I just had to join in on this discussion, so being a new poster, I hope I get all this right.
I grew up in the JW and have faded out after a divorce, and the subsequent non aproval of the members of the congregation, even though it was the ex that was reproved for her affairs.
The one scripture that has always stuck in my mind is John 13:35...By this all will know that you are my disciples, if you have love amoung yourselves.
The very fact that the elders have to be told to tell the brothers to make an appearance of a loving group is indication alone that this is not the true religion.
If the elders make an error in a judicial discision and they are in jepordy of having this revealed, you really get to see the love in the organization. They will push you out of the org. as fast as they can. In fact though, it was likely the most loving thing they ever did as I am free of it now.