Elder-speak....How do they manipulate us?

by jgnat 44 Replies latest jw friends

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  jgnat

  Can you help me build a glossary of Elder-speak? You know, those phrases and arguments designed to appease, coerce, or guilt congregation members in to a desired course. By exposing elder-speak, I hope to reduce the power of the words. By reducing their power I can help people build defences against them. I'll start:

  "How do you know Jehovah hears your prayers?" - attack's the person's confidence to approach Jehovah on his own.

  "Wait on Jehovah" - packs their doubts down where the sun don't shine.

  "You have a problem, brother." - Turnaround, logs to slivers. If you are busy defending yourself you won't notice the speaker has no argument.

  "You've invested so much already, it would be a shame to throw it all away." Direct appeal to cognitive dissonance. Helps the person make more excuses why their choice wasn't so bad to start with.

  "You know what you did wrong." - Gets all sorts of unasked confessions out of the guilty party. Everyone is guilty about something.

  "Is your choice worth giving up your life for?" - Direct threat. Leave the society and die at Armageddon.

  Help me. What was used on you? How well did it work?
• 

  xjwms

  See what happens when you leave Jehovah.....

  A young gal from our Cong, never baptised, stopped meetings got pg, and lost the baby at birth.

  Gossip so bad, life style, and see what happens, .. see, .. see.
• 

  Finally-Free

  "We don't know what your situation is, and we don't want to get too personal." - means "we don't know and we don't care - we will judge you according to our personal opinions, not facts."

  W
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  metatron

  Throwing a well thought out question back at 'em often leaves them floundering, since they are unprepared for critical thinking.

  "How do you know Jehovah hears your prayers?" Why do think Jehovah is listening to your prayers? What's the evidence?

  "Wait on Jehovah" Why not use this advice on contributions? Jehovah will provide, we don't have to bother.

  "You have a problem, brother" Is my problem the fact that you're unloving?

  "You've invested so much already" I know, doesn't it all seem wasted? Why go on this way, expecting more of the same?

  "You know what you did wrong" Are you talking to me or a mirror?

  "Is your choice worth giving up your life for?" Are my choices worth living for?

  metatron
• 

  AuldSoul

  "Suppose you are entirely correct. What then? Where will you go?"

  Direct appeal to cognitive dissonance, followed by meaningless interrogative. They encourage you to hypothetically accept that you are right when you already know you are provably right. They push toward consonance in favor of your prior choices by sidestepping whether your proof is valid and trying to get you to reveal your future plans (which you probably have not formed yet) during a period of cognitive turmoil they created.

  I'm going to spend a few minutes on this one, because it is from a big family of similar appeals.

  The answer to the questions they pose only matters if you are actually entirely correct. If you are only supposedly entirely correct, there is no reason to even ask the question, "What then?"

  The best answer I know of is, "I will figure that out once I know whether or not I am entirely correct. Can you show me that I am not entirely correct?" They have nowhere to go at that point but to attack your "pridefulness" or your "motive."

  Here are others in the same family with similar recommended responses.

  "Suppose this isn't Jehovah's Organization. Where will you go?" Answer: "If it isn't? Anywhere would be preferable according to Revelation 18:4-8."

  "Suppose this isn't Jehovah's Organization. Which one is?" Answer: "If we are still living in the Great Apostasy, why would there have to be one?" (They HATE that response, they have no answer at all.)

  "So, if this isn't God's Organization, how will you carry out the worldwide preaching work?" Answer: "Hm. I don't know. How was it carried out during the Great Apostasy?" (They HATE that response, they have no answer at all.)

  "So if you don't believe X anymore, what do you believe?" Answer: "I believe all of my beliefs should be based on (the Bible/logic). Is that wrong? I also believe I don't have to necessarily tell everyone what I believe. You don't think I should tell everyone what I believe, do you?" (If they say it is wrong or that you should tell everyone, they are speaking in favor of apostasy, they cannot answer these questions directly.)

  "How will you meet the requirement at Hebrews 10:24, 25?" Answer: "From the context, it seems to only apply to anointed ones. You don't think I'm anointed, do you?" (This made a Brother spit his mouthful of soda back into his glass. Other religions have feetwashers, we have backwashers, LOL!)

  AuldSoul
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  jgnat

  Thanks, guys, this is great! Here's some more,

  "Did you get this information off the internet" attack the source instead of answering the question, works well because most JW's will have a seared conscience already for looking on the evil internet
  
  "Why do you always point to negative things" You used to be such a positive person
  
  "Selective bible quotes like: They were not of our sort and went out from us" Are you not of our sort?
  
  "What other organization has done more for the truth?" makes you suggest an alternative so they can quickly highlight areas where you as a JW were taught they were wrong.
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  Effervescent

  I managed to fly under the Elder's radar my whole life until the one silly incident that changed it all for me. So I don't have a lot of personal experience of the rhetoric other than what my father always told me, which I'm guessing he probably still got out of the Elder's Secret One-Liner Manual. (I'm convinced there is such a thing! LOL) The one time I got in serious trouble though, my Dad had found out that I had knowledge of a sin (my best friend had a boyfriend at school, the only time she saw him, and she wasn't baptised). He gave a talk a few nights later and went totally off subject to stare straight at me and say "Even if you just KNOW about a sin, and you don't notify the Elder's of that person's sin, it's as if you committed the sin yourself." Followed by "Sometimes you think you can get away with things, but Jehovah sees everything, and it will be much worse for you to be judged by HIM." I was completely humiliated and scared, so of course I went straight back and spilled everything.

  Then ran away from home for good two months later.
• 

  garybuss

  
  Glossary of American English Hacker Theocratese

  http://www.ashelf.com/wordlists/e/eec/www/=A.html
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  jgnat

  Thanks, Gary. I'm alert to the words and phrasing, "interested" "opposed" "should" "truth", "true Christian", "conscience matter". Plain old words that have a whole other layer of meaning for a JW.

  I'm looking for those particular phrases meant to goad people in to a particular direction.
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  Cellist

  "We miss you. We love you." That's the wedge they try to use as the excuse why they're sticking their nose in your business. Especially used when they can't try more overt bullying tactics. This one's a sneaky attempt to make you lower your guard.

  Cellist