I was born into a JW family, although, I can't really say that we were anything but weak Christians. I have dealt with much abuse and neglect. I was especially neglected socially everywhere I've been. I have dealt with the abuse of kids at school who hated JW's because we were weird. I do have to say that I never wanted to leave being a JW. I had dealt with so many health issues related to my PTSD that I have been unable to work for a while. The health problems also came in between me and my service to Jah. I have suffered from great heartache at being a witness and not being accepted because I was poor and from the single-parent family. I also believed that I was somehow responsible for being molested and that my presence there was the proof of something wicked that happened in God's midst. I was really unable to talk with anybody about my issues because I felt that if I complained of anything I would be considered bad association or even apostate. Eventually, through years of deep loneliness and social neglect, I ended up in a relationship with a worldy man and got disfellowshipped; although, the brothers knew my health situation, that it was not good for me to live alone because I would get suicidal. They also knew that I had severe depression that made it impossible for me to trust a brother without having a complete freak-out session in front of his face when I first met the guy and would begin to get to know him. Anyway, I did what I could to remedy the situation by getting married so that the sin would end. They still disfellowshipped me. I have only just begun on a journey to really find God and understand his thoughts. I do believe that God understood and took my situation into consideration. I have always desired to do as God would want of me even in all of my imperfection. I just wish people had actually seen my heart and understood the depth of my love for God. I have never really had but so few real friends. I do hope to make many friends here.