Guys and flowers, whadda ya think??

by Super_Becka 60 Replies latest jw friends

  • Nosferatu
    Nosferatu

    I think guys like getting flowers from girls when it's a "secret admirer". I always wanted that to happen to me. When I was with my first fiance, she got me flowers for my birthday. My reaction was probably the same as your bf's reaction.

    One great gift I did for my ex was make her a home video. I was just doing a bunch of dumb stuff, and I played guitar on it. She watched that thing over and over again.

    I'm not sure if you've ever seen your bf in person, but I think he'd love to see a video of you to watch when he's feeling a bit lonely. So if you know someone with a camcorder, make him a personal video. If you have any talent (dancing, stripping), feel free to put it on there! And get creative. Bring out that sense of humor! Get the person using the camera to zoom in on your butt and make it out of focus and you pull down your pants. Leave the rest to his imagination.

  • ballistic
    ballistic

    OK. You type pretty fast too.

    I think you should also think about how often you buy things whatever they are.

    Don't flood this guy with stuff so he's overwhelmed. There is nothing worse for a guy. Remember - he has to do the hard work - not you.

    If you are doing all the hard work and not the guy, it's gunna flop.

    Sorry,... I hate it that way, because I'm a bloke... but that's just the way it is.

  • Super_Becka
    Super_Becka
    I'm not sure if you've ever seen your bf in person, but I think he'd love to see a video of you to watch when he's feeling a bit lonely. So if you know someone with a camcorder, make him a personal video.

    I've thought about that, but I don't have a camcorder or access to one, either. I was thinking about putting together something like that, but with still photos, instead - almost like a slideshow, but with more flair. Whadda ya think??

    Ooo, and yes, I've seen my boyfriend on three occasions, so we're not total strangers.

    I think you should also think about how often you buy things whatever they are.

    Don't flood this guy with stuff so he's overwhelmed. There is nothing worse for a guy. Remember - he has to do the hard work - not you.

    I was concerned about that, too - I'm deathly afraid of smothering a guy, I want to give just the right amount of attention without suffocating him. That's why I don't, for example, phone him any more than twice a week, I don't want to be one of those girlfriends who smothers her boyfriend and scares him away. I give him all of the space that he needs, I don't pester him about anything, I listen to everything he has to say and I try to understand everything that he does. Like emails - we communicate mostly through email, so I email him daily, but sometimes, he doesn't email me for a few days. Sure, I'd like to bug him about that, but sometimes, a guy needs his space and I don't want to smother him, so I let him do what he wants. The problem is, that could lead to some trouble - I gave my last boyfriend all of the space that he wanted and needed, too, and he took that time and space and found himself a new girlfriend.

    We've been dating now for almost 9 months, and I think I've given him a little something on two different occasions. Nothing big, just a couple of little things to say that I'm thinking about him, like the photos that I mentioned a few posts back. He's given me things on many more occasions, he gives me something every time we get together and he sends me things in the mail, too. For example - I have a Canon PowerShot A520 digital camera, my boyfriend gave it to me the very first time we met, before we were dating!! He's big on gift-giving, and he doesn't do it half-assed, either - he sent me a wooden picture-puzzle back in December that cost over $90 US. Why?? Because he knew I'd like it. He takes great pleasure in spoiling me, even when I tell him not to. I just want to be able to do nice things for him to show him that I care.

    Heh, I asked him once what would be a good way for a girl to show a guy that she cares, because guys are so much harder to shop for than girls are. He said, "You wanna surprise me?? Show up at my apartment, naked. Guys love it when sex is the girl's idea."

    -Becka :)

  • Purza
    Purza

    My husband hinted today that he wanted flowers? I was thinking WTF? Anyway, he doesn't know it, but I am having a bonsai plant sent to him this Tuesday. I thought a plant was a good gift for a man.

    I didn't get him this one, but I thought this Bonsai Wine Grape was a good idea. It even comes with a Bonsai tool kit.

    http://ww2.1800flowers.com/product.asp?seid=3&p=3173&sv=639&search%5Ftype=s%5Fcollection&fc%5Ftrack1=&cur%5Findex=&channel=

    Purza

  • ballistic
    ballistic

    lol, that's just great. Erm, I don't have all the answers by any means, and girls are bound to wonder what their guys want. God, I would love just about any girl to turn up on my doorstep naked right now. haha. Thing is, psycologists say men and women are most happy with someone who is their equal. If you are too needy or he starts emailing you 30 times a day asking if you love him, it will fail. My conclusion is to be yourself. If not, it beggers the questions why go through with it anyway? Be true to yourself, remember some makeup company said "you're worth it".

  • Super_Becka
    Super_Becka

    I don't consider myself "needy" in any way, shape or form, which is why I like to think that I'm understanding when a guy needs his space, I don't want to crowd him. Plus, I'm just terrible at being anybody but myself, so I stick with being me, it's easier that way.

    Ugh, why do guys have to be so hard to do anything for?? My guy spoils me rotten - he buys me things, he tells me that he loves me often enough that I don't wonder about it (meaning: he doesn't tell me a million times a day, but he tells me fairly regularly), he's always telling me how great I am and how beautiful he thinks I am, he has planned out a great summer for us, complete with a trip to Florida (he knows I'm a Disney nut, he wants to take me to Disney World for a few days) and a trip to Hawaii, he sends me gifts by mail sometimes, sometimes he calls me out of the blue, just to surprise me, he's so good at all of this. And all I can do is sit here and take it, I'm helpless to return fire!!

    Am I wrong to think that a relationship should be less one-sided?? I have a nagging desire to keep everything fair and equal, and I certainly feel like I'm getting the better end of the deal here. It just doesn't seem fair to me that he can spoil me all the time but it's so hard to do nice things for him. I'm just not comfortable with having someone do so many things for me when I can't reciprocate - I prefer to do things for other people rather than have people do things for me. Hell, I even feel guilty on Christmas morning when my parents give me a bunch of gifts and I can't give back as much as they give me!!

    I think the problem comes from the fact that my last boyfriend was a total jackass who never did nice things for me, so I tried to do nice things for him to show him that I loved him, but he still ran off with another girl anyway. I think that just made me feel like the only way to keep a guy is to do nice things for him, I'm not used to being appreciated as a girlfriend, and it's hard to adjust.

    Men are impossible. Humbug.

    -Becka :)

  • ballistic
    ballistic

    No - it sounds like things are going fine.

    The past, well, we all left that behind and there's no profit in dwelling on what you are most probably wrong about.

  • Super_Becka
    Super_Becka

    So, ballistic, would it be OK if, say, I sent him something sometime soon and then just gave up on the concept and let him do his thing?? It's so hard to find something nice for him that he'll like, maybe it'll just be easier to let him have fun spoiling me and stop complaining about it. He seems to be happiest when he's doing things for me anyway. It's hard for me to accept that I can't really do anything (I like to take care of people and spoil them, it comes naturally to me), but I guess I could learn to live with it. I'm just used to looking after myself and everyone else around me, it makes me uncomfortable to be spoiled. I've got to be the only girl on the face of the planet who complains that her boyfriend insists on spoiling her rotten!!

    I am planning a small package to send him soon, though - I've picked up a book that I think he'll enjoy (he likes to read), it's called "What Canadians Think" (hey, if he's gonna date one, he may as well understand us!!), it's not a novel, I think he'll find it amusing, and I'm currently getting some pictures developed to send him that I know he doesn't have (pictures of us from the last vacation we had together, he's never seen them before), they should arrive any day now, and I'm keeping my eye open for something fun and nerdy and useful, like a pocketknife/flashlight/repair kit, he's a nerd, he'd enjoy something like that.

    Hmm, maybe I should take some pictures of myself in the lingerie I bought myself for Valentine's Day - hey, he's a JW, he doesn't "do" Valentine's Day, I should give him a taste do what he's missing.

    -Becka :)

  • ballistic
    ballistic

    Yes, Becka it sounds like you've got a good relationship going, let him spoil you now. Tell me if I'm wrong, I bet I'm not. I guess everything I've said is a disguised way to say "treat em mean to keep em keen". It applies to both men and women. No one wants to be a door mat. You respect him. Demand respect in return.

  • ferret
    ferret

    I would not be too excited about flowers, but a box of chocolate, WOW!

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