NewChapter & Grandma Jones are the only ones with accurate information. Your husband it totally wrong. Tell him to keep up with what the WT says. (Don't you hate people that are so blatantly opinionated and don't know what the hell they are talking about?) It is a conscience matter to go to a church wedding, just don not participate in a Mass or religious rite. It's not wrong and you do not have to be repentant about anything. You don't need the elders' manual........see the following WT article:
WT 10/15/2007 pg 27-29 -- 10 There are many families in which one mate has become a Christian but the other mate has not. (1 Peter 3:1; 4:3) This may present various challenges, such as when there is a wedding or a funeral of a relative. Imagine the case of a Christian wife whose husband does not yet share her faith. One of his relatives is getting married, and the ceremony will be in a church of Christendom. (Or a relative, maybe a parent, has died, and the funeral will be in a church.) The couple are invited, and he wants his wife to accompany him. What does her conscience say about attending? What will she do? Imagine these two possibilities.
11 Lois reflects on the serious Bible command, ‘Get out of Babylon the Great,’ the world empire of false religion. (Revelation 18:2, 4) She once belonged to the church where the wedding is to take place and knows that during the ceremony all present will be asked to share in religious acts, such as prayer, singing, or religious gestures. She is determined to have no part in that and does not want even to be there and be under pressure to break her integrity. Lois respects her husband and wants to cooperate with him, her Scriptural head; yet, she does not want to compromise her Scriptural principles. (Acts 5:29) Hence, she tactfully explains to her mate that even if he chooses to be there, she personally cannot. She may mention that if she attended and refused to share in some act, it might cause him embarrassment, so in that sense her not attending might be best for him. Her decision leaves her with a clear conscience.
12 Ruth faces virtually the same dilemma. She respects her husband, is resolved to be loyal to God, and is responsive to her Bible-trained conscience. After thinking about points such as the ones Lois considered, Ruth prayerfully consults “Questions From Readers” in The Watchtower of May 15, 2002. She remembers that the three Hebrews complied with a command to be where idolatry would occur, yet they kept their integrity by not sharing in an idolatrous act. (Daniel 3:15-18) She decides to accompany her husband but not to share in any religious deeds, and she is acting in harmony with her conscience. She tactfully but clearly explains to her husband what her conscience will permit her to do and what she cannot do. Ruth hopes that he will see the difference between true worship and false.—Acts 24:16.
If you are going against your husband's wishes (headship issue), that may be another matter, but feeling obligated to go to a family wedding/funeral in a church is NOT a disfellowshipping offense.
