Third is, what do i say when he askes what is the difference if i was a different religion?
It's really up to the two people involved. Also, there is a HUGE difference between an ex-Jw and JW being married and a JW and "unbeliever" being married.
My ex and I were both raised as diehard JWs. When I decided to step down as an elder, leave the Watchtower and start investingating other religions, she thought (and treated me) like Judas. What bothered me was she was doing what the WT instructed her to do. It wasn't a "personality trait" she could adjust. She view me as an "evil apostate", someone who God hated and would soon destroy. How could you live with someone like that?
We both had valid points. She married a JW and that's the life she wanted. I no longer believed in the JW religion and thought little of those who in that religion. Looking back, we were both pretty stubborn. We each did "childish" things. She snitched on me (told the elders I had joined the Y, had "apostate" lit. etc,), she told the kids not to pray with me. I, of course, told the kids how wrong the JW's are and how wacking their beliefs were. It's kind of odd, other then religion, we didn't have any differences. So I have to say, religious differences is usually not a big problem in today's marriages unless it's a religion like JW, Judiasm, Mormon, etc. Anyway, she saw a lawyer and filed for divorce. That was almost 4 years ago. Wow.
Ironicly, she's really, REALLY lightened up as a JW. Attends the meetings but isn't as zealous in the door to door work. I also, have lightened up. I don't see a need to teach the kids "anti-JW" stuff. Instead we attend church and I'll leave it up to them to choose. We'll never get back together....waaaaaaay beyond point but for the last 3 years we've gotten along just fine. It does get easier with time.
I do believe my ex and I made the right decision. She couldn't live in a house where Christmas is celibrated, where "worldly" people come to visit and religion is a minor topic. On the other hand, I couldn't live in a house with WT magazines all over the place, elder visits and having the speaker over for lunch (gag!). But before you throw your marriage away, really, REALLY take a close look at everything. Think about the long term impact on both your lives and the lives of any children involved. Our two kids were a very important issue. That's why she bought a house two streets away. While it's "weird" for the two of us to live so close together, it is good for the kids.