Here's the problematic part for him:
CRIMINAL OFFENSES AGAINST HONOR AND REPUTATION
And I only partly mean it in jest. If you've already admitted to repeatedly cheating on your spouse with whores (sorry, 20+ year-old untrafficked sex workers and girlfriends) and the web is replete with examples of your dodgy behavior and bad manners, it's difficult to come up with something bad enough to constitute a mark against your honor and reputation.
God, imagine being the lawyer researching his case, and realizing that the only reasons you will file it is because (A)none of the defendants will show up, (B)your client won't be cross-examined, and (C)he's paying you to go through with it.* I'm thinking the odds are pretty good that this will feed the office gossip mill for years to come.
*At least I'm assuming he's paying. You never know...