Posts by Check_Your

21

Certainty, truth, and the JW's

by Check_Your_Premises in

pardon me while i think out loud.

this is kind of half baked.

to know truth is perhaps the most illusive and yet most important things.

Check_Your_Premises

As for the real question you're asking. My head is hurting and its friday so I'm gonna pass for now

Ok, it is Monday. I am sure you are looking for some heavy thinking and work to do!!! How about now?

45

DATING 101: Dating Interacially and my opposite: Will it Work Out?

by stillAwitness in

so me and the guy i've been dating finally became offical since last night and its the first time in almost a year since i have been in a relationship.

and for once, i think i may have a winner.

but he is white...and 32...and plays the african drums..and teaches some weird dance in a school for kids having to do with cuban tribal dances..or something or other.

Check_Your_Premises

as long as you two can communicate your needs,

Yeah, along with your values being compatible in regards to children and money... make sure you communicate well!!! Communication is the basis for all our relationships. If we have problems communicating, we have those same problems with everyone. See what kind of problems he has with others. If they are caused by his communication style, expect the same problems.

Seek info and give info freely and equally. Fight fair... to solve problems, not to hurt. If something pisses you off, let 'em know quick, so it doesn't build.

Most of all... make sure he loves his momma. No wait... REALLY MOST OF ALL, DON'T LET HIM BECOME A JW!!!

The interacial stuff is secondary.

CYP

45

DATING 101: Dating Interacially and my opposite: Will it Work Out?

by stillAwitness in

so me and the guy i've been dating finally became offical since last night and its the first time in almost a year since i have been in a relationship.

and for once, i think i may have a winner.

but he is white...and 32...and plays the african drums..and teaches some weird dance in a school for kids having to do with cuban tribal dances..or something or other.

Check_Your_Premises

I can see from both your expiriences that there can be clear distinctions between black and white period.

Some good black/white comparisons have been done recently by Dave Chappelle, on the Chappelle show. There hadn't been any good black/white parity comedy for a long time until he came around.

Some funny noteables were a "Trading Spouses" episode. Dave comes in and the kid is listening to rap. He tells Dave he is from the streets. Next scene is Dave dropping the kid off in "da hood". The bedroom scenes were classic. A few other hysterical observations.

I think Jungle Fever probably did deal with some of the issues that could come up, although it is dated. Look Whose Coming to Dinner probably didn't have any good cultural insights. However the scene where Bernie Mac badgers Ashton Kutcher into telling black jokes has to be a cultural milestone. The laughed at alot of them, but then he went just a little to far. The cultural divide reared up with a vengeance. We've come so far, but so far to go.

Nobodies gramma is going to like an interacial bf/gf. Old people are just racist. They come from a different time.

45

DATING 101: Dating Interacially and my opposite: Will it Work Out?

by stillAwitness in

so me and the guy i've been dating finally became offical since last night and its the first time in almost a year since i have been in a relationship.

and for once, i think i may have a winner.

but he is white...and 32...and plays the african drums..and teaches some weird dance in a school for kids having to do with cuban tribal dances..or something or other.

Check_Your_Premises

Stilla,

Ok, mostly answering cuz you are with a cracka, and I like my women like my coffee.... hot and dark!

With that said, I can say that the cultural differences in general aren't so bad. It depends on how much you are a product of your culture. I find that many black jw's aren't THAT black. But no matter how cosmopolitan we are, we still are influenced in significant, if subtle ways by our culture.

Unfortunately I haven't dated a sister, so I don't have any good ideas for you on traversing the jungle fever thing.

Most of the heat comes from other people. You probably won't get much hassle from his family, if he is as big of a hippy-dippy as you describe. Some white people will likely not like it. But probably at least not to your face. Most polite white folks are scared to death of seeming racist. (of course I have never had to deal with white folks as a black guy, so I could be way off base here) He will probably get more heat from the brothers. I could see a few of them wanting to bust his balls and cock-block a bit when they see you two strolling down the street.

The a-number one thing that determines a successful relationship in my mind is having the same values; having the same ideas about right and wrong. The areas where this is critical and most problematic are in money and parenting. Compare his financial habits to yours. Compare his upbringing to yours. These should be at least compatible. These things sound mundane, but become incredibly important and divisive in the midst of a marriage and family.

The interacial stuff doesn't seem to get in the way to much I have found, if you both have a good sense of humor about it. My wife can do a complete theatrical reading of Coal Miner's Daughter, and bought me SlingBlade on dvd. I refer myself to the foreman of the drywall or landscaping crew. Sometimes I refer to our home as the Alamo. We all have a good laugh about it.

CYP

21

Certainty, truth, and the JW's

by Check_Your_Premises in

pardon me while i think out loud.

this is kind of half baked.

to know truth is perhaps the most illusive and yet most important things.

Check_Your_Premises

If the jw or the Christianity aren't "true", would the jw or Christian want to know it? And by admitting that, does that mean they are willing to renounce their faith?

Does anyone have any thoughts on the second question?

By admitting this, do they risk their salvation, since it is based on faith in Christ (or the organization for the individual jw)?

CYP

21

Certainty, truth, and the JW's

by Check_Your_Premises in

pardon me while i think out loud.

this is kind of half baked.

to know truth is perhaps the most illusive and yet most important things.

Check_Your_Premises

To know truth is perhaps the most illusive and yet most important things.

That depends on who you are. Truth is not equally important to all people. It's one reason people with symptoms of a serious illness can avoid going to the doctor, for fear of what the doctor might find, until it's too late. The 'what I don't know can't hurt me' syndrome.

I guess I meant this in general terms. It is illusive due to our limitations and flaws. It is important because I believe to live in opposition to truth will always lead to long term devastation. True, short term benefits can be derived from certainty. Think of Nazi Germany, or any mass movement. Who can doubt the power of people with a purpose. JW's often claim they must have the truth because they are so successful. I think the only thing more powerful than someone utterly convinced they have the truth is someone living according to actual truth. I probably should have said "most desireable things" instead of "most important things".

The power of truth and knowledge are unmistakeable.
In the large-scale picture, I agree. On an individual basis, though... denial is a powerful tool, too.

I don't know if it is a macro/micro thing so much as maybe a long term/short term thing. I think in the long term, delusion ALWAYS devastates.

Thanks for the thoughts!

CYP

21

Certainty, truth, and the JW's

by Check_Your_Premises in

pardon me while i think out loud.

this is kind of half baked.

to know truth is perhaps the most illusive and yet most important things.

Check_Your_Premises

Forgive me. Im growing and morphing daily.

I know that feeling... eventually it starts to taper off some. You get so you are pretty sure about a few things, you have some pretty good ideas about the best ways to go about things, you are way to humble to ever again think you got it all figured out, and you are ok with not knowing all the answers. You are finally content to know that the good Lord does know all the answers, and he will let you in on things in His own good time.

Thanks so much for letting me vent Anewme. I can' t tell you how cathartic it was. I just have to remember that there is another person on the end reading the massive emotional dump.

Love you too.

CYP

37

Say hello to the new guy

by osmosis in

jw
friends

i found this web site while researching jws (my immediate family on my dad's side is jw, except for my dad, who was subjected to the programming from birth, and who seems to be caught in some strange world between the jw world and the real one).. for the most part, these are decent, kind, loving people.

the only problem is that they are jws!.

i myself am atheist, so in theory i should them to be atheist also, but i'd gladly settle for steering them into a different form of christianity.. anything but jw.

Check_Your_Premises

Welcome.

Helping people out of cults is an art not a science. Before you talk can try to open their eyes to their cult, you have to understand cults.

I recommend Combatting Cult Mind Control and Releasing the Bonds both by Steven Hassan.

Just remember, nobody can "get someone out of a cult". The best you can do is try to help them have a different perspective, and if they are willing they will walk out the door. No matter how long they have been in though, there is a part of them that will always yearn to be free.

CYP

21

Certainty, truth, and the JW's

by Check_Your_Premises in

pardon me while i think out loud.

this is kind of half baked.

to know truth is perhaps the most illusive and yet most important things.

Check_Your_Premises

Thank you GGG and WP for your comments. You guys were on my list of people I hoped would read this.

CYP

21

Certainty, truth, and the JW's

by Check_Your_Premises in

pardon me while i think out loud.

this is kind of half baked.

to know truth is perhaps the most illusive and yet most important things.

Check_Your_Premises

The Myth of Certainty, by Daniel Taylor - The Reflective Christian & the Risk of Commitment.

I spotted that one on an Amazon search one time. If you recommend it I will get it! Screw Oprah! I subscribe to the UBM book club! I absolutely love your last recommendation, although I think (at least from what I read so far) McLaren left the myth of certainty fairly untouched... other than to acknowledge the difficult balance of knowledge and faith.

CYP

Check_Your_Premises

Posts by Check_Your_Premises