My family started to study when I was six years old. A lady would come to our house and read us a book that had stories about the bible. As I grew older I grew to like it and then is when I become very advocated to it. I prepared myself for the meeting and would read the bible and Watchtower publications often. From the age 8 till about 15 I was very into it. But then as I grew up and started reasoning more for myself I started having doubts and questions. I met a wonderful history teacher whose purpose was to stir our minds find questions in what we took for granted to be true. During this time I might add, things were getting really bad in my family. Going back in a flash back, since I was six my dad physically abused of me as well as emotionally. Whenever I asked him why he would hit me in such way he would simply say, “You deserved it”. When I was smaller, having less capacity to think for myself I would believe him, but as I got older I learned this NOT to be true, and when this realization came about is when the problems started. I became hungrier for knowledge, not satisfied anymore with the information given to me, new possibilities became visible, showing there wasn’t one specific answer to everything, as I had thought for so long, so I started looking in the knowledge of the “world”, what a jw would call it. Information useless to man, only to bring him down to his own sin, but here I found more realizations, more question doubts. What I found in what they told me to stay away from was not some evil force trying to bring me to its unholy throne, but facts that made them, the WTS the unimaginable, wrong. I found what was beyond the truth, what they didn’t want you to see not because it would harm you, but make you wake up, think for yourself, see past the pretty picture they place for you at the beginning to get you in. They used two wise tactics on man to bring him to the church, and keep him there, fear and ignorance. Many who are in are good people, with good hearts, thinking they are giving the best meaning to their life, but are controlled by those smarter, closing them from the outside. These are usually the ones who take care of hiding the scandals, and “keeping the sheep in the flock”. But coming back to my own family problem, which in a few moments will be understood why it is presented, was going from worst to horrible, I had never told anyone but a few close friends about the ongoing abuse, but I was 16 and it happened again, and I had the age and the knowledge to know what my father was doing was wrong, and wasn’t going to let it happened again, I notified authorities and I was placed with a JW friend of the family, which eventually took my dad’s side when my doubts about the organization were revealed, making my life in her as miserable as in my own home. In a month I went back home feeling homesick in my unstable stage of mind, believing the lies of my father who claimed things would change, if the charges was dropped and I came home, but I soon found this to be a lie, when he told me himself he had lied, so that him and the ORG. could handle things. The next sixth months I dedicated them to running away, trying to stay anywhere but home. During these six months my parents took advantage of me not going to the meeting anymore, to make me look like an evil retched child to the elders and soon enough a meeting was arranged with the elders and here I came to be accused of being un-respectful to my parents for looking for my own safety. My dad spend half an hour talking to them about things that had not happened, leaving me with my mouth open wide, for if I don’t remember wrong, you are not supposed to lie in these meeting, bc the holy spirit would not allow such a thing. They said they saw no resentment in my actions, for I said my dad my was lying and I did not do such things and even though I still found the humility to tell them that if I ever was rude I was sorry, they expelled me from the church. Usually it is said that you only get expelled for committing fornication, adultery, constant drug abuse, some evil retched sin, but I wasn’t. At this point in I time I wondered how many were like me, expelled for lesser reasons that weren’t valid, and I felt awful for ever having a judgmental thought against them. I appealed and another meeting was set up with different elders, and here I was also expelled for showing no desire of going to church in the last months, and I for a fact that the elders from my past had influence in this decision, for they were enraged when they saw I didn’t feel there decision had anything to do with what God would do. I was busy looking for my own safety so I hoped to find understanding, but I found none. Soon the door started closing with my parents pressing charges on anybody who offered help to me so I when my dad finally put in writing this hypocrite hidden feelings I went to authorities and I am once more in foster care recovering, from my life, with and actual foster family. Since being df’d from the org, there have been a lot of rumors of the reasons for it and the craziest stories have been formed, “brothers’ thinking the worst of me, which I don’t blame them for, I once was the same. Brothers who once hugged me and KNEW me well to be a good child now stay away from me like if I were the devil. About my parents with the support of the org. they are still convinced that the problem was me, that there is no way the fault could be on them, bc through it all they never stopped going to the meetings. I wonder, would they have treated me better if I had kept on going? When we went to court to see if I would stay home or stay in foster care, and I was surprised to see that my dad neglects ever having abusing me . which hurts me to the core and to think this is only the beginning of my life story. Just to show not everything is what it seems. I am just glad to have found you guys. :-)
hedonistixstar
JoinedPosts by hedonistixstar
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when the truth becomes lies
by hedonistixstar inmy family started to study when i was six years old.
a lady would come to our house and read us a book that had stories about the bible.
as i grew older i grew to like it and then is when i become very advocated to it.
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5
when the TRUTH became lies
by hedonistixstar inmy family started to study when i was six years old.
a lady would come to our house and read us a book that had stories about the bible.
as i grew older i grew to like it and then is when i become very advocated to it.
-
-
hedonistixstar
My family started to study when I was six years old. A lady would come to our house and read us a book that had stories about the bible. As I grew older I grew to like it and then is when I become very advocated to it. I prepared myself for the meeting and would read the bible and Watchtower publications often. From the age 8 till about 15 I was very into it. But then as I grew up and started reasoning more for myself I started having doubts and questions. I met a wonderful history teacher whose purpose was to stir our minds find questions in what we took for granted to be true. During this time I might add, things were getting really bad in my family. Going back in a flash back, since I was six my dad physically abused of me as well as emotionally. Whenever I asked him why he would hit me in such way he would simply say, “You deserved it”. When I was smaller, having less capacity to think for myself I would believe him, but as I got older I learned this NOT to be true, and when this realization came about is when the problems started. I became hungrier for knowledge, not satisfied anymore with the information given to me, new possibilities became visible, showing there wasn’t one specific answer to everything, as I had thought for so long, so I started looking in the knowledge of the “world”, what a jw would call it. Information useless to man, only to bring him down to his own sin, but here I found more realizations, more question doubts. What I found in what they told me to stay away from was not some evil force trying to bring me to its unholy throne, but facts that made them, the WTS the unimaginable, wrong. I found what was beyond the truth, what they didn’t want you to see not because it would harm you, but make you wake up, think for yourself, see past the pretty picture they place for you at the beginning to get you in. They used two wise tactics on man to bring him to the church, and keep him there, fear and ignorance. Many who are in are good people, with good hearts, thinking they are giving the best meaning to their life, but are controlled by those smarter, closing them from the outside. These are usually the ones who take care of hiding the scandals, and “keeping the sheep in the flock”. But coming back to my own family problem, which in a few moments will be understood why it is presented, was going from worst to horrible, I had never told anyone but a few close friends about the ongoing abuse, but I was 16 and it happened again, and I had the age and the knowledge to know what my father was doing was wrong, and wasn’t going to let it happened again, I notified authorities and I was placed with a JW friend of the family, which eventually took my dad’s side when my doubts about the organization were revealed, making my life in her as miserable as in my own home. In a month I went back home feeling homesick in my unstable stage of mind, believing the lies of my father who claimed things would change, if the charges was dropped and I came home, but I soon found this to be a lie, when he told me himself he had lied, so that him and the ORG. could handle things. The next sixth months I dedicated them to running away, trying to stay anywhere but home. During these six months my parents took advantage of me not going to the meeting anymore, to make me look like an evil retched child to the elders and soon enough a meeting was arranged with the elders and here I came to be accused of being un-respectful to my parents for looking for my own safety. My dad spend half an hour talking to them about things that had not happened, leaving me with my mouth open wide, for if I don’t remember wrong, you are not supposed to lie in these meeting, bc the holy spirit would not allow such a thing. They said they saw no resentment in my actions, for I said my dad my was lying and I did not do such things and even though I still found the humility to tell them that if I ever was rude I was sorry, they expelled me from the church. Usually it is said that you only get expelled for committing fornication, adultery, constant drug abuse, some evil retched sin, but I wasn’t. At this point in I time I wondered how many were like me, expelled for lesser reasons that weren’t valid, and I felt awful for ever having a judgmental thought against them. I appealed and another meeting was set up with different elders, and here I was also expelled for showing no desire of going to church in the last months, and I for a fact that the elders from my past had influence in this decision, for they were enraged when they saw I didn’t feel there decision had anything to do with what God would do. I was busy looking for my own safety so I hoped to find understanding, but I found none. Soon the door started closing with my parents pressing charges on anybody who offered help to me so I when my dad finally put in writing this hypocrite hidden feelings I went to authorities and I am once more in foster care recovering, from my life, with and actual foster family. Since being df’d from the org, there have been a lot of rumors of the reasons for it and the craziest stories have been formed, “brothers’ thinking the worst of me, which I don’t blame them for, I once was the same. Brothers who once hugged me and KNEW me well to be a good child now stay away from me like if I were the devil. About my parents with the support of the org. they are still convinced that the problem was me, that there is no way the fault could be on them, bc through it all they never stopped going to the meetings. I wonder, would they have treated me better if I had kept on going? When we went to court to see if I would stay home or stay in foster care, and I was surprised to see that my dad neglects ever having abusing me, this hurts me to the core, and the worst part is the church believes him, and this is only the beginning of my story, i am really glad to have found people i can relate with, i will write more soon. thanks for reading a piece of my live story, but just to show nothing is what it seems