Hey everyone!
First of all, I'm not a JW, in fact I'm an atheist, or if you really want to be technical about it I'm probably something like an agnostic atheist or something.
But, my girlfriend is a JW, she seems very rational about it though, it seems to me that she believes in a lot of it but not exactly all, for instance she does understands and believes in the scientific age of the earth and evolution.
When we started dating almost a year ago she made it clear she as religious person. I never saw that as a problem, it's not like I'm trying to convert her or she's trying to convert me. Yet, soon after she raised a barrier in our relationship, her mother could not know she dated me. I obviously thought it was strange and even after meeting with her mother (as a friend) she didn't strike me as someone who would raise any problems because of me. I asked her about it from time to time about why not telling her or what the problem was, yet she would avoid the subject and gave very vague responses, she wasn't living with her mother at the time so I didn't insist and gave her time. I knew something was off but I could really get the gist of it.
Fast forward to today and she is now living with her mother again and because she doesn't want to raise suspicion about us our relationship as been affected by it. I kept digging and I finally found out why (not from her), the truth is, I didn't know much about the JW religion and I think she never told me everything for the fear of losing me. Her mother is also a JW and very "into it", she is afraid of losing all contact from her and even kicking her out of home. This is because she knows that if she tells her mother about me her mother will definitely inform her congregation and ask for her disassociation. I read something online about "fading" away from the religion to avoid all the shunning and stupid behavior but she can't because of her mother.
You see, I was oblivious to the whole disassociation thing and I even feel a bit cheated because she never told me about it, at the same time I understand her fear. I don't know if her mother could possibly kick her out of the house but after what I've been reading online about it everything seems possible. I love this girl but I don't know what to do or what to recommend to her. We are always in this state of hiding from her mother and not only it's affecting the time we spend together but also now she started giving me these petty little lies about why she can't be with me to avoid discussing about her mother.
I have a job and live by myself, she is still starting with that part, she doesn't know when she'll be financially independent.
What do you think about the situation? Do you know of cases where people got kicked out of their home because of disassociation? What would you do in my situation or in hers?
