My son, 35 is an elder in a congo about 30mil away. I have not seen or talked with him in almost 3yrs. My husband calls him every few months just to check in. He will chat, small talk for about 10mins and then he has to go. He always says "tell mom I love her" but never asks to speak.
When we first left we had a handful of intense talks on TTAT but he always referred back to his love for Jah, faith and love among the brotherhood. He also brings up "but you taught this to me" and it does hurt. His wife never liked me so this is good excuse not to see me. He is on the RBC so very involved in the "exciting" building work. They travel to the International conventions and very social Jdub life.
I believe many if not most Jdub are in it only for the social connections. It is just too hard to leave those relationships.