MOZZIE- Welcome to the board. Nice to have you here. First off, Jehovah doesn't hate you. You are being conditioned and mind controlled by the WT Society to hate yourself. WT Society does a number on people's brains by intimidating them through needless guilt and fear. You aren't going to be destroyed at an imaginary or real " Armageddon " because it does not exist.
Ask yourself this very real question, " If you've lasted 20 years in your current relationship and it's gone well and smoothly with children, etc. - would a loving " God " insist that you have to get married or else you'd lose your family ? " Come on man. the WT Society is one of the biggest scams going right now out there among MANY religions that are just scams being used to control people's minds and lives. As you yourself stated- your bigger responsibility is to your partner and children and giving them a secure life. Oh- And one more thing WT Society likes to do- they enjoy breaking up families just so you'll stay trapped and controlled in their false belief systems.
Don't let them break up your family and realize that you don't owe the WT Society ANYTHING- NOTHING. They won't do anything for you but cause more heartache to you and your loved ones. RUN LIKE HELL my friend, stay away from Jehovah's Witnesses and save your sanity and peace of mind. It's a criminal organization run by criminals. take care, we are here as a support system to you. There is no need for you to keep beating yourself up through your life. You are a good person no matter what they say. Live your life for YOU and your FAMILY - not the judgmental WT Society.
Peace out, Mr. Flipper