Did your WT-BATS training enable you to accept other conformists?

by Frannie Banannie 12 Replies latest social relationships

  • Frannie Banannie
    Frannie Banannie

    When you were part of the WTS, did you have any problem with accepting and befriending people from ALL walks of life? Or did it prevent you from accepting others from different lifestyles and educational backgrounds?

    For instance:

    1. reformed criminal

    2. ex-bikers

    3. really poor people

    4. people who'd participated in a wholly different lifestyle from yours 5. rich people

    6. poorly educated
    7. other
  • luna2
    luna2

    I know I felt very uncomfortable with gays (sorry folks...I'm embarrassed about it now). When I moved out here to CT, my sister (who already lived here) made plans to take the boys and I on a little excursion into CT wine country. When she picked us up, I was most dismayed to find that she'd also invited her friends, a gay couple, to go with us. They were very nice guys and I didn't make a scene and refuse to go or anything, but I felt horribly uncomfortable because I was convinced Jehooha was frowning down on me from on high for not taking a stand or something. I thought I was a miserable coward because I was simply unable to embarrass my sister and her friends by "kindly" (like how could you do that kindly? Play sick?) refusing to accompany them.

    What is rather sad and ironic is that now that I've lost the JW judgmentalism and opened my mind, my sister has become a born-again fundy Christian and disapproves of the gay lifestyle.

  • Frannie Banannie
    Frannie Banannie
    What is rather sad and ironic is that now that I've lost the JW judgmentalism and opened my mind, my sister has become a born-again fundy Christian and disapproves of ;the gay lifestyle.

    Luna2, I have a similar situation in my fam. My daughter segued into a fundy Christian religion from the WTS and totally disapproves of the gay lifestyle. Unknown to her, because my g/daughter knows better than to even attempt to discuss it with her mother, my g/daughter is exploring this lifestyle in searching for her own identity and life.

    Personally, I don't understand how people can morph from one form of cultism to another so easily....but perhaps the fact that daughter was high on cocaine when she went to fundy church explains it.

    Frannie

  • luna2
    luna2

    Gads, very tough on your granddaughter. I guess sometimes one go 'round with extremism isn't enough...or maybe some folks just feel more comfortable with ridgid rules. My sister, after about eight years in this mega church, seems to be mellowing out a bit. I hope so anyway.

  • Frannie Banannie
    Frannie Banannie
    Gads, very tough on your granddaughter. I guess sometimes one go 'round with extremism isn't enough...or maybe some folks just feel more comfortable with ridgid rules. My sister, after about eight years in this mega church, seems to be mellowing out a bit. I hope so anyway.

    Yes, it is Luna2. She appreciates having her counselor and myself to confide in, I'm sure.

    About feeling more comfortable with rigid rules, that's probably part of it. I think today's societies are still held back somewhat by laws that were made centuries or decades ago, when our interests and freedoms weren't so diverse.

    I hope my daughter mellows out some more. She has a little on the "occult" thingie......after I explained to her that watching movies and reading books about Harry Potter, etc. would not demonize her children or affect their religiosity, since special effects and computers are used to depict spell-casting, etc., instead of real witchcraft being displayed.

  • serendipity
    serendipity

    Hi Frannie,

    I have/had few friends because I'm basically and introver, but I accepted other people as acquaintances and work buddies. The only people I steered clear from were abusive people, JWs or not.

  • Frannie Banannie
    Frannie Banannie
    I have/had few friends because I'm basically and introver, but I accepted other people as acquaintances and work buddies. The only people I steered clear from were abusive people, JWs or not.

    That goes for me, too, Serendipity, and goes double for abusive people. There are time periods in my life when I've been more expansive in reaching out to form friendships, but especially since I've left the borg, I've been mostly introvert.

  • fullofdoubtnow
    fullofdoubtnow

    For me, the jw lifestyle was so all - consuming that I had no real friends outside the org, and found it uncomfortable mixing socially with non - jws, no matter what their social standing. Consequentually, I had only one real friend when I left, though I have made a couple more since then.

  • pamkw
    pamkw

    For me I was the poor kid from the poor family so I had few friends in the congregation. I would have welcomed anyone if they would have been friends with me. As I got older I had my children and then didn't have time or energy to judge anyone. Today I have no trouble accepting people as they are as long as they treat me with respect.

  • Frannie Banannie
    Frannie Banannie
    For me, the jw lifestyle was so all - consuming that I had no real friends outside the org, and found it uncomfortable mixing socially with non - jws, no matter what their social standing. Consequentually, I had only one real friend when I left, though I have made a couple more since then.

    What about within the organization, Fullofdoubtnow? Were you socially prejudiced within the org? If so, has it played a part in how accepting you are of others from different social backgrounds now?

    For me I was the poor kid from the poor family so I had few friends in the congregation. ; I would have welcomed anyone if they would have been friends with me. As I got older I had my children and then didn't have time or energy to judge anyone. ; Today I have no trouble accepting people as they are as long as they treat me with respect. ;
    Pamkw, do you think your not having many friends in the cong was due to social prejudice on the part of others? You sound pretty grounded and with a healthy social attitude to me.

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