confusedandalone

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Posts by confusedandalone

• 
  38

  Did you ever write your disassociation letter?

  by make yourself in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  but never gave it to the elders or anyone in the congregation?

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• 

  confusedandalone

  Make yourself I was a born in. I decided I was done at 35 or so. I spent my twenties turning down great opportunities for work etc... yes 35 years of my life wasted. You are in your twenties with nothing holding you to the org. No family and you can make more friends. I lost all my family and friends on leaving... but I had respect for myself and my decisions.

  I am almost at the point that I no longer feel I have any real connection to the org. I have no need to wonder if they will ring my bell. Like happy at last no one will harass me or family. I don't have to keep up with the latest news and mags. I don't have a need to rent out space in a newspaper and tell everyone else why I am mad. Also remember that some of the people who tell you that writing a letter is playing by their rules are the same people who a few years ago said they wanted to write one as well.

  They still have not written letter. Are they scared... or confused? Who knows. I was once scared and confused. However in a personal decision I put on my big boy pants, wrote a letter and now I am completely free of them without harrassment.
• 
  38

  Did you ever write your disassociation letter?

  by make yourself in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  but never gave it to the elders or anyone in the congregation?

  .

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  confusedandalone

  Also Op from previous posts it seems you have no close family in ... which is great.

  How old are you if you don't mind me asking
• 
  38

  Did you ever write your disassociation letter?

  by make yourself in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  but never gave it to the elders or anyone in the congregation?

  .

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  confusedandalone

  Op it's a personal decision. Do what you think is best. Writing a letter is not merely about making a point to them as I am sure you are aware. Many people want no link to that filth. We ther it is a one sentence letter or a 5 page letter to state your desire it's up to you. I wish you the best and remember there are always friends here for you.
• 
  38

  Did you ever write your disassociation letter?

  by make yourself in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  but never gave it to the elders or anyone in the congregation?

  .

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  confusedandalone

  I still don't see why it is considered playing by their rules. No matter how many times someone tries to explain it... I just can't see it. I am not being combatative.

  I just always saw it better to leave when I wanted and let them know then hiding or dodging them until they throw you out. Worse still a fade leaves you theoretically a jw for life.
• 
  38

  Did you ever write your disassociation letter?

  by make yourself in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  but never gave it to the elders or anyone in the congregation?

  .

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  confusedandalone

  Yes ripping off the bandaid and moving on was far more enjoyable for me.
• 
  38

  Did you ever write your disassociation letter?

  by make yourself in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  but never gave it to the elders or anyone in the congregation?

  .

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  confusedandalone

  "What exactly happened after you gave it to them? Did they want to talk to you?"

  They waited about 3 weeks to contact me. Then I recieved a letter in the mail that said to "please sign here". I forgot to sign it. I didn't sign it so they sent another letter. All the while there was very little contact and they would not even contact my wife. Then after a number of months they just read me out as DF'ed and t was over.

  My worst mistake was not simply signing the letter in the first place so that I could have gotten them out of my hair.

  When you play the game of fading they still will try to contact you, annoy your family and this adds extra stress. If you are sure you no longer want to be linked to the organization why play games and fade. When you are ready to leave just leave and get on with your life. Not that I am knocking anyones decisions here, but it is like any organization that you are truly ashamed to be a part of. What would you do?

  1. You would let them know that based on their deplorable actions you no longer want to be a part of that group.

  2, You then write a letter telling them so that it is official and no one can claim you are still a member.

  That process is common in the professional world and anywhere else, so you arent playing anyones game. You are moving on eith your life and letting no mistake be made that you are not linked to those people anymore. I know alot of people here, feel that writing a letter is somehow playing a game or playing by their rules , however I would feel the opposite. If I was a registered member of the KKK and decided I no longer wanted to be would I just stop going or make it more than apparent via cdocumented proof that I was no longer apart of that group.

  Ultimately your choice, one thing I can say is that after it was over - there was no better feeling in the world.

  Best of luck
• 
  38

  Did you ever write your disassociation letter?

  by make yourself in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  but never gave it to the elders or anyone in the congregation?

  .

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  confusedandalone

  I wrote mine... I held on to it for a few days. Then I gathered together the balls to give it to them because I was tired of living the lie.

  However, the few minutes leading up to that moment were very stressful. The relief after it was given to them was amazing
• 
  26

  how long before you felt refreshed and new?

  by losingit in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  waking up from jw-land is an extremely exhausting process.

  about 3 years ago, i attended a month-long institute for grad school students.

  during this time, i was surrounded by people from all over the united states and had active, deep conversations with so many about personal topics, such as religion and divorce.

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• 

  confusedandalone

  LisaRose - http://www.lolcats.com has just changed my world
• 
  26

  how long before you felt refreshed and new?

  by losingit in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  waking up from jw-land is an extremely exhausting process.

  about 3 years ago, i attended a month-long institute for grad school students.

  during this time, i was surrounded by people from all over the united states and had active, deep conversations with so many about personal topics, such as religion and divorce.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  confusedandalone

  losingit the first thing you need to do is go to a doctor and determine if meds are needed. If so, then take them. Do not let crazy old JW reasoning about those sorts of things cause you to make bad decisions. After that learn to just live life. Nothing makes one happier than to not have restraints placed upon them. My favorite thing was to go out on my front porch on what was previously a meeting night and smoke a cigar.

  The simple things.
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  27

  What Are The Best Threads Here On JWN?

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  are there any type of threads that you especially enjoy?

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  are there any specific threads or posters that you look out for?.

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  confusedandalone

  I like experiences