If I said that in my little hometown congregation the feathers would fly. My grandmother's memorial service would be pushed to backstage and within minutes every elder in the KH would be asking if they could talk to me privately. My mother would cry, "How could you do this to me in front of all my friends?" and my five years of careful fading would disintegrate.
Okay, maybe that's a little dramatic. But it would definitely create a stir. I hate the thought that my grandmother's funeral turning into a gossip fest about me, but that would be their doing, not mine.
Maybe something along the lines of "That's kind of personal, doncha think?" Or maybe, "I'd rather not talk about that at my grandmother's funeral." I'm not into lying to keep my nose clean anymore, but I also don't think the situation is appropriate for the inevitable shocked gasps and shepherding that's sure to ensue if I'm brutally honest.
Not to mention the elders wouldn't hesitate to find out where my publisher card is and contact them to help me back to the flock. Then I'll probably be up against the wall to make it official.