nekoreichan

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Posts by nekoreichan

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  20

  JW boy and 'worldly' girl - love torn in two

  by nekoreichan in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  hey everyone, .

  i have a question about being in a relationship with a jw boy.. we were friends since the beginning of our senior year in high school.

  i called him oniichan ( older brother in japanese) so it'll just be for fun.

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  nekoreichan

  OH! I forgot to mention, that he was baptized. If this changes anything?
• 
  20

  JW boy and 'worldly' girl - love torn in two

  by nekoreichan in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  hey everyone, .

  i have a question about being in a relationship with a jw boy.. we were friends since the beginning of our senior year in high school.

  i called him oniichan ( older brother in japanese) so it'll just be for fun.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
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  nekoreichan

  hey everyone,

  i have a question about being in a relationship with a JW boy.

  We were friends since the beginning of our senior year in high school. Just friends now. I called him Oniichan ( older brother in Japanese) so it'll just be for fun. We talked over the internet every night(seriously, every single day XD) and regularly in school. Because he hadn't done anything wrong before, his mother gave him much freedom ( such as staying after school to get help with english homework ). Usually i was there too because the english help was open to anyone. Sometimes we would take a break and we would go outside and talk. Then through out the year, the time spent at the English classroom grew longer, till like 7pm sometimes! we started to like each other the more we talked and hung out. We didn't tell each other tho, because at the time i had a boyfriend and he had his religion. after i broke up with my boyfriend (not going so well D:) and started telling the JW boy about my problems with the relationship. of course he comforted me and told me some scriptures from the bible. A month later, I decided to tell him that I liked him. He was kinda shocked and with him being all confused about liking me, i just took it that he didn't like me back. A few weeks later, we started to normally talk about each others problems, so i asked for a hug. so he said okay and i gave him one. He liked it so much, he asked for a hug everyday. He told me, because of his religion, that we couldn't be "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" but we considered ourselves very close friends. so from there our "like" turned into a full blown "love". So I loved him like an older brother and a lover. The JW boy would often say, "I wish i could have a future with you". He offered me bible study with just him, which i took (due to past experiences with bible study i was unable to actually study). We did that every week, and sometimes he would come over to study with me.

  One day, he came over for a bible study and just to hang out. His father that was in town was taking care of him, ( his parents are JW's and divorced ). At 7pm his father called him to ask where he was. The JW boy lied (since JW's aren't supposed to hang out with 'worldly' people) and said he was at school. His father suspected something and knew he was lying. Later that night, we didn't talk, for the first time. The next day i saw him at school, and he looked really depressed and he said to me, "shinda" which means "im dead" in japanese. He told me his father, printed out all the text messages he sent to me (okay, some were mere PG and some were rated R...)and took away his unlimited text messaging. The next day after that, he told me he was disfellowshipped. I panicked (due to my emotional instability) and instantly put the blame on myself. He told he that it wasn't my fault and i shouldn't be acting like that. Later, after school, that same day, he told me, he was unable to talk to me anymore only if its really necessary. He also said he couldn't be my Oniichan, and not to talk to him over the internet anymore. So in an instant, that deep connection was cut, it wasn't frayed and old and falling apart, it was just cut. being forced to love me less ( which he says he can't do).

  He repented and talks to me only a little bit now. I can till hes very depressed and doubting if he wants to be in his religion anymore. Still saying he wishes to have a future with me. All the time, even if its for a minute, he'll still say that to me. Im not sure if its a cry to be saved. I have considered that he lives with his JW mother, and the whole shunning thing has parents and family shunning the single disfellowshipped family member, so if he wanted to leave, he couldn't at the moment. He says he still loves me, and calls me sweetie.

  I will be 18 in may, so i was thinking of moving out of my mom's place so i can get my own apartment ( im able and willing). And if he truly wants to leave, he'll be able to live with me. And maybe we can that future he wants us to have.

  so after that long and boring story... I have no idea what to do, i want him to be happy again then again i dont know if i'll be able to help him. I've heard on the forum that this happens a lot, yet, i want this relationship to work. i love him very much and he loves me also.

  so please, if anyone can give me any advice about what i should do to make this relationship work with him. please tell me ~

  thank you ~