Plmcrzy - to answer your question, we've known each other on a very personal level (not physically) for about a year.
LookingIn
JoinedPosts by LookingIn
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45
Help - I'm in love with a JW!
by LookingIn inand i am not a jw.
from what i gather reading this site that makes me "worldly".
anyway, i am embarrassed to say we are both married and have children.
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45
Help - I'm in love with a JW!
by LookingIn inand i am not a jw.
from what i gather reading this site that makes me "worldly".
anyway, i am embarrassed to say we are both married and have children.
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LookingIn
Okay everyone, I didn't want you to think I was fleeing the scene after seeing all your eye-opening commentary. I know we look like cheating scum on the surface, but things are never erally that simple. We are both fundamentally decent people, caught up in something we weren't looking for or expecting. I won't bother trying to justify what we are doing or our relatonship. It would sound hollow and isn't relevant.
We are in no hurry and are starting a break from each other that we have been planning (and dreading) to try and resume our normal lives for a while. She and I have talked today, after I read most of your comments. She is going to try and see whether it's possible to reconnect with her husband over the next few months. Your comments inspired me to encourage her to do this and tell her I would be happy for her if she is able to reconnect with him, despite my selfish desires.
We both believe that if we care for each other as strongly as we think, then those feelings will be there in one year, two years, or even nine years when her kids become adult (mine are older). Thanks for all your comments. Poodlehead, thanks for not being so judgemental and for the practical advice.
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45
Help - I'm in love with a JW!
by LookingIn inand i am not a jw.
from what i gather reading this site that makes me "worldly".
anyway, i am embarrassed to say we are both married and have children.
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LookingIn
Gregor, can you expand on the can of worms thing a little bit? Since she calls it the Truth, I feel it would be disrespectful to do otherwise at this point. But I don't like worms very much. Ick.
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45
Help - I'm in love with a JW!
by LookingIn inand i am not a jw.
from what i gather reading this site that makes me "worldly".
anyway, i am embarrassed to say we are both married and have children.
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LookingIn
Thanks again for all your thoughts. I wish I could post all the details, but that wouldn't be possible. For the record, my little head is not doing all the thinking, and it's not primarily about physical attraction. You'll have to take me at my word on that (I can hear you all saying "yeah, right"..). We have agreed not to see each other any more until "the time is right" whenever that may be. It may be never because of her beliefs. I understand that. We are both good people with human faults. Our spouses are not bad people or abusive, but we chose poorly and we're both miserable. We both care tremendously about our kids and know that a divorce would have negative consequences. Mine are older and I have an excellent relationship with them. Also, I am a child of divorce and truly didn't suffer greatly as a result, having parents who both clearly cared about me. I'm of the opinion it's less about the fact of divorce than how parents conduct themselves afterwards. We would both be committed to doing anything in our power to mitigate the pain we've caused. Of course, we may decide the only way is not to go down this road any further. Either way, it is likely we will both divorce as neither of us can envision the rest of our lives with our current spouses. She acknowledges this even when faced with the severe consequences that will be imposed by her faith. From what she's described to me, it sounds like her congregation or branch or whatever you call it is a little more forgiving and lenient than many. Her circle of friends is mostly inside the faith, but also includes many family members who have been DF'ed, reproved, etc yet she is still allowed to communicate and associate with them to a degree. I'm trying to understand her faith more, and the consequences of our actions to her kids FROM A FAITH STANDPOINT. Can anyone shed some light on this aspect?
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45
Help - I'm in love with a JW!
by LookingIn inand i am not a jw.
from what i gather reading this site that makes me "worldly".
anyway, i am embarrassed to say we are both married and have children.
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LookingIn
Thanks for your replies so far. I'll look in the Best Of. I was pretty sure this topic has bene covered many times, but the site is difficult to navigate, well at least I'm having difficulty! LOL. It is more complicated than it sounds, and I realize we both look like cheating scum. We will look out for the kids and do anything we can to minimize the havoc it will wreak on their lives, even it if means ending our relationship. I'm trying to get some perspective towards a long range solution that will have the minimal possible long term impact on their spiritual futures.
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45
Help - I'm in love with a JW!
by LookingIn inand i am not a jw.
from what i gather reading this site that makes me "worldly".
anyway, i am embarrassed to say we are both married and have children.
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LookingIn
And I am not a JW. From what I gather reading this site that makes me "worldly". Anyway, I am embarrassed to say we are both married and have children. She is fairly devout in her beliefs, and believes wholeheartedly in the truth, but doesn't consider herself a fully practicing JW, and she only goes to meeting once a week or so. She knows she'll eventually be disfellowshipped for what she's doing. I am non-religious, but I respect her faith and don't wish to change her or lead her outside of her faith. What I do want is for her to divorce her husband and marry me. We know she will be DF'ed if that happens, but she also believes she can eventually be reinstated. Her biggest fear is that seeing their mom DF'ed will lead her children, ages 9 and 11, away from the truth. She thinks it might be best to wait until they are older. I've told her I'll do anything I can to help her get reinstated once the dust settles. Any advice for me (besides "run, far, far away")? Do you think it's better to start the turmoil now while the kids are younger and will still be impressionable when she's able to get back in, or to wait until they are older and have had a chance to decide for themselves whether they want to follow the truth?