My mom feels that she was deceived by the organization and she cling into the publications that were valid 40 years ago. She does not recognize the WT as the one she entered in 70's when big A was about to happen. I know she is confused, she wants to believe that she serves God, but she feels that the WT and her KH is not the right place for it anymore. She was told that generation of 1914 will see the end, while watching everyone of them to die. She is 80, and leaving WT would end her social life, plus my sibling, in-laws, and cousins and extensive family would shun her.
My sibling is confused as well, goes back and forth with extreme views on anything WT say is true and everyone else is wrong including my mom. My mom has to hide all the old WT she had accumulated and some of them are back from the late 1960's. She had them bounded and she likes to read them through, but my sibling insist that it is apostate material and should be discarded. I told my mom to turn the material to local university library for research, so I hope she does. My sibling has period of extreme activity in WT and than she will suddenly withdrew and than return year later. We had not talked too much after my walkout in 1994 and we grew apart for next 15 years. My nieces and nephews do not know me as I was never mentioned. Lately I am back in the picture after series of personal crises my sibling had until I was the only one who could financially backed them from failed marriage. So the communication is better, but the 15 years been lost and I cannot ever get them back.
Sometimes I think back to my childhood back in the early 70's when my JW aunt started to study with my parents and introduced them into the cult. I wonder how my life would be different if my parents had refused to study with my aunt that summer. This cult just destroyed the family. My grandparents were together for 66 years and other 55. My parents always wanted to have long marriage like this but it failed apart after my father refused to get baptized (he said he see BS through it) and left us without ever divorcing to live with his mom where he died under her care.