I understand the pain and anger we all feel about the WTS and its disfellowshipping policies. Before anyone rushes to court to sue, please keep this in mind. While a lawsuit might find success in some lands, it is doomed before it is even filed in the United States. That is because the WTS enjoys the freedoms guaranteed by the First Amendment to the American Constitution. We Americans must remember this.
Now, the WTS has been forced through court action to modify the wording of statements reflecting any disciplinary action. Those have been modified down through the years. Thus, it can no longer be said that someone is being publicly reproved for 'conduct unbecoming a Christian'. And we have seen now that a person is no longer "disfellowshipped" but instead "is no longer one of Jehovah's Witnesses." Those changes reflect lawsuits that were brought against the WTS on issues like defamation of character.
Shunning, however, is an entirely different matter. No American court, not even the Supreme Court, can tell a religion how to run its internal affairs, or who can qualify for membership, or what disciplinary action a religion can take against wayward or dissident members. That would be a clear violation of the First Amendment, and American courts have in the past refused to issue any rulings on disfellowshipping per se.
The harm, pain, and damage the WTS has inflicted upon all with its intolerable and definitely unchristian actions in this matter speak for themselves. Most of us in this forum know this first hand. If there is nothing legal we can do what action can we take? Each one must determine in his own heart what course to pursue. For myself, I decided that I had to look upon my former associates as though they had died. Yes, I mourned. I certainly grieved. Some I have left behind were dearer to me than fleshly family. But I cannot bring them back and resume our relationship. That will only happen if they decide to do so for themselves. I cannot force them to love me, and even if I could such love would be worthless.
Many years ago, the best friend I ever had and loved committed suicide. I still miss him and always will. He was a Witness, which made his death all the more difficult for me to accept. Still, I eventually learned that my life would only improve if I sought new friendships and worked hard to maintain the ones I still had. My friends, there are many people who want to get to know us and love us. Let us seek them out so that we all can be enriched. And by all means, let us take this matter to our Heavenly Father in prayer. The Bible calls him the God of all comfort and he can assuage us of our pain and loss. (2 Cor.1:3, 4) Surely our Heavenly Father wants to help us endure this trial and will strengthen us to do so.
As for the WTS, we also want to keep this in mind. An old biblical principle still applies with respect to their harsh and merciless attitude: they will surely reap what they have sown as Galatians 6:7 says. We can rest assured of that. Whether we individually will see it is an open question, but we need not waste our time and energy hating this organization, not when there are so many other people who need our love and assistance. If we focus on the good we can do instead of the evils that have been done to us, we will surely reap a rich reward.