For those with bf or gf who are JW's: How the JW view non JW's

by Check_Your_Premises 18 Replies latest social relationships

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  Super_Becka

  jgnat, I feel very comfortable coming here for information and advice, I don't think I've ever felt as accepted as I do here. I'm still sorting things out with my relationship right now, but I know that as I think about things and have more questions and requests for information, I'm always free to come here for the answers, or at least some good advice.

  I'm actually kinda addicted to this forum now, I have to come visit it a couple of times a day. It is normal to plan one's life around an online forum??

  I love that quote about giving advice, too, it's so fitting and appropriate.

  And for anyone else here wondering if they can get the advice and information they need, this is the place to be!!

  -Becka :)
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  DJ2424

  im dating a jehovahs witness and she hates her parents because they give her no freedom. I am secretly dating her and her parents have no idea. I never get to see her unless i sneak her out of her house. She said recently she wants to get married and that she loves me. I am very confused of what to do......please help me!!!
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  Super_Becka

  DJ2424,

  I'm no expert in this particular area - I'm actually dating a JW, too, and I'm here for advice - but I would definitely encourage you to be very careful with this relationship, you don't want to get in over your head, and to stick around the board. There are lots of people here who share similar experiences and can give you some good advice and tips on how to handle this situation.

  You've come to the right place.

  Welcome to the board!!

  -Becka :)
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  serendipity

  Hi DJ, welcome to the forum!
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  kiddotan

  Welcome DJ

  I've been with my JW other half for sometime. Stick around here and read and read. Great stuff here. Most will tell you to run. You have to do what is in your heart.

  Hiding you from the family is a cruelty, I only had to deal with for a few months before I said that I don't need this kind of life. I can happily live by myself. I don't need him, but I do want to be with him and left it up to him to decide what he wants to do with his life. I definatly aren't asking him to change (Of this I have NO right, nor does he have any right to MAKE me change).

  Again hang around and check the best of section and relationship section. Jgnat started up a series for non-jws involved with someone in the troof.

  Tan
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  Kristofer

  love this topic. My girlfriend is JW. The Elders have spoken to her. The fate of our relationship lies in her choice of which I am yet to here. I however, can't bring myself to give up on her.
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  Super_Becka

  The fate of our relationship lies in her choice of which I am yet to here. I however, can't bring myself to give up on her.

  Kristofer, I hear ya. My boyfriend is a JW, and while he isn't active or anything (he's not even baptized, and he hasn't been to his KH in months), he's still stubborn about some of his beliefs, while he conveniently ignores others, so I'm in the same situation you are. I love him, but it's eventually going to come down to his choice between me and "them", and I don't know how that's going to turn out. The worst part is feeling so strongly about him and knowing that it probably won't work out, but being completely unable to just give up on him.

  -Becka :)
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  miss_ellie

  al join you!!!!! pretty much same situation although me and my bf were friends for a while before he found the troof but only a couple during.....we have split up a few times as he has had to choose me or jehovah but we just cant seem to stay apart!!! lately he hasnt been attending the meetings as he is working alot to treat me to a hol for my birthday as he says its more important!!?? doesnt sound very j.w like so maybe things are looking up for us but not going to get my hopes up or anything.....ive also been subtley putting across some of the questions in this thread so thanks to all that contributed!!!

  also while he was staying at mine last week(its also a long distance relationship to make things even more complicated!!!) we went to the sunday meeting in my area...can i say what a load of s**** i tell u if it wasnt for the love of my b.f and respecting him i would have gladly clobbered the elder with my bag!!!! he obv didnt know there were any worldly peeps in the room and he said that we were all clueless clones of each other and he told everyone to be aware of those with beautiful eyes as its satan trying to draw you into temptation!!! i felt sorry for all the children at the meetings i mean they dont have a say what religion they are brought up in!!!! poor things...one boy cried for the whole service...he had the right idea!!

  haha had quite a gigglw with that statment with my b.f as even he saw it as wildly unreasonable and he has always said whenever he looks into my eyes its like i cast a spell on him!!!! so im satan now am i? hehe

  miss)_elles x
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  kid-A

  Hi kids,

  As an ex-JW who ONLY dated non-JWs growing up, I can relate. I was never baptized and never really believed any of it, but because I lived at home with JW parents, I had to sneak around with my "worldly" girlfriends behind their backs. My advice is, it all depends on how serious your BF/GF is about the watchtower and what their future plans are regarding this. A few points to ponder:

  1) Are they already baptized? This complicates things alot more because they have a lot more to lose (i.e. being formally shunned by their families) by getting "caught" with you.

  2) If they really want to stay in this religion, think of what that implies for your future life together....what about celebrating holidays? Will they refuse to spend x-mas with your "worldly" parents? What about having kids? Do you want your kids to have birthdays? Halloween? Easter? Will they force your kids to not participate if the old "watchtower" guilt pops up in the future?

  3) What about blood? How do they feel about this? If you had kids, would they insist that your children die in obedience to the watchtower corporation?

  Think long and hard about these issues because the doubts they are having about the JWs may be real, but they may also be a passing phase and the worst place to be would be with a husband or wife that suddenly turned into a looney, zealot jehovahs witness AFTER the wedding!!! Dating a JW......you need to carefully apply some 'risk management' strategies before getting too serious.