When you are in the middle of an abusive situation it is very easy for you to define yourself and your options in terms of that relationship. It is very common for an abusive man to blame the wife and to have controlling behaviours. You have been bullied by this man who has mentally opted out of the relationship and even though you love him it seems a little one sided with him giving nothing back.
Take a step back, you have children who are learning about relationships from this one. What lessons are they learning? That it is ok to put up with crap because you have feelings for another person. You are worth more than that and so are they. There are no scriptual grounds for divorce in 'JW terms but there are a number of rational ones. The man is manipulative, selfish, violent and this relationship is affecting your ability to function and perform essential tasks.
Don't be passive letting this happen to you, take control for the sake of your children and get legal advice. They will give expert advice on how to proceed. Once you know what you want and what your options are then go to your husband and tell him you have started divorce proceedings and he has to find alternative living arrangements.