Posts by headisspinning

for the first year she cut us off too but then after a while she seemed to realize how horrible it was and she opened up to us.. well, she is very easily influenced by the family and so she cut us off again.

she tried to feed me the line about it being for our own good blah, blah, blah.. here is an excerpt from how i replied:.

headisspinning

He doesn't want to force the kids which is what it would come down to at this point. They have been manipulated and influenced by their mother and my husband is afraid if he pushes them he will lose them entirely. Just two weeks ago he flew back to see them and his 10 year old daughter refused to see him.

He gave his ex everything and pays a ton of support - both for the kids and spousal too. She essentially blackmailed him into signing the divorce agreement.

I would like to see him get a lawyer but he is reluctant to play hardball because it might further alienate him from the children which would destroy him.

It's just a horrible situation.

41

The Loving Disfellowshipping Arrangement

by headisspinning in

my youngest sister is the only person in my jw family who has had any real contact with my husband and i and our baby.

for the first year she cut us off too but then after a while she seemed to realize how horrible it was and she opened up to us.. well, she is very easily influenced by the family and so she cut us off again.

she tried to feed me the line about it being for our own good blah, blah, blah.. here is an excerpt from how i replied:.

headisspinning

Hey Loz, because we are disfellowshipped the children have decided to live with their JW parents. At least mine will come and stay with us now. But his kids refuse to even acknowledge their baby brother and won't even consider visiting. If he wants to see them he has to fly there and see them at his ex-wife's house. It's so crazy. She won't even leave the house while he's there which is just ridiculous.

41

The Loving Disfellowshipping Arrangement

by headisspinning in

my youngest sister is the only person in my jw family who has had any real contact with my husband and i and our baby.

for the first year she cut us off too but then after a while she seemed to realize how horrible it was and she opened up to us.. well, she is very easily influenced by the family and so she cut us off again.

she tried to feed me the line about it being for our own good blah, blah, blah.. here is an excerpt from how i replied:.

headisspinning

Our kids are young teenagers and the girls are only 9 and 10... I can deal with them cutting us off down the road... but I think it would be very damaging to everyone for them to lose use at this stage.

41

The Loving Disfellowshipping Arrangement

by headisspinning in

my youngest sister is the only person in my jw family who has had any real contact with my husband and i and our baby.

for the first year she cut us off too but then after a while she seemed to realize how horrible it was and she opened up to us.. well, she is very easily influenced by the family and so she cut us off again.

she tried to feed me the line about it being for our own good blah, blah, blah.. here is an excerpt from how i replied:.

headisspinning

Loz... thanks to you too. It is really helpful to know that we are not alone in what we've experienced.

I'm not holding my breath about getting a response from the elders. It has already been several weeks. I specifically asked them to at the very least acknowledge that they did indeed receive the letter but nothing. Not a word. I guess we aren't even worthy of common courtesy. (And this is actually the third letter I've written - but only the first got a response because we came right out and asked to be reinstated).

At this point, we are thinking about just buckling down and fighting our way back just so the cursed lable of 'disfellowshipped' is lifted. We are very worried about the kids getting baptized now that there is a big push on and then have them cut us out of their lives. Then after that... fading is looking pretty enticing right about now...

41

The Loving Disfellowshipping Arrangement

by headisspinning in

my youngest sister is the only person in my jw family who has had any real contact with my husband and i and our baby.

for the first year she cut us off too but then after a while she seemed to realize how horrible it was and she opened up to us.. well, she is very easily influenced by the family and so she cut us off again.

she tried to feed me the line about it being for our own good blah, blah, blah.. here is an excerpt from how i replied:.

headisspinning

Thank you Tammy. I hope that maybe it will make her think. I think she is just so controlled by my family and she doesn't have the strength to stand up to them and it's too hard playing both sides.

I might write to her again but I'm kind of laying low for the time being - I know that when she gets fed up with everyone trying to control her she will reach out again because she always does.

It's just too bad because I have become hardened by being hurt over and over again and that's a real shame.

41

The Loving Disfellowshipping Arrangement

by headisspinning in

my youngest sister is the only person in my jw family who has had any real contact with my husband and i and our baby.

for the first year she cut us off too but then after a while she seemed to realize how horrible it was and she opened up to us.. well, she is very easily influenced by the family and so she cut us off again.

she tried to feed me the line about it being for our own good blah, blah, blah.. here is an excerpt from how i replied:.

headisspinning

My youngest sister is the only person in my JW family who has had any real contact with my husband and I and our baby. For the first year she cut us off too but then after a while she seemed to realize how horrible it was and she opened up to us.

Well, she is very easily influenced by the family and so she cut us off again. She tried to feed me the line about it being for our own good blah, blah, blah.

Here is an excerpt from how I replied:

"About the Truth, as I told you, we just wrote another letter to the elders. I tried to explain to them again the situation we're in and how horrible we're feeling. I had been praying and praying and finally realized that I needed to try to reach out to them again. I pretty much just asked for any help or encouragement they could give us. I explained about XXXX's anxiety and I'm just hoping it won't fall on deaf ears. I told them how discouraged we are. I keep thinking about the prodigal son. Do your remember the part where it says that while she son was still at a distance the father ordered a big feast to be prepared in celebration of his return? His son wasn't even back yet and that's how his father responded. So, I just don't understand why we can't be reinstated. I don't understand why we may have to wait 'years and years'. I don't know where it says that in the Bible. I really don't. All I know is that the longer we are left in this limbo, the more despairing we feel. We have both been through hell in our lives. For none of that to be taken into consideration, for it all to come down to this one sin and that's just it for us.... how can that be? And for us to get reinstated the bar is higher than it is for an average publisher. We would have to be exemplary - be at all the meetings, be visibly prepared for all the meetings and have a full spiritual routine. How are we supposed to do all of that with no support and no encouragement? That is difficult for someone who is spiritually active and part of the congregation. Just try to think about it in practical terms and tell me how likely or even possible it is for someone in our situation to pull all of that together. So what? Does that mean we're just done for and going to die at Armageddon? Again, where does it say all of that in the Bible as a prerequisite for reinstatement. I thought it was about being repentant. If my WT is underlined does that really mean anything at all? I will tell you right now that it doesn't because when I go to the meeting I quickly underline my magazine and then I do XXX's just so it looks like I studied. Does that even sound like me? No. But I don't know what else to do. As far as family distancing themselves, I can tell you right now that in the majority of cases, the only thing that does is motivate people to come back in the Truth for the wrong reasons. I know for me, at the beginning, I wanted to come back because I just wanted to be in the Truth. But now, it's just been reduced to wanting to come back because I just want my life back. That has become such a huge issue I can't even see anything else. It overrides any good intentions I may have had because how we've been treated and what we've gone through has been so brutal. Do you understand what I'm saying? Taking away a person's entire life and support system to 'encourage' them to come back.... it's just such a terrible thing to go through, that as mere humans, it's just so easy to lose focus and get desperate. So, no, I do not think that having family distance themselves is productive and I am speaking from experience."

My sister didn't reply for a while and when she finally did she said she considered what I said and said "Okay. Well, maybe it's not for your own good - but for my own good - I have to do things Jehovah's way." And that was it. PS. I'm wondering if maybe she read the article on Disfellowshipping in the recent magazine?

29

The Great Tribulation May Have Started

by headisspinning in

my ex husband who is a jw just sent me this:.

"the world is on the precipice of a major multifaceted crisis.

the great tribulation may have just started.. .

headisspinning

I copy/pasted what Yesidid posted above from Revelation Climax book and emailed it to him... he didn't reply. LOL!

49

Music you never get tired of listening to

by TD in

.

for me it's scott joplin.

.

headisspinning

Well, I have two songs and I chose them because they both mean a lot to my husband and I in regard to what's happened in our lives - I guess they are what we think of as words to live by... very meaningful.

They are:

If Today Was Your Last Day by Nickleback

and

Lost Together by Blue Rodeo

Lyrics are as follows:

If Today Was Your Last Day lyrics
Songwriters: Kroeger, Chad;

My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each day's a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less traveled by
That first step you take is the longest stride

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had, if today was your last day?
What if, what if, if today was your last day?

Against the grain should be a way of life
What's worth the price is always worth the fight
Every second counts 'cause there's no second try
So live like you're never living twice
Don't take the free ride in your own life

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had?

And would you call those friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories?
( From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/n/nickelback-lyrics/if-today-was-your-last-day-lyrics.html )
Would you forgive your enemies?
And would you find that one you're dreaming of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you'd finally fall in love if today was your last day?

If today was your last day
Would you make your mark by mending a broken heart?
You know it's never too late to shoot for the stars
Regardless of who you are

So do whatever it takes
'Cause you can't rewind a moment in this life
Let nothing stand in your way
'Cause the hands of time are never on your side

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had?

And would you call those friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories?
Would you forgive your enemies?
And would you find that one you're dreaming of
Swear up and down to God above
That you'd finally fall in love if today was your last day?

© ARM YOUR DILLO PUBLISHING INC; WARNER-TAMERLANE PUBLISHING CORP;

LOST TOGETHER: BLUE RODEO

Strange and beautiful
are the stars tonight
that dance around your head
in your eyes I see that perfect world
I hope that doesn't sound too weird
And I want all the world to know
that your love's all I need
all that I need
and if we're lost
then we are lost together
yea if we're lost
then we are lost together
I stand before this faceless crowd
and I wonder why I bother
so much controlled by so few
stumbling from one disaster to another
I've heard it all so many times before
it's all a dream to me now
a dream to me now
And if we're lost
then we are lost together
yea if we're lost
then we are lost together
In this silence of this whispered night
I listen only to your breath
and that second of a shooting star
somehow it all makes sense
And I want all the world to know
that your love's all I need
all that I need
and if we're lost
then we are lost together
yea if we're lost
then we are lost together