Curtains

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Posts by Curtains

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  43

  Mixed marriages - JW/non-JW - what makes you stay?

  by Nickolas in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i know a woman, became a wife .

  these are the very words she uses to describe her life .

  she said a good day, ain't got no rain .

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  Curtains

  nickolas

  in thinking about the hypothetical situation you describe concerning turning to alcoholism to self medicate when one's spouse is a JW - I have a further thought and these question apply to men and women who may turn to alcohol to self medicate

  Is your JW spouse aware that you are self medicating?

  If they are aware then in their limited JW perspective wouldn't this indicate to them that they need to stay where they are? If this is the case it may be worth suggesting that they attend a group for families of alcoholics. This latter would perhaps help them to see that there are other solutions, other ways to gain perspective and other means of support. However the self medicating spouse may need to attend one of these groups (in addition to attending an AA group) so that they can promote the merits of it.

  JWism imo in this context can be seen as paramountly a support organzation and this aspect is surely gonna kick in more strongly if the JW spouse thinks that he/she may also turn to alcoholism if they leave the confines of Jehovahs witnesses.

  Additionally if the non alcoholic spouse is like me and has children then my ability to give more support to my hypothetically alcoholic husband is gonna be quite limited. All the more reason to first test and then promote the merits of other family support organisations.

  Forgive me if the above feels like I am blaming the vicitim - this is not my intention. I'm simply trying to think of solutions for both parties and recommending the idea of establishing negative feedback postive feedback options for addressing the issue - This is how our biological systems work (particulary the endocrine and nervous systems) and I am a great believer in attemting to mirror nature to enhance life and to find solutions that can work unconsciously as well as consciously.

  edit: just to emphasize that my husband is not alcoholic or even remotely heading that way - I am commenting on a hypothetical scenario
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  42

  what kind of degree do you have?

  by deservingone26 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  ive been going thru a lot of the different posts on here and seeing that most here believe that higher education is very important.

  i agree that it is important and i plan on going back to school in the fall but im just wondering who all here has a degree and in what?

  just curious .

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  Curtains

  I'm working on a pre university foundational course with a broad focus on religion. But I think I'll probably ditch the religion side and go for something different for my degree. Maybe something in computers+sales to enhance job prospects.
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  108

  The secret of how Christianity spread across the world

  by Terry in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  what i am going to say may sound nasty and mean-spirited.

  i assure you it is not intended in that tone.. men are power seekers and control freaks.

  without using women as drones to do the grunt work of religion.

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  Curtains

  Terry real life stand somewhere in between the polarities you draw up.

  additionally here are a couple of quotes from the period under discussion which I have also posted on your other thread

  here is something from plutarch

  When his son was born, Cato thought that nothing but the most important business of state should prevent him from being present when his wife gave the baby its first bath and wrapped it in swaddling clothes....as soon as the boy was able to learn, his father took charge of his schooling and taught him to read, ... so he took it upon himself to teach the boy, not only his letters, but also the principles of Roman law...He tells us that he composed his history of Rome, writing it out in large characters so that his son should posses in his home the means of acquainting himself with the ancient annals and tradtions of his country.

  And this from Cicero

  109 What is more sacred, what is more inviolably hedged about by every kind of sanctity, than the home of every individual citizen? Within its circle are his altars, his hearths, his household gods, his religion, his observances, his ritual; it is a sanctuary so holy in the eyes of all, that it were a sacrilige to tear an owner therefrom.
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  6

  Contrast and compare: Mom/Dad in teaching you about God/Religion

  by Terry in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  my ideas about god were not specific teachings as a small child.. my mom liked to read the book of revelation out loud to me.

  the scorpions stinging with head's like men; that sort of weird shit!.

  my grandmother was reared a catholic and had been instructed by nuns!

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  Curtains

  (((((robdar)))))
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  6

  Contrast and compare: Mom/Dad in teaching you about God/Religion

  by Terry in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  my ideas about god were not specific teachings as a small child.. my mom liked to read the book of revelation out loud to me.

  the scorpions stinging with head's like men; that sort of weird shit!.

  my grandmother was reared a catholic and had been instructed by nuns!

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  Curtains

  And this from Cicero

  109 What is more sacred, what is more inviolably hedged about by every kind of sanctity, than the home of every individual citizen? Within its circle are his altars, his hearths, his household gods, his religion, his observances, his ritual; it is a sanctuary so holy in the eyes of all, that it were a sacrilige to tear an owner therefrom.
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  6

  Contrast and compare: Mom/Dad in teaching you about God/Religion

  by Terry in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  my ideas about god were not specific teachings as a small child.. my mom liked to read the book of revelation out loud to me.

  the scorpions stinging with head's like men; that sort of weird shit!.

  my grandmother was reared a catholic and had been instructed by nuns!

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  Curtains

  here is something from plutarch

  When his son was born, Cato thought that nothing but the most important business of state should prevent him from being present when his wife gave the baby its first bath and wrapped it in swaddling clothes....as soon as the boy was able to learn, his father took charge of his schooling and taught him to read, ... so he took it upon himself to teach the boy, not only his letters, but also the principles of Roman law...He tells us that he composed his history of Rome, writing it out in large characters so that his son should posses in his home the means of acquainting himself with the ancient annals and tradtions of his country.
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  6

  Contrast and compare: Mom/Dad in teaching you about God/Religion

  by Terry in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  my ideas about god were not specific teachings as a small child.. my mom liked to read the book of revelation out loud to me.

  the scorpions stinging with head's like men; that sort of weird shit!.

  my grandmother was reared a catholic and had been instructed by nuns!

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  Curtains

  In our christian household the only time God was mentioned was when my dad said prayers before meals. My mum and dad both worked and when my mum came home from work she was busy till late at night with household chores. I cannot remember her ever talking to us about God. We did not have any religious books or even a bible in our home. But my dad always said a prayer before meals. I think his dad had always done so.

  So when I became a witness I was amazed by 2 things - that women ought to stay at home and not work if it was not absolutely necessary and they were to actively teach their children about Jehovah and the bible. Both of these I did with zeal. However my husband leads family worship and discusses with me what my children ought to be learning.
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  43

  Mixed marriages - JW/non-JW - what makes you stay?

  by Nickolas in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i know a woman, became a wife .

  these are the very words she uses to describe her life .

  she said a good day, ain't got no rain .

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  Curtains

  I'm going to have an extra double scotch tonight, Curtains. Maybe a triple.
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  43

  Mixed marriages - JW/non-JW - what makes you stay?

  by Nickolas in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i know a woman, became a wife .

  these are the very words she uses to describe her life .

  she said a good day, ain't got no rain .

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
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  Curtains

  agreed - and to repeat

  I would definitely leave if my husband became addicted to alcohol and if he did not seek help that enabled him to stop being addicted.

  and I'll add that part of seeking help would be to consider marriage counselling for both of us.

  edit: but I'm not sure what to say about your own situation.
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  43

  Mixed marriages - JW/non-JW - what makes you stay?

  by Nickolas in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i know a woman, became a wife .

  these are the very words she uses to describe her life .

  she said a good day, ain't got no rain .

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Curtains

  nickolas, I think each person needs to take responsibilty for themselves. I think alcoholism drives itself and I simply don't believe that a person or situation can drive a person to alcoholsim but then again I don't have much experience in this field. However I would put my children before my husband if he became alcoholic. And if he decided to blame me for his alcoholism then this would be an even stronger incentive for me to leave - and he would prolly be happy to see me go