ok, so i have been on this journey for about a year or so.
i feel like i am no longer a part of this whacked out religion, however at the same time after spending so many years in it there have been a huge array of things that have happened to me that i feel i need to talk about.
not because they will help anyone who reads them, not because they are the slightest bit interesting, but because i can no longer keep them bottled up and expect to move on.. alot of things i have experienced hurt me deeply... although i was able to move forward with my life these things tend to hang around in my mind because i have never been able to tell anyone outside of my wife.
"What is it with ex-Bethelites and big boobs anyway?"
I think it is the years of communal showers seeing nothing but anked dudes... we have to go for the exaaaaaaaaaaaaact opposite LOL
" .......and people unfortunately do get hurt because of this. "
Yup... the good thing is that had this not occured I would probably still be shackled to her
ok, so i have been on this journey for about a year or so.
i feel like i am no longer a part of this whacked out religion, however at the same time after spending so many years in it there have been a huge array of things that have happened to me that i feel i need to talk about.
not because they will help anyone who reads them, not because they are the slightest bit interesting, but because i can no longer keep them bottled up and expect to move on.. alot of things i have experienced hurt me deeply... although i was able to move forward with my life these things tend to hang around in my mind because i have never been able to tell anyone outside of my wife.
" The others pick and choose what rules they want to break and never feel bad when they do. The never confess, but if caught they lie like a rug and seldom suffer any consequences." - This is the truest thing I have read in a while. The bad part about it is that for a period as an elder I went extremely tough on women that came in with the sad sob stories... That behavior is something that I feel bad about but I have moved on. Just frther proof that imperfect people have no right to judge others.
" Have I reccommended http://www.thetimeparadox.com/ for you yet? " - you haven't. I will definitely take it for a spin. I have garnered alot more times these days with lack of meetings etc... lol. Subject matters seems strangely appropriate as well.
" This is so true. And only an ex-JW can understand" - Indeed. IU talked to a guy I have become friends with and he said it sounds like you are still bitter with her. The thing is I am not. I am just freaking pissed that I allowed myuself to chicken out from doing what I feel should have been done.
" And here I tought I was naughty getting a handjob at a district convention but you, you got a blowjob just a few hundred yards away from JW Vatican. " - I never really thought of it that way LOL. That evening I kept saying in a prayer "Jehovah I will never do this again I promise..... " then a day or two later I was back at it LOL
" I'd wager that well over 1/2 of the org. is currently doing, or at least have done, something that they should / could have been DF'ed for." - My thoughts exactly... I always felt that somenow he knew I didn't need to be df'ed LOL
" Being naive is a bitch some times." - Yup! Just thank the giant spaghetti monster that Presidents Day shuts shit down
" the blowee, when she, the blower" - that college education is shining through, this mad me laugh very hardily lol
ok, so i have been on this journey for about a year or so.
i feel like i am no longer a part of this whacked out religion, however at the same time after spending so many years in it there have been a huge array of things that have happened to me that i feel i need to talk about.
not because they will help anyone who reads them, not because they are the slightest bit interesting, but because i can no longer keep them bottled up and expect to move on.. alot of things i have experienced hurt me deeply... although i was able to move forward with my life these things tend to hang around in my mind because i have never been able to tell anyone outside of my wife.
" Don't be too hard on yourself... And you know what, it isn't only the young males, let me amend that!" -I dont think I am still mad about what she did. More mad that I never did anything about it and let her get away with it without telling someone the TRUTH.
" Since this evil snake is at Bethel," - SHe is no longer at Bethel.. Her and her husband are actually back in the territory in NJ i was in befopre I got married and moved away. I am sure however she is either still evil and snotty or hopefully settling down caused her to change. I would hope
ok, so i have been on this journey for about a year or so.
i feel like i am no longer a part of this whacked out religion, however at the same time after spending so many years in it there have been a huge array of things that have happened to me that i feel i need to talk about.
not because they will help anyone who reads them, not because they are the slightest bit interesting, but because i can no longer keep them bottled up and expect to move on.. alot of things i have experienced hurt me deeply... although i was able to move forward with my life these things tend to hang around in my mind because i have never been able to tell anyone outside of my wife.
" My husband said yesterday that the worse "sluts" he'd ever met were at the KH"
It is as if they are packing all of the fun stuff in before they get married LOL... then they become prudes.
ok, so i have been on this journey for about a year or so.
i feel like i am no longer a part of this whacked out religion, however at the same time after spending so many years in it there have been a huge array of things that have happened to me that i feel i need to talk about.
not because they will help anyone who reads them, not because they are the slightest bit interesting, but because i can no longer keep them bottled up and expect to move on.. alot of things i have experienced hurt me deeply... although i was able to move forward with my life these things tend to hang around in my mind because i have never been able to tell anyone outside of my wife.
"I feel bad for you--but I think you were more sane than not in your reactions--normal. Maybe they laid the screws to her (!!!!)enough--because she sounds less so. Poor girl."
I may have reacted normal... but it left me feeling like such a punk... I guess you are right though, at that age there is so much confusion in life that standing firm on anything can be difficult.
ok, so i have been on this journey for about a year or so.
i feel like i am no longer a part of this whacked out religion, however at the same time after spending so many years in it there have been a huge array of things that have happened to me that i feel i need to talk about.
not because they will help anyone who reads them, not because they are the slightest bit interesting, but because i can no longer keep them bottled up and expect to move on.. alot of things i have experienced hurt me deeply... although i was able to move forward with my life these things tend to hang around in my mind because i have never been able to tell anyone outside of my wife.
I do appreciate it BU2B...
THe thing is I feel like these few expewriences that I have been holding on to need to get out of me so I can complete my exit. I feeeel like I am out but these things still come to my mind because I never voiced them. Unfortunately my vomiting will continue for a smidge LOL
ok, so i have been on this journey for about a year or so.
i feel like i am no longer a part of this whacked out religion, however at the same time after spending so many years in it there have been a huge array of things that have happened to me that i feel i need to talk about.
not because they will help anyone who reads them, not because they are the slightest bit interesting, but because i can no longer keep them bottled up and expect to move on.. alot of things i have experienced hurt me deeply... although i was able to move forward with my life these things tend to hang around in my mind because i have never been able to tell anyone outside of my wife.
" Sister Slutface and her luxury apartment at NY HQ of the WTBTS."
ROFL this is a quote that I will treasure
a lot of you know my story and my issue with whether to da, fade, fight , go to the jc meeting ect.
and a lot of you have tried to help me on advise of what to do and finally i decided to da myself and some of you thought this was a bad idea.. well the plot thinkens abit as i now have it of very good bethel soures authority, that back several months ago when i sent in to headquarters a 13 page letter asking for clarification on the subjects of the new covenant and mediator as i showed in the letter that via the bible their understanding was crap.. this letter and my actions of sending it sealed my fate.
that according to my sources, instructions were most likley sent to my body of elders or atleast one to get rid of me as a i was a troublemaker.
" Jehovah's pure and fine organization at work."
Yup... feel no shame in leaving this steaming pile of crap. Hold your head up high and give them alllll the finger.
I am proud you stood up for yourself and didn't let them walk over you. I hope you r family is with you and that all goes well with you and yours!!!
ok, so i have been on this journey for about a year or so.
i feel like i am no longer a part of this whacked out religion, however at the same time after spending so many years in it there have been a huge array of things that have happened to me that i feel i need to talk about.
not because they will help anyone who reads them, not because they are the slightest bit interesting, but because i can no longer keep them bottled up and expect to move on.. alot of things i have experienced hurt me deeply... although i was able to move forward with my life these things tend to hang around in my mind because i have never been able to tell anyone outside of my wife.
"Wow!!! So she got away with sayig it was all on you!!!
CAA, the liars are the ones that thrive in the Borg and push down the honest and kind ones. "
Indeed she did. I had an awful stigma placed upon me that lasted for quite some time. WHile she continued with the rosey image and proceeded to serve at the World Headquarters... LOL
You gotta love how these things work
ok, so i have been on this journey for about a year or so.
i feel like i am no longer a part of this whacked out religion, however at the same time after spending so many years in it there have been a huge array of things that have happened to me that i feel i need to talk about.
not because they will help anyone who reads them, not because they are the slightest bit interesting, but because i can no longer keep them bottled up and expect to move on.. alot of things i have experienced hurt me deeply... although i was able to move forward with my life these things tend to hang around in my mind because i have never been able to tell anyone outside of my wife.
Chapter 2: IT ONLY GETS WORSE
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So the next week one of the elders who handled my case told his wife the sordid details. She told people that for months I had been engaged in practices that were disgusting. It spread. My mom found out and she went ballistic. My brother was on the elder body as well and was already upset i didn't come to him first. I found out from my elder friend that he demanded to know what I did. His outbursts had gotten so bad that the elders had the C.O. talk to him and convince him to stop his probing. When he found out what had been going on he now went on a tirade trying to somehow get me disfellowshipped... yes my own brother.
What is even wooorse is that he told my father who was also an elder that if I was allowed to stay in his home that he would no longer qualify as an elder and my mopther would not qualify as a pioneer.... did I also mention that my brother was the manager of the company I worked for??? So he said he knew he could not fire me, buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut he had employed over 20+ witnesses and he let them know that I was on public reproof. So at work no one would talk to me except my worldly supervisor and the few other worldl;y people there. My father spoke to the C.O. and he said they would not be removed from their positions so they allowed me to stay. However, I now had a curfew... yes a man in his 20's had a curfew. I worked a 3rd shift job from 12 to 8 at this point... so I had to be home by 9 in the morning and could not leave unless it was for a meeting or service. TALK ABOUT CRAZY. My suprevisor offered to let me move into his basement and 2 girls I worked with needed a roomy. I was 2 weeks away from doing it but I lost all courage and continued. I did however enroll in school (My parents refuse to sign paperwork for tution and grants so I had to work yet another job to do this).
I was suffering I was washed up. Yet, the slore that left me out to dry was PIONEERING AGAIN. SHE WAS DATING A BROTHER AT BETHEL! I finished my schooling got an amazing job met my current wife and life changed greatly. However she married this brother and went to BETHEL. Many people I knew that knew I was dating her asked her about our situation. Somee people toldme that she hinted I was the aggressor and PUT HER IN SITUATIONS that were not appropriate. This lead many people to put me in a category that no man wants to be put into... but hey you gotta preserve your own image right. My wife caught wind of it and this lovely woman just brushed it of and never let the lies bother her. (I LOVE THIS WOMAN MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF )
Well one day years later I was at Bethel on a tour... who do I run into??? You guessed it. This bitch acted as if she had no idea who I was. I wanted to say, "Should I pull down my pants??? I am sure you will recognize that" but I just laughed audibly to let her know that I knew what she thought I knew. THAT WAS ONE OF MY BIGGEST REGRETS IN LIFE. I still think I whould have made a stink.
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Thanks I had to get that out!!! Ther eare many more details that I would have shared but they are not pertinent to the story. The thing is I had to tell someone this because honestly no one really gets it and no one really gets mad like I do. Even my wife said, "Just let bygones be bygones. SHe was a fucking bitch... she will get hers" I am sure she is right. It just sucks that no one knows how low she was. Typing this out is soothing. I thank you for letting me.
I am going to spend some time writing stuff out on here and just letting off the steam.
