Zandor

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Posts by Zandor

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  41

  Mother Forces 5 Year-Old Son To . . .

  by Zandor in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  can anyone here, lay person or professional describe or give insights into the effects the following has on a child?.

  when my friend, the middle child of 3 siblings, was five years old, his mother took him by the hand and led him to the house where his father was having an affair with another woman.

  she opened the door to confront her husband who was actually in the act of having sex with the other woman, and deliberately exposed her young son to this drama.. .

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  Zandor

  Hate to break it to you, but yes, the mother DID force the child into seeing whatever lay behind that door. According to M, she held him by the hand and stood there letting him take it all in- the surprise entrance, and the ensuing reactions, etc. As a parent, I cannot imagine taking my child, at any age, to confront my spouse, argue, fight, whatever. This was a highly charged problem between the parents, and she brought the child along in order to inflict pain and shame on the husband, used him as a pawn with no consideration for how this would effect the child. For the mother, catching them in the act of sexual intercourse was PERFECT for her purposes. She FORCED this on the child.

  Edited to say that it occurs to me that some people with very strong opinions do not take the time carefully read what others take the time to thoughtfully write, and tend to miss or distort statements or respond without asking questions for clarification. lol
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  41

  Mother Forces 5 Year-Old Son To . . .

  by Zandor in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  can anyone here, lay person or professional describe or give insights into the effects the following has on a child?.

  when my friend, the middle child of 3 siblings, was five years old, his mother took him by the hand and led him to the house where his father was having an affair with another woman.

  she opened the door to confront her husband who was actually in the act of having sex with the other woman, and deliberately exposed her young son to this drama.. .

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  Zandor

  Thanks for your two cents, BSD.
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  41

  Mother Forces 5 Year-Old Son To . . .

  by Zandor in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  can anyone here, lay person or professional describe or give insights into the effects the following has on a child?.

  when my friend, the middle child of 3 siblings, was five years old, his mother took him by the hand and led him to the house where his father was having an affair with another woman.

  she opened the door to confront her husband who was actually in the act of having sex with the other woman, and deliberately exposed her young son to this drama.. .

  1. 
  2. 
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  Zandor

  I said he tumbled into my life sideways. The drug use and addiction came to the surface over time and was not apparent until he came to me recently to share his anguish over it and how it was overtaking him.

  No, we never hooked up. I am not gay and have no interest in him sexually.

  I agree that he needs professional help, but he refuses to accept this kind of help and is rapidly cycling in his pattern of brief sobriety and relapse. I know that I am not adequately equipped to counsel or heal him, but I am determined to keep pointing him to rehab and counseling each time he relapses and during his breif days of sobriety. The one thing I understand most here is that addiction destroys lives and relationships. I watched family members live and die from various forms of addiction.

  I'm here because there are certain things about addiction and abuse I do not understand, and I really want to. I am here trying to garner insight, and I'm hopeful that I can find a way to make a difference. How can I do this, or say the right thing, or do the right thing without sharing his story? It's what people do on this and other forums. This kid merits being saved from his destructive course, and requires intervention. You've drawn a lot of conclusions without any evidence, and you're a bit dickish about it, and that's fine, but sincerely, screw yourself.
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  41

  Mother Forces 5 Year-Old Son To . . .

  by Zandor in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  can anyone here, lay person or professional describe or give insights into the effects the following has on a child?.

  when my friend, the middle child of 3 siblings, was five years old, his mother took him by the hand and led him to the house where his father was having an affair with another woman.

  she opened the door to confront her husband who was actually in the act of having sex with the other woman, and deliberately exposed her young son to this drama.. .

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Zandor

  Sure, Bella15, perspective is what empowers a person to move on. You are right.

  Her abuse goes further, IMO, that she snubbed out any and all self-esteem and confidence that ever tried to take root in him, and all three of her children seem to be emotionally dependent on her and her narcissism. She is still very much influencing, enabling, and manipulating him since he still lives at home and it's been hard to get him to see that he needs to get away from her influence and set new boundaries.
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  41

  Mother Forces 5 Year-Old Son To . . .

  by Zandor in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  can anyone here, lay person or professional describe or give insights into the effects the following has on a child?.

  when my friend, the middle child of 3 siblings, was five years old, his mother took him by the hand and led him to the house where his father was having an affair with another woman.

  she opened the door to confront her husband who was actually in the act of having sex with the other woman, and deliberately exposed her young son to this drama.. .

  1. 
  2. 
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  Zandor

  "Zandor, no offense, but when it comes to family issues+drugs+sex you're either the problem, the solution, or the conduit... and there is no way you cannot possibly be any of these.

  So... exactly how is any of this YOUR problem?"

  You wording is a little muddled, but the thrust of your statement is that I am either THE problem, THE solution, or THE conduit?

  Define "conduit".

  Since I was not present in this man's life during the onset of the abuse and ensuing drug and sex addiction, and because M came tumbling sideways into my life only 6 months ago, I am fairly confident that I am not the problem. I would be grateful, however, if I could somehow be at least part of the solution. While I don't find your question offensive, I do find your three options a bit limiting pending the definition of your use of the word, "conduit".
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  41

  Mother Forces 5 Year-Old Son To . . .

  by Zandor in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  can anyone here, lay person or professional describe or give insights into the effects the following has on a child?.

  when my friend, the middle child of 3 siblings, was five years old, his mother took him by the hand and led him to the house where his father was having an affair with another woman.

  she opened the door to confront her husband who was actually in the act of having sex with the other woman, and deliberately exposed her young son to this drama.. .

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Zandor

  She really had no way of knowing whether her husband and the other woman would actually be in the act when she surprised them. But she did go with the intent of catching them together whether in the act or not and confront them. She deliberately took M (five years old at the time). It would not surprise me if she didn't consider it a bonus to have the little boy witness the sexual act of infidelity in order to shame the husband. But, Jesus, what a terribly selfish and cruel thing to vicimize the boy even more than just having parents who divorce.

  I'm guessing that she, armed with the knowlege that her husband was in the other woman's house, felt justified and entitled to just open the door. I might feel the same, but it would have been something I would have done alone or with an adult witness, and NOT one of my children no matter what their age.
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  24

  Narcisstic Personality Disorder...

  by new hope and happiness in

  1. social
  2. entertainment

  hi,.

  i would value any shared opinions or expereinces people have had with narcisstic people.. .

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  Zandor

  I've had some first-hand experience with someone who has NPD.

  Don't have time to write about it at the moment, but I will share later this evening.
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  12

  I'm Taking A "Newly Interested One" To Her First Meeting

  by Zandor in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i've been out of the organization for quite a number of years, and still feel that uneasy feeling that was washed into every cell of my being by wt indoctrination since birth.

  never seems to go away completely, does it?.

  i use to feel the need to talk about my experience in the organization to others, to worldlies, and they never quite seem to understand.

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  Zandor

  "She may begin to hate and despise you later on if she does some research on this dangerous and maligning cult."

  Guess you didn't take the time to carefully read what I took the time to thoughtfully write.

  I am no longer in the organization of JW's. We are going just so my friend can understand the brainwashing process I went through from infancy. We will most likely crack jokes back and forth in a whisper, giggle like adolescents, then go out for coffee and discuss what she saw and what she might have missed.

  I want to study the WT article ahead of time just so I can insert some critical thinking-style comments in between the canned answers the rank and file regurgitate. Would love to very innocently cause some mouths to fall open in dismay as just someone who knows stuff in general
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  2

  Can Anyone Tell Me Which WT

  by Zandor in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  which watchtower mag is going to be used next sunday at the kingdom hall?.

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  Zandor

  Which Watchtower Mag is going to be used next Sunday at the Kingdom Hall?
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  12

  I'm Taking A "Newly Interested One" To Her First Meeting

  by Zandor in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i've been out of the organization for quite a number of years, and still feel that uneasy feeling that was washed into every cell of my being by wt indoctrination since birth.

  never seems to go away completely, does it?.

  i use to feel the need to talk about my experience in the organization to others, to worldlies, and they never quite seem to understand.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Zandor

  "What the hell is a 'JewBu'?"

  Jewish and also Buddhist.

  LOL, I really can't speak to what harmony, contradictions or conflicts that might present in a practicing JewBu.

  I am no longer in. Going back to the KH is, for me, is merely an exercise in irony and mischieviousness for myself, and the gift of insight for my friend.