Is spiritual compatibility important?

by serendipity 29 Replies latest social relationships

  • serendipity
    serendipity

    How important is/was spirituality to you when considering a person as a husband/wife? Did you expect the person to have similar spiritual beliefs and goals? If s/he didn't have similar beliefs, was it important to be able to discuss spirituality respectfully ? Or do you view spirituality as a private matter that doesn't need to align with your (potential) spouse's beliefs?

  • doofdaddy
    doofdaddy

    I am not married but do find it a continual frustration that most women I spend time with have little or no interest in spiritual matters.

    The ones that do are mostly b a xtians , so are dogmatic. They are not interested in a conversation so much rather preaching at me.

  • serendipity
  • stillajwexelder
    stillajwexelder

    it helps but is not vital

  • JH
    JH

    Marriage is more sexual than spiritual

    So no, I don't find it important for the present life.

  • Golden Girl
    Golden Girl

    I think problems can arise later when children come into the picture.

    But the thing is..arguments can still arise...even if they are both in the same religion...just a matter of respecting one another.

    Snoozy...

  • SomeGeek
    SomeGeek

    I think problems can arise later when children come into the picture. But the thing is..arguments can still arise...even if they are both in the same religion...just a matter of respecting one another. Snoozy...

    I agree. When children come into the picture, being with someone in a different belief system can be detremental. For example a baptist and jw...do I need to say anything else? Arguments can still arise yes in a simalar [faith] situation, however I would guess with less severe consiquinces, ie, debating weither or not to go to saturday or sunday services versus come to my hall because I can't go to your church. Adding kids to the mix...I have heard many a story of someone's infant child dying or being permantly damaged because parents could not agree on dotrine and thus come up with a decision.

    I "dated" a jw for almost a year (btw, baptist: born and raised) and some of our conversations/ his actions were absolutly devistating. It really put a hole in what we did have and eventually lead to the end of the relationship.

    So...after writting a mini series here :) I will say that spritual compatability is very important. And before people start calling me a hypocryte (doubt that's how you spell it), he didn't tell me he was jw untill later in the relationship. In fact a friend of mind metioned it in passing one day and I asked him about it.

  • FlyingHighNow
    FlyingHighNow

    For me it's important. To have differences can be a source of arguments and frustration. Andy and I both have similar feelings. We have similar views on almost everything. I highly recommend this kind of meeting of the minds: our relationship soars above all others we've had.

  • Vivamus
    Vivamus

    As long as we both can talk about it in a respectfull matter to eachother ... it doesn't bother me. Don't try to convert me, and I shan't try to make you a disbeliever ...

  • PoppyR
    PoppyR

    I think it's less about what you believe and more about how you are as a person.

    Now I'm living in a divided home, I see that my husband has respect for my beliefs, although doesn't share them and will talk and discuss stuff with me.

    I've yet to see how this could pan out if the children needed a blood transfusion for example.

    So I dont feel it's vital that you share the same beliefs, although that's good and another common interest, but I do think it's vital you understand, respect and dont try to change the other person.

    Poppy

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