Posts by flipper

12

Guilt as Motivator

by LifesNotOver in

jw
friends

i've just come across this idea: i've been feeling guilty about not contributing more to this forum, given all the help i've received here.

i feel guilty that i haven't had it as bad as so many of you.

i feel guilty that i didn't have any jw family/friends that shunned me when i left.

LIFESNOTOVER- Great thread, thanks for posting it . I was a born-in JW from birth, I escaped the JW cult at age 44 back in 2003- and I DO really understand about guilt as well plaguing us as EX-JW's. My elder dad STILL tries to guilt me 13 years after I got out of the cult ! But I've moved on and continued to live MY life the best way I can WITHOUT guilt. It's just another tactic that ALL mind control cults use is guilt and fear to control their members and sometimes it's hard to lose that indoctrination in our minds - even if we've been out of the JW's for awhile. So I empathize- been there, experienced that.

The suggestions of therapy are really great from the other posters- right now I'm getting some grief therapy counseling after my mom died over 2 months ago and it's really helping me to sort out my anger issues towards my older JW elder dad and helping me to NOT feel guilt about the JW influence from his guilt tactics towards me - and it's helping me deal with how I tried to help my mom , but my dad got in the way of me helping towards the end of my mom's life - and the therapist helped me to see that I did the best I could to make my mom comfortable- in spite of my dad's controlling ways.

I wish you the best my friend , please take care of YOU and enjoy life. Life is meant to be enjoyed- guilt free for sure

26

My Story

by WeatherLover in

jw
friends

i'm a 4th generation jw.

i started to realize it wasn't the truth over 2 years ago in late october/early november 2014. i don't know how exactly it happened.

i remember i had just heard about confirmation bias, and it hit me: i realized that i would be guilty of confirmation bias if i didn't look at the other side.

flipper

WEATHER LOVER- Welcome to the board. You are among friends here who have shared similar feelings. But I agree with everybody here- especially what the poster Dubstepped stated so well - that if you want real happiness then you cannot continue to live your life for your JW family. It will eat you up inside and all that they will try to do is put feelings of guilt on you the rest of your life. My JW older family do not recognize my personal rights either- and I've been away from the Witnesses since 2003 !

As Dubstepped said REAL LOVE is not conditional and will be accepting of different life choices you make regarding religious beliefs or even having no religious beliefs. It sounds like you have a great aunt who will help you who is inactive. I would avail yourself of her offer of help to you. And we are here as a friend and support to you as well. Take care, I know it's difficult, but we're here every step of the way with you, we've been there too. And experienced the JW family situations. Take care, Peace out, Mr. Flipper

45

What has been your own personal experience of shunning?

by UnshackleTheChains in

i am interested in finding out on a small scale the extent of which shunning has impacted on you personally.. my own experience is that when i faded about 12 years ago.

the woman whose house the book study was held at (and who was virtually a neighbour) walked right past me in my own street.

i remember it so well.

flipper

UNSHACKLE the CHAINS- Thanks for this thread, very important and supportive to those of us who have experienced this shunning.

God almighty, where do I begin ? I got out of the JW's about 14 years ago . Just stopped going, not DFed and I didn't disassociate. But essentially the fanatic JW's in my family have treated me like I'm DFed anyway. When my adult JW daughters got married, I was not allowed to walk either daughter down the aisle . I was not called by one of my daughters when she had her first baby. I found out on her Facebook page. Wasn't allowed to see my grandchild until 6 months of age. And that's because I went over uninvited stopping by randomly . My grandchild is almost a year and a half- have only seen the child 3 or 4 times at formal family affairs. Not enough to form a close relationship.

My mom a JW who recently passed away was always supportive to me in my decision to exit the Witnesses years ago- but my older JW siblings and dad were not supportive. Even though I've occasionally called them to see how they are doing- they NEVER call me and my dad can't wait to hang up the phone on me when I call him to see how he is doing. An epic conversation with him lasts 3 minutes - only.

I have a lot of resentment towards my still active JW family as they all treat me like I have the Black Plague or something. Fortunately- I have many ex-JW nieces and nephews and my son and wife whom I'm close to who are very supportive and kind. We all have really good relationships. But the sadness of losing my mom, and resentment of my older JW family treating me like doo-doo has recently led me to get some grief counseling from Snowline Hospice. I'm seeing a great counselor there and she is assisting me to work through these various sorrows and pains I feel.

I have many good friends here as well I've met through this board and other non-JW friends who love me for who I am- and that is something I cherish. Having friends who accept you for WHO you are - not who they WANT you to be- which is something I'm not. Playing guitar , doing music, and writing songs has helped me cope with the pain as well. So, these things are my therapy. Take care, thanks for the thread

32

Scientology Superbowl Ad

by azor in

jw
friends

simply disgusted with that double standard by our system at times.

cutting ads that question trumps bigoted wall, yet allowing a cult ad in.

wtf..

flipper

ANYWAY- Meanwhile back at the ranch- concerning the thread topic if I may- these ads by Scientology are just damage control due to the heavy negative exposure Leah Remini and Mike Rinder are revealing about criminal and unjust behavior within the Scientology cult. Good for them in exposing this conduct ! It's forcing Scientology to spend millions $$$ in trying to make themselves look " better " . But like Nonjwspouse stated thinking people who have seen Remini's show will see through the BS ads by Scientology as desperation on their part.

We can only hope that more negative exposure comes out regarding Jehovah's Witnesses. All of these cults are dangerous- and much of the public are in oblivion mentally regarding that fact. Peace out, Mr.Flipper

14

Mary Tyler Moore Dec.29, 1936 – Jan.25, 2017

by glenster in

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ybujst8kozq https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wgeojxtqtwc https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jxovacssahu https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/mary_tyler_moore.

flipper

When I heard that Mary Tyler Moore had died- it made me sad all over again regarding my own mom dying. My mom's personality was very similar to Mary Tyler Moore's. Very bubbly, an energized person who could carry a conversation very well, an infectious laugh and great sense of humor. Mary you'll be missed , you too mom. Indeed

13

Another Young JW dead during childbirth

by Lee Elder in

the latest young jehovah's witness mother to die in childbirth by following the terrible medical advice of watchtower writers.. https://www.niyitabiti.net/2017/02/nigerian-jehovah-witness-allegedly-dies-of-excess-bleeding-during-child-birth-because-church-doesnt-permit-blood-transfusion/.

flipper

I don't understand the hesitance on the other posters here in accepting this story. Thousands of JW's have died from not receiving life saving blood transfusions throughout the years. Why on earth would this Facebook poster be making this story up ? It sounds legitimate to me . Seems as if he is sincerely mournful over the loss of life of this dear lady.

Thanks for posting this Lee Elder. Once again it shows how the WT Society and Jehovah's Witnesses do NOT value this life in the here and now. It's important for non-JW's to see these crimes happening

60

Stephanie Fessler v Watch Tower - Trial on Tuesday, Feb. 7, 2017 in Pennsylvania

by AndersonsInfo in

http://avoidjw.org/2017/02/stephanie-fessler-v-watch-tower/.

stephanie fessler v watch tower.

stephanie fessler was brought up as a jehovah’s witness by her parents, jodee and kevin.

flipper

Indeed there is HUGE liability on the elders part and the parents part in this for not reporting these child abuse offenses to police authorities. The WT Society is creating criminal monsters from the top down. WT leaders want to hide these abuses, then the elders, then it bleeds down into even the parents wanting to hide these crimes from the outside world. It's a sick and insidious attitude that's indoctrinated into each and every JW's mind to " protect " the " needs " of the JW organization - when in fact - what the organization really NEEDS is to be exposed for allowing child abuse to continue to go on without reporting to police ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper

28

Birthday Wishes Welcome!

by LifesNotOver in

jw
friends

many of you don't know me or won't remember me.

i left the jw's and my husband and my home last september - forging a new life in a new town.

i haven't posted here for many months, but have been reading most days.

flipper

Happy Birthday to you! Life's definitely not over for you.

So glad that you are here.

Mrs. Flipper

78

The handling of child abuse allegations

by Landy in

there's a lot of criticism surrounding the jw's handling of chiild abuse within their ranks with a lot of it being well deserved.

but i'm interested to know how people on here think child abuse allegations should be handled.

there's a few scenarios below, the first couple are easy then it gets a bit more complex.

flipper

In ALL cases of child abuse within the JW organization or elsewhere- the police authorities should be contacted FIRST - before elders or the WT legal department are contacted, end of discussion, period mark, exclamation point. The protection of abused children is FOREMOST- not the JW " reputation " or " financial concerns " - child abuse is a felony crime with long years of prison time as a penalty- child abuse is not just a " sin " - it's a serious crime and it's not within elders, priests, or religious leaders of any faith's place or power to absolve or " forgive " or PREVENT justice and laws of the land to punish these child molesters. Peace out, Mr. Flipper

78

The handling of child abuse allegations

by Landy in

there's a lot of criticism surrounding the jw's handling of chiild abuse within their ranks with a lot of it being well deserved.

but i'm interested to know how people on here think child abuse allegations should be handled.

there's a few scenarios below, the first couple are easy then it gets a bit more complex.

flipper

Oh, for Christ's Sake. It is totally obvious when someone wants to deflect attention from what's really going on. Like the examples stated in the op.

I just get a feeling in my gut about these guys who do this. Y'all know damned well we are talking about REAL pedophiles, not statutory rape.

It seems the possibility of more lawsuits makes some people pretty nervous.

I don't have the patience to dance around it.

Mrs. Flipper