Is there encouragement and hope for the disfellowshipped?

by Butterflyleia85 22 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  Butterflyleia85

  I am 24 years old I was disfellowshipped at 21 and reinstated last year January then committed a sin and disfellowshipped again five months later.

  I don't think I realized what I got into. I tried hard to fend for myself and get back in, the pressure got to me and I fell out again. But since I understood what it entailed I fought hard to stay in. I appealed the elders decision and I lost.

  It's so frustrating to know that you want the truth, you want whats right, and you want your family and friends but you can't have it, because you were young naive and curious.

  I have been out of the truth and in. It's true there is evil in both places. But it's the people not the Organization, the Organization is made for a perfect world, a perfect family, a perfect life with strict laws and restrictions to keep them in that perfection. Well sorry the people are not perfectly in same mind, same family conditions, same circumstances. Everyone of the members have their own opinions and personalities so it frustrating to see the printed pages in the publications be so firm and set on a certain n topic then hear elders give their speeches and then hear others state their opinions, experiences, etc. I'm so confused about what really is a right motive to go about being disfellowshiped and have respect as well as give respect.

  So what about disfellowshipment? This is a serious matter to me it's effecting everything my relationship with God, my name, my family, and my friends.

  How should I treat my family without feeling like I am being a bad influence or drawing them away from God?

  How should I deal with being disfellowshipped?

  How should I go about approaching the elders about matters good or bad while being disfellowshiped?

  When I first got DF (disfellowship) I didn't understand writing a letter, appealing, etc.

  I wanted to fight but I didn't understand how too.

  I didn't understand the seriousness of it. I figured it was like a counsel room or a setting like when you discuss matters with your parents.

  Then say I'm ready to get in, I list my needs of improvement. But what's next?

  Some of my DF friends have recorded in their calender book days they go to meetings and then show it to elders when they hold a meeting to get reinstated. After a long time attending the meetings the elders may over look you have attended that day especially as months go by it's nice to have prove you been there.

  So I know this that going to the meets is suppose to be a means of incouragement but seriously it's so hard and hummiliating.

  How do you get motivated and how do you feel you have God's back when there is no one on one person to person incouragement?

  If God gives you holy spirit and takes it away when do you know you have it or if you will beable to get it at all being DFed?

  So seriously I now know I'm not doomed to die, my life did not end, so I know now I don't have to live life to an extreme, but now what?

  I still want and do crave spiritual food. I don't want to be pulled into any other religion and I don't want to hear something that is "tickling my ears".

  Any suggestions.
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  Wasanelder Once

  If you are looking for encouragement to return to the meetings and get reinstated you will not find much of that here. Sorry to hear that your relationships are severed. It is painful. You are better off reading more posts here on the history and doctrines of JW's. You will learn that they are dishonest and teach man made doctrines. Keep searching for the truth about the "Truth". Then you may not want to be reinstated. Thanks for posting. W.Once
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  bohm

  dear butterfly.. it sound like you are in a hard and confusing situation. I have never been a jehovahs witness (my girlfriend is though) and it is quite hard to give you specific advice regarding your situation. As i understand you, you are not really interested in very polarized views for/against "the truth", but seek help in how to deal with your own emotions regarding being disfellowshipped and how to interact with your family. With those two things, i would strongly recommend you the book "Releasing the bonds" by stephen hassan - he is not and have never been a jehovahs wittness, but it deals with how you can get a good dialogue going with family members who are in a highly controlling religion like jehovahs witness. it helped me a lot, even though you might not agree with all the conclusions. you can read more about it on amazon.

  sincerely!
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  isaacaustin

  There is encouragement for you. You do not need the org to serve Jehovah. My advice to you is to use this time to reaffirm your faith in the organization by thoroughly researching its roots and history. they claim to be God's steward on his earthly affairs due to their exemplary track record up to 1919 (when Jesus appointed them). Research their history using their older publications as well as the Proclaimers book. If their history truly matches to what they say you will come out of this even more convinced that the org is the only place to be. Feel free to PM me if you would like to talk. And stop beating yourself up, I am sure you are a wonderful person.
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  WTWizard

  I have some news for you: Those strict rules are nothing more than a way to usurp your time and energy. They want nothing more than to have you wasting all your time doing their work, giving them the power to seize the whole world and plunge the whole world into the Second Dark Ages. To do that, they need all the help from you that they can get. And, making these rules is a start--they start with sex, and build a whole catalog of stupid rules designed to prevent you from breaking the big one.

  The news is that all those rules are unnecessary for a perfect society. If everyone strictly observed only the rule of not initiating the use of force, threats of force, or fraud against other people or their property, we would need no other rules. People would be able to learn about the universe without having religions getting in the way or governments protecting big drug company interests. And, you would never have to sacrifice your pleasure for some higher cause--especially some Almighty Lowlife Scumbag that demands obedience, keeps people distressed, promises relief "someday soon" from this distress, and lies about some mystic Original Sin in order to make Himself look good.

  Now, imagine a world where people could create things of use for society and not be held down by politicians or religions. Chances are, they would get more kicks out of doing that than they ever would by using drugs (which would cause the drugs to sit there until they go out of date, without needing any laws against using them). Kick crimes would drop out, while people would actually enjoy their work so much that "necessity crimes" (those committed to feed oneself or family) would be more drudgery than real work. The free market would solve our problems, weeding out the bad products and rewarding the good ones. Scams would stop working as they get exposed (and better products come out); the scammers would only ruin their reputation and have trouble pulling off other scams. And, you would find yourself getting and staying rich without much conscious effort.

  Only very rarely would anyone actually need to be removed. Anyone that tries to initiate the use of force, threats of force, or fraud to seize unearned control of people would find themselves getting laughed at. They would be shunned, preventing them from seizing control of the world. Everyone else, including those who are minding their own business (even those leading debauched lives) would be welcome.

  If I remember, Jesus was very lenient with people that were "sinners". Jesus understood the stagnation that leads to these "sins", in order to break out of unbearable stagnation. He also realized that the religions tried to enforce every little rule, and was not anywhere near as lenient with those people that tried to intrude into life. You coerce people to obey the religious laws, Jesus would lambaste you. And this is the Jesus in the Bible and many passages that never made it into the Bible--not the Jesus that Paul mistakenly wrote about or that the writers were confused into writing 40-60 years after the fact. And not the "Jesus" that religions teach about today--once the embellishments are removed, Jesus taught that people do best when their thinking is not corrupted by excessive external rules. Even though religion does its utmost to associate Jesus with "Christian" rules including the requirement to follow Jesus, he did not agree to that requirement.

  Now, look at the witless religion. If you claim that they need all those rules for a "perfect society", is that really what Jesus meant? The last I heard, Jesus got p***ed at the religions for putting up such strict rules. Thus, it is not just your moral weakness that is causing you to break those rules--it is because those rules are not supposed to be there in the first place!
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  yknot

  If you want to get reinstated (and you sound like you do for social reasons)....... submit yourself back into the process.

  .... before embarking however....

  Download a copy of the Elder manual and read it in it's entirety to understand what the Elders are looking to see and discern.

  Here is a link that includes notations http://www.4shared.com/file/62487460/676fa4ef/1991-Pay-Attention-Elders-Manual_with_NOTES.html?dirPwdVerified=d6acb320

  Isaccaustin is correct that you really don't need an organization to have a relationship with Jehovah. The Bible says Jesus is the mediator between man and God. Surely you already accept Jesus as the Messiah, Redeemer & Mediator! So go to Jah in prayer through Jesus and ask for a spiritual journey that leads to a stronger relationship and understanding.

  Many posters here would gladly share with you PDF copies of older publications of the WTS should you decide to 'investigate' as suggested in the Bible Teach book.

  Do you still attend ? Do you have current publications....... do you want us to upload them for you?

  We have another on this forum who is 'inactive' but associating with us for upbuilding. We have weekly WT study discussion usually hosted by Blondie. Lukewarm usually does the CBS and is open for TMS/SM commentary too.

  With the new season almost here you will see threads on SPADs, CAs and Oct's Annual Meeting!

  We also have many Elders (active and those who have stepped down), Gilead Graduates, Bethelites, MSs and Pioneers whose knowledge you can seek.

  So why not start with the Manual and ask further questions later........ you will find many eager to help you!

  If there is anything else let us know!

  ......oh and BTW.....

  

  I am glad you joined and posted!
• 

  bluecanary

  Welcome Butterflyleia85!

  I'm sorry to hear about the heartache you're going through right now. I've never been disfellowshipped, but I do empathize. I went through a lot of sorrow with the way I was treated by the elders and spent many years feeling a terrible weight of guilt and unworthiness.

  It may not feel like it, but the place you are in right now is an ok place to be. After all, when you are at the bottom, there is no where to go but up, right? Now is the time for you to take your spirituality in your own hands. It's scary, but you can do this. Right now, the elders are no longer between you and Jehovah. It's just you and Him now, which is actually pretty cool.

  It sounds like you were raised as a witness like I was. I was baptized at age 12. How old were you when you were baptized? I believed that everything the Watchtower Society printed was as infallible as the Bible, that it was the direct word of God coming through man. How do you feel about it?

  After my final personal ordeal, I realized that the elders did NOT have God's holy spirit. They were just men, doing what they thought was best, but not in harmony with the Bible. Jesus gave the illustration of the shepherd that would leave the 99 sheep to go searching for the lost 1. Elders everywhere have shown that they do not care about the 1. They care only for the flock as a body and will do anything to preserve its reputation, even if they have to toss the 1 over the cliff. Has your experience been similar?

  If you want to draw close to God, what's the best way to do that? Isn't it by reading the Bible? When is the last time you just read from the Bible, without jumping around from scripture to scripture and relying on watchtower sources to explain what it's talking about? Do you think God would be mad at you if you took some time to just read the Bible without diluting it with manmade reading materials?

  It's so frustrating to know that you want the truth, you want whats right,

  That's awesome. I feel the same way. I just want to know the TRUTH. Now is the time to really study and compare, to find out if the witnesses have the truth. Of course, they have always told you they do. Think about it: if you go to a car lot to purchase a car, isn't the salesperson going to tell you how great their particular model is? If you want to find out whether there's anything wrong with it, you take it to a mechanic to check it over independently, right?

  Why not do the same with what the witnesses teach? If it's the truth, it will stand up to an independent investigation of the scriptures and you will feel confident that you've made the right decision in picking a religion. If it doesn't hold water, you will lose the oppression of guilt that you're shrouded in right now and be free to continue studying and reaching for the real truth. Either way, you win! The only way you'll lose is if you continue to blindly believe what the witnesses teach without researching it. You will be miserable for as long as you do. You will not be obeying John 17:3 to keep taking in knowledge.

  It's ok to be like the noble-minded Bereans who checked everything they were learning with the Scriptures. If you want some things to think about, there is some good study material here.

  If you want a friend, I've sent you my email in a private message. Just click on the little envelope at the top right corner of the screen.

  May Jehovah bless you in your quest for truth and happiness.
• 

  yknot

  Butterflyleia85 here is Lukewarms thread on this weeks CBS, why not share some comments!

  http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/friends/180651/1/Congregation-Bible-Study-Comments-Week-Commencing-24-August-2009

  
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  leavingwt

  Welcome to the forum!
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  hamsterbait

  DF peoples prayers are not listened to by Jehovah - that is a WT teaching. You are under a sentence of death.

  Since you cannot have any relationship with either Christ or God according to them, you are reduced to begging for mercy from mere men, who have chopped and changed their teachings so often, you would be mad to trust them anymore.

  HB