort of look the other way.

    However, my aunt who was baptised years ago, was disfellowshipped back in the 60s. SHe only got baptised to please her mother. She was only 12.

    The elders informed my parents and grandmother only nine years ago that they weren't to have anything to do with the aunt. How can that be when all these years have gone by? And where does my sister fit into the scheme of things? Is there a written policy anywhere on this?

    Perhaps someone can help me on this as it's been driving me crazy for nine years!!! Thanks..

    Diana

  • Englishman
    Englishman

    Bboynekko, Dins,

    Here: http://www.jw-media.org/beliefs/beliefsfaq.htm

    Gsark, I know they lie, I've been out for 27 years so I'm not a newbie! My point is that most dubs DO NOT KNOW THAT THIS IS STATED POLICY, use it against them, when they try to DF you point this out, if it makes just one of them think twice, then its worth the effort. Show this to your your family before you're outed!

    Englishman.

    ..... fanaticism masquerading beneath a cloak of reasoned logic.

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