headisspinning

Joined

• started 81 topics
• posted 426 times   see topics posted on
• send a message

Posts by headisspinning

• 
  47

  A lightning fast POLL: Two questions about CONVERSION

  by Terry in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  1. were you yourself converted from a religion other than jw to becoming a jw by door to door work?.

  2.did you succeed in converting somebody in your own door to door work causing them to change religions to the point of baptism?.

  quick answers, please.. .

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  headisspinning

  1. no

  2. no
• 
  38

  Do you get hassled for posting here frequently?

  by sabastious in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  most people in my life that know how frequent i post on this forum find it very troubling.

  i have often been accused of "not being able to let go.

  " i don't agree that i post here because i'm not willing to let go, i think i post here because i think this place helps other people and i want to be part of it.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  headisspinning

  I just read information on Cults on JWFacts and I found this information interesting - notice the part in bold:

  For those that do leave Michael Langone, Ph.D., of the American Family Foundation (AFF), lists symptoms suffered by up to 80% of former members of high control groups. 11

  • Anxiety, fear, and worry
  • Feelings of anger toward the group leaders
  • Mental confusion
  • Vivid flashbacks to the group experience
  • Low self-confidence
  • Indecisiveness
  • Difficulty concentrating
  • Loneliness
  • Compulsive need to talk about the group
  • Despair, hopelessness, and helplessness
  • Difficulty thinking critically
  • Guilt about things done while in the group
  • Troubled by thoughts that can't be gotten rid of
  • "Floating" among very different states of mind
  • Conflicts with loved ones & family
  • A longing to restore certain aspects of group
  • Sleeplessness
  • Nightmares
  • Difficulty finding suitable employment
  • Fear of physical harm by the group
  • Medical ills

  I think that it's not that you 'can't let go'... it's just a symptom of what you've gone through.

  I hope that helps.
• 
  7

  Black and White Thinking

  by headisspinning in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  black and white thinking is incredibly dangerous.

  it is actually one of the diagnostics for borderline personality disorder.

  identity issues are also an earmark... .

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  headisspinning

  I learned through therapy that the way we think - our thoughts - drive our emotions. When we see things in black and white - when our thinking is extremely judgmental - that fuels very intense emotions. For someone like me who is already emotionally sensitive, this has proven to be very dangerous for me.

  Another thing I've noticed is that I have never felt that I have a true moral compass. I have tried to live by a set of 'rules' that I was not allowed to question or modify. I have not been allowed to figure out what is right for me...

  I found this list on JWFacts and it shows some of the issues that cult victims struggle with. It explains it all a little better. I bolded the parts that really resonated with me:

  • 1. Identity Issues. The child's identity is "imposed" by the group resulting in being developmentally delayed emotionally. Young adults who leave destructive groups frequently attempt to regain their childhood.
    2. Ethical Issues. There was no real opportunity to determine a personal belief system so often the person has no moral compass or internal boundaries. Typically, the ethical framework was built on a religious worldview that has been abandoned. Thus, the person often gets involved in circumstances not healthy for them.
    3. Social Identity/Isolation Issues. It is often very difficult to identify with peers and to trust which can result in loneliness and isolation.
    4. Emotional/ Psychological Issues. The person frequently feels intense guilt and fear. The group has told them that to leave is to invite God's wrath and that the world is a scary place. T intense anger at the group for "ruining" their life and family, or they may be angry at God for "allowing" this to happen to them.
    5. Social /Cultural Issues. Destructive groups create their own culture ( practices, rituals, music, dietary "laws", ways of worship, etc.) and worldview.
    6. Education Issues. Education is usually woefully deficient. (To be fair, Witness children receive a good base education but are advised against free thinking and advanced education)
    7. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Issues.

  The other section that really struck a chord with me was...

  Loaded Language. A new vocabulary emerges within the context of the group. Group members "think" within the very abstract and narrow parameters of the group's doctrine. The terminology sufficiently stops members from thinking critically by reinforcing a "black and white" mentality. Loaded terms and clichés prejudice thinking ('the truth', 'new system', 'worldly people', 'disfellowship' 'Jehovah's Organization', 'RV's', 'door to door' and 'theocratic')

  For me, I think the diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder was from a combination of things: biologically, I am wired to be more emotionally sensitive than the average person. That's just how I was built. But then add in an invalidating environment with an emotionally and physically abusive parent, an equally damaging marriage and then the guilt and control of the religion and voila!

  For those of you reading this - I am including below the criteria used for determining Borderline Personality Disorder.

  OH and the good news is that after three years of therapy, I am considered 'recovered'. I no longer fit the criteria. I do still have an impulsive side to my nature and I have down days. But I am no longer in danger. Dialectic Behavioural Therapy made all the difference to me.

  The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition (American Psychiatric Association, 1994, pg. 654) describes Borderline Personality Disorder as a pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image, and affects, and marked impulsivity beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

  • frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment;

  • a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation;

  • identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self;

  • impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating);

  • recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior;

  • affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days);

  • chronic feelings of emptiness;

  • inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights);

  • transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms.
• 
  7

  Black and White Thinking

  by headisspinning in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  black and white thinking is incredibly dangerous.

  it is actually one of the diagnostics for borderline personality disorder.

  identity issues are also an earmark... .

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  headisspinning

  Black and white thinking is incredibly dangerous. It is actually one of the diagnostics for Borderline Personality Disorder.

  Identity issues are also an earmark...

  I am bringing this up because I have been in intensive therapy for three years now...

  I blamed my abusive upbringing for a long time but I'm starting to see where the religion comes into play here.

  Having had a religion dictate who I am ... who I was... no wonder I didn't know who "I" really was.

  In my therapy I have learned to see the 'shades of grey". i can't begin to describe how liberating that has been.

  And the guilt? It has destroyed me. I have the uncountable cuts in my arms to attest to that.

  I learned through Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (which was created for Borderline Personality Disorder) that this black and white thinking is highly damaging. Seeing things 'in shades of grey' and not being judgmental is that key. I have learned how valuable this is.

  I will tell you more... but my baby needs me...

  More to come....
• 
  4

  Wine Is the Answer

  by headisspinning in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i am drunk.... today was the day that i realized that i was brainwashed by a cult.. my husband knows it too.

  we don't know what to do or where to turn.. at this point, i think drinking wine is the answer.. i really respect barbara anderson and frank kavelin and 'living the dream' (whoever that is).. i am from *********.

  i spent 10 years in *****.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  headisspinning

  I am drunk...

  Today was the day that I realized that I was brainwashed by a cult.

  My husband knows it too.

  We don't know what to do or where to turn.

  At this point, I think drinking wine is the answer.

  I really respect Barbara Anderson and Frank Kavelin and 'Living the dream' (whoever that is).

  I am from *********. I spent 10 years in *****. Now I am in *****.

  I am imagining that many Canadians from ***** or the ***** area know my husband.

  Personal info edited by request - Lady Lee
• 
  16

  Should Youths Get Baptized?

  by xcellxior in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  have a look at the pictures of this youth.

  doesn't look like his voice has even broken.. first article in the "study" edition.. http://download.jw.org/files/media_magazines/w_e_20110615.pdf.

  "does reading the bible and studying the.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  headisspinning

  What really troubled me was the example of the sister who didn't want her kids to get baptized too young. She realized that if they were to get in trouble and be disfellowshipped they would lose their entire family.

  Her concerns were 'cleverly' countered but stating that no matter what - baptized or not - those children were accountable to Jehovah.

  Whether that's the case or not is not what that sister was worried about - she was afraid of losing her children if they were rushed into baptism and ended up getting disfellowshipped.

  What's the rush? I don't get it. These are peoples lives... lives that are destroyed through the harsh treatment of disfellowshipping. Not something to be viewed lightly.

  And the whole 'baptism is a protection' line really gets to me too.
• 
  13

  SOMETHING TO PONDER...

  by Quentin in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  "i always appreciate your encouragement..."...if we band of brothers, who spent most of our lives being controled by an unloving cult, don't encourge one another, who will?

  i do my best to live by "thelaw of the good samaritain".

  you don't step around a body lying in a ditch.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  headisspinning

  The good Samaritan thing is really something to think about... I suffered from depression for years and I really did feel like 'a body stepped around in a ditch'. There was just one Circuit Overseer who was kind to me. He just about broke my heart with his kindness, but it turned out his own daughter suffered from depression and had even attempted suicide... other than that, NADA. My depression was viewed as a spiritual problem and that was that.
• 
  13

  WTF???

  by headisspinning in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  http://www.seanet.com/~raines/review.html.

  the society at the time believed that some demons or fallen angels were honest and could be saved and return to god's organization.

  [6] angels and women, they believed, was channeled or "dictated" to the author by one such fallen angel who was honest and told the truth about pre-flood conditions on earth.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  headisspinning

  http://www.seanet.com/~raines/review.html

  The Society at the time believed that some demons or fallen angels were honest and could be saved and return to God's organization. [6] Angels and Women, they believed, was channeled or "dictated" to the author by one such fallen angel who was honest and told the truth about pre-flood conditions on earth.
• 
  25

  My Story....Long and Im sorry

  by itsbeenalongtime in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  ok...so this is my story.. i'm not sure why i have to post this..maybe more for myself than others.... .

  back 2002 i had a my daughter.

  i was 18. her father was was pretty much an awful mate and never worked....the same old story.... anyway a long story short we ended up moving in with his aunt, who at the time, was a sister.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  headisspinning

  Carla you have a PM
• 
  20

  Ambien vs Temazepam

  by ssn587 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  friend of mine out west told me his spouse has been having trouble staying asleep with ambien and now she has been prescribed temazepam which they said would make her sleep better and longer.

  has anyone out here had those and what is the difference, and do you knjow if the temazepam really works or not?.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  headisspinning

  I had a very bad experience with Temazepam. If you have depression do not drink alcohol if you are taking this drug. Or at least be very careful. It can increase impulsiveness issues as well.

  My doctor prescribed me Trazadone for insomnia issues. It worked really well. It is actually an old anti-depressant but works better for sleep issues (Since you have to take about 600 mgs to treat depression - and you'd be asleep before it works!)