Hello Everyone

by Mozzie 20 Replies latest jw friends

  • Mozzie

    Hoping this is the right section....

    My story so far,,,

    Hello everyone, i have been reading a lot on what most JWs would say apostate websites, but i have been asking myself, how much of this s true and considering a lot of these are run by ex Jw elders, bethalites and one who was with the GB at one stage, overseers and the like. I was an Unbaptized Publisher many years ago but never got to the point of Baptism as i fell into sin, that pretty much ended my attending meetings again. I did the right thing i thought, and went to the elders about it and had the meeting in the room, but i was a little annoyed at some of the questioning they adopted.(Now i see why as i have the shepherding the flock book)........ Anyway i decided to disassociate myself or pretty much just stopped going to the meetings, i believe they call that fading away, and i didn't think it was appropriate for me to go out and tell others about being good if i wasn't. So rather than bring reproach on Jehovah's name i faded away quietly. But towards that end, when i did go to the meetings. i felt like there were eyes everywhere waiting for me to mess up, and as soon as i did, the elders would pounce, maybe it was just me. I didn't really feel welcome there anymore, again just me probably. Anyway i had no one in my family in the truth and i was living on a farm at this point on my own, then i met my partner, she wasn't in the truth, tho i tried to talk to her about it, she didn't really want to know about it as she sees Jehovah as a God who hates Woman. At first she did study up until the headship issue in the study article and that was that.
    Anyway we have 3 kids now and we have been together for the best part of nearly 20 years, but we have never married. She doesn't want to get married. Anyway, i have never stopped praying to Jehovah and had those knocks on the door in all the places we moved to by those out on the field service.
    Recently i started to attend a meeting here where i live now in Oz, and a pioneer suggested i restart a Bible study with him, i am like yeah why not. This is where the problem is. I have been told that i will have to at some point marry my partner or make a stand and consider leaving my family, As the Bible says, i am living an immoral life, but at the same time the Bible states that i have a responsibility to look after my family, and doing this would leave all of us on the streets, something God wouldn't like to see. I now find myself battling with my heart over this and the fact that all i have read about JWs doctrines and cover ups and doing my own research pointing to the fact that their faithful and discreet slave have or are misinterpreting the scriptures. I am now more lost in the scriptures than making sense of it all. The more i look into it the more damming it is for JWs reasoning on scriptural stuff. I am like now scared to death of Jehovah thinking that no matter what i do now, i will feel his wrath no matter what. I am like what now, Armageddon is coming and that will be the end of me cause i am a immoral sinner and there is no salvation for me. I was convinced that i was in the truth all those years ago. Like as soon as i talked about getting baptized, i fell to sin, thinking, well that was Satan stopping me from obeying Jehovah God, so it has to be the truth. Then i find myself in the same battle again when i read all this about living on the earth forever after Armageddon, then reading about going to heaven in other scriptures that are directed at a great crowd, and was what i was taught all wrong, then i read about the good news being preached in Mathew 24:14, and really thinking about it, only the JWs are doing that, then with the reasoning to myself saying that Adam and Eve had not eaten the fruit they would have never died, thus man living on the earth forever in health. So as you can see my head now is a mess.
    I don't know what to think, what is truth, what is not, i go insane now just trying to figure it all out. I said to God, why is it so hard to find you and the truth, what have i done to not see it, or am i really condemned like i have been told if i don't change. Then i ask how can a sinner repent, if that sinner isn't able to repent then whats the point in the sacrifice.
    I have also been looking at the Royal Commission and how the GB was trying to beat around the questioning and nearly to the point of deception when asked about all the child abuse, they just wouldn't answer with a straight answer. The cover ups, stuff like that. I have taken it upon myself as well to abstain some books on scriptures with Hebrew and Greek references and seen where the GB have changed some of the wordings around that change the meaning of the scriptures. Looking into the history of Russel and Rutherford and how they come up with their stuff. Half have no basis at all.
    The other scary thing is this new light concept. My understanding is this, if it was light from God in the first place, why was it adjusted later on, Jehovah it says in the Bible, is not a God of confusion. And Angels directed to give this information wouldn't dare say something other than what they were told to say, unless these angels were not the righteous ones we know about.Then they say they are not directed by spirit, but buy spirit directed information The GB say they are prophets, Gods spokesmen, as were the 1st century Christians that put the bible together, but the 1st century Christians got theirs right the first time cause as they said, they were inspired by the Holy Spirit, so i would have thought that the GB would get it right the first time. But then they sau it is food at the proper time, and that the light would get brighter near the end. But all the may time they said the end was coming and those dates came and went
    Another thing is what if the GB have lost he fine fight, then come judgement time, they are held to account. What then for all the witnesses following them, do they fall as well like those pf Kora in the Wilderness?
    And if this is the case, i try to reason with myself, who then are the faithful and discreet slave, or is this all a ploy of Satan's way to drive all away. Then the other thing is the Organization say more and more to be obedient to them, But Deut 18:20-22 say that is a dangerous step to take. I was always under the impression that Jesus said, all come to me and put your heavy burden on me, i am the way, the life and the resurrection. There is nothing in the Bible that suggests there was an organization before and during the 1st century, and 1 Corinth 5 i think is not a basis for it if you read it in context and through into Galatians. I have wondered about putting all this to the Pioneer guy i study with, but all i would get is another sitting with the elders or told to study more, but i have been studying for a long time and i see all this in the scriptures..
    So all this i have racing around in my head at the moment, and i don't know what the answer is, as i said, i believe in God, Jesus and the Bible, just a little stumbled about the whole GB reasoning
    There is more but ill leave it at that for now
    Sorry for the rambling, i thought i better give you all an insight in my messed up head

  • Question_Mans_interpretation

    Take a breath. You threw out a lot of questions all at once and it's a little much to answer so let me just summarize what I have learned about the jehovah's witnesses. The JW religion is a cult, a high mind control group and in the sense of Christianity they are very legslistic. Jesus set us free from the law and the JWs put "laws" back on their members. If you and your partner have been together 20 years that's huge! And honestly more like a marriage even if you don't have the damn legal paper saying so. If you guys are committed to each other than be happy and stop equating it to sin. Don't go back to the witnesses. Be free, live your life based on gods principle of love and be happy

  • Worldling9

    The jws have taught you to be very hard on yourself. You have a good life with your partner...enjoy it. Take your time, do your research. There is no hurry. Armageddon isn't coming.


  • wizzstick

    I truly feel sorry for you.

    You've spent years worrying about the JW's and God. I would encourage you to read more on the Bible. If that is not the word of God then, really, why worry anymore?

    Try and get hold of Bart D. Ehrman's books, Misquoting Jesus and Jesus, Interrupted.

    Then try Dan Barker's Godless: How an Evangelical Preacher Became One of America's Leading Atheists.

    They will really help you.

  • Mozzie

    Thank you for your kind replies, yes it has been a bit of a roller coaster for me and reading other posts from those who have got out, they all share the same theme, i will definitely look into those books

  • Perry

    Just know that Bart Ehrman is the world's leading atheist bible skeptic.

    He used to be a believer but now has an axe to grind against God. If you want to wallow in self-pity, he's your man.

    In describing his spiritual background, Ehrman describes an event that occurred when his father was dying of cancer. His charismatic youth group leader visited the hospital and “used a bottle of hotel shampoo to ‘anoint’ his father, and tried to persuade his father to confess specific sins” (“Former Fundamentalist ‘Debunks’ Bible,” CNN, May 15, 2009). Ehrman says he was angry at the man for acting “self-righteous” and “hypocritical.” This event, though, does not reflect negatively on a biblicist faith. It simply proves that this particular youth leader was a misguided man.

    You will always find someone selling what you are buying. Many people who have been abused by other religious people will try to sell you a bill of goods called naturalism. They simply go from one group of "experts" to another group of so-called experts for guidance.

    The watchtower says to come to them for salvation. Jesus says to come the Him. Read everything you can about what Jesus said. Then believe them and you will be free & prosperous with a secure future. Forget about your "sins" for the time being. Learn what Jesus did for YOU. He took care of your sin at Calvary 2000 years ago and he will take care of sin in your life now if you let him. It is not about your will power, but about Him.

    Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. - Mt 11: 28-30

  • stan livedeath
    stan livedeath

    armageddon will definitely happen during our overlapping lifetimes.

  • wizzstick

    If you want to wallow in self-pity, he's your man.

    Wow - so if Mozzie reads Ehrman's books he must want to wallow in self-pity?


  • zophar


    Many people attend Catholic services every week. They practice birth control, think Priests should be able to marry, don't agree with the Church on divorce, don't believe the Pope is infallible.....but still they go to church. Why? Maybe they enjoy the service or maybe they just feel it is part of worshipping God. It really doesn't matter, if they feel better then good for them.

    That is harder to do with Jehovah's Witnesses since they don't want you to "go to church" they want to control your life. BUT, I am convinced that MANY people go to the Kingdom Hall like they would go to church. They don't agree with shunning their children, believing every word of the Governing Body, the blood issue and so on. Now, if you feel better by "going to church" at the Kingdom Hall, that is up to you. However, do not join by getting baptized and quit studying with the pioneer. It will just lead to more pressure to conform and likely lead to him labeling you an apostate because of your independent thinking.

    I have asked unbelieving mates who have attended meetings for years, why they come. Several have told me they like the meetings and the people. Hey, as long as it makes them feel better, so be it. Some go to the movies for that, but if the meetings work fine. And, they are free as long as you don't contribute. 🤑

    As for Armageddon. If Jesus came and paid the price for you, who has the right to say you won't make it. Also, if there is no Armageddon it doesn't matter anyway does it?

    You might do well to study the subject of Grace, called undeserved kindness by JW's. It's a way of continuing your belief but in a less judgmental way. It's more just appreciating life and living a life of gratitude rather than obligation. You just might find that indeed, Jesus yoke is light and refreshing.

    Good luck Mozzie.

  • flipper

    MOZZIE- Welcome to the board. Nice to have you here. First off, Jehovah doesn't hate you. You are being conditioned and mind controlled by the WT Society to hate yourself. WT Society does a number on people's brains by intimidating them through needless guilt and fear. You aren't going to be destroyed at an imaginary or real " Armageddon " because it does not exist.

    Ask yourself this very real question, " If you've lasted 20 years in your current relationship and it's gone well and smoothly with children, etc. - would a loving " God " insist that you have to get married or else you'd lose your family ? " Come on man. the WT Society is one of the biggest scams going right now out there among MANY religions that are just scams being used to control people's minds and lives. As you yourself stated- your bigger responsibility is to your partner and children and giving them a secure life. Oh- And one more thing WT Society likes to do- they enjoy breaking up families just so you'll stay trapped and controlled in their false belief systems.

    Don't let them break up your family and realize that you don't owe the WT Society ANYTHING- NOTHING. They won't do anything for you but cause more heartache to you and your loved ones. RUN LIKE HELL my friend, stay away from Jehovah's Witnesses and save your sanity and peace of mind. It's a criminal organization run by criminals. take care, we are here as a support system to you. There is no need for you to keep beating yourself up through your life. You are a good person no matter what they say. Live your life for YOU and your FAMILY - not the judgmental WT Society.

    Peace out, Mr. Flipper

Share this