Posts by unique

36

IN LOVE & CONFUSED

by unique in

here is my dilemma - short and to the point, need advice.

i met a man several months ago who is jw and we hit it off from the first night we met - (met in lounge) - and then spoke to him on a few occasions.

he admitted to me the first night we went out that he was married, at first i wasn't sure if i should pursue this, then he just swept me off my feet.

unique

Emma,

Just wanted to share with you since you seem to be wise, and have thoughtful words.

Our relationship has not been built on deceit at all. He has never lied to me, and he has never bad mouthed his wife at all not once.

36

IN LOVE & CONFUSED

by unique in

here is my dilemma - short and to the point, need advice.

i met a man several months ago who is jw and we hit it off from the first night we met - (met in lounge) - and then spoke to him on a few occasions.

he admitted to me the first night we went out that he was married, at first i wasn't sure if i should pursue this, then he just swept me off my feet.

unique

Doubtfully yours -

I do believe he is leading a double life. Not only with me, but with everything around him - job, social events, sports etc.

I cannot put it into perspective, and I do not wear blinders - but I told him that it isn't that he has to decide between his wife and I - because as far as I can see he has to decide whether he is JW or if he is going to be an ex-JW. His wife even told him that if he is DFd or expelled whatever the term is that is used she chooses JW, and that would be it.

I hate to say it but I kinda think that is what he is hanging onto - the fact that however the situation prevails he may not have to make a choice at all because the WT can make it for him.

All I can say is that I love this man - and have assured him that I am there for him, if he decides to stay in the JW then we will probably part ways but remain friends, if he chooses not to I am there to endure the trials and tribulations that lay ahead of us.

ONE DAY AT A TIME, that is all I can say....Thanks everyone I appreciate your feedback, and believe me it will make great starter conversations.

36

IN LOVE & CONFUSED

by unique in

here is my dilemma - short and to the point, need advice.

i met a man several months ago who is jw and we hit it off from the first night we met - (met in lounge) - and then spoke to him on a few occasions.

he admitted to me the first night we went out that he was married, at first i wasn't sure if i should pursue this, then he just swept me off my feet.

unique

Crazy Drinker -

I appreciate your explanation-

However, I don't live in a glass box where everything is perfect and am the person I am because of mistakes I have made - each one I am sure has taught me a life lesson.

But, I would rather love and lose than to have not loved at all.

Yes, this isn't right, but you know what LIfe is too short - If I died tomorrow - would I have any regrets? ABSOLUTELY NOT.....

36

IN LOVE & CONFUSED

by unique in

here is my dilemma - short and to the point, need advice.

i met a man several months ago who is jw and we hit it off from the first night we met - (met in lounge) - and then spoke to him on a few occasions.

he admitted to me the first night we went out that he was married, at first i wasn't sure if i should pursue this, then he just swept me off my feet.

unique

Crazy Drinker - HOW DO YOU THINK SHE FEELS??

Although I do believe she knows........She does know about me, and that I am a part of her husbands life she is just not aware to the extent. Does it make me feel better - ABSOLUTELY NOT.

However, I came to this site for advice, and to try and understand the JW better. Not to be bashed!!!!!

36

IN LOVE & CONFUSED

by unique in

here is my dilemma - short and to the point, need advice.

i met a man several months ago who is jw and we hit it off from the first night we met - (met in lounge) - and then spoke to him on a few occasions.

he admitted to me the first night we went out that he was married, at first i wasn't sure if i should pursue this, then he just swept me off my feet.

unique

How do you fade successfully??

Is DA disassociating? Do you think that is what he is doing? Appears to be a bit I guess - so does that make it easier?

36

IN LOVE & CONFUSED

by unique in

here is my dilemma - short and to the point, need advice.

i met a man several months ago who is jw and we hit it off from the first night we met - (met in lounge) - and then spoke to him on a few occasions.

he admitted to me the first night we went out that he was married, at first i wasn't sure if i should pursue this, then he just swept me off my feet.

unique

Satanus-

Thanks that is appreciated. I have heard about the book.

Yes he has two daughters, he has sat them down and let them know that he is not attending meetings etc with them, they have been asked questions by other children as to where their father is? why doesn' t he come to meetings with you etc. It is hard on them.

What is deprogramming (self-explanatory)? How does it work? I do agree that he is a good candidate.

I should also let you know that we have celebrated easter, birthdays, and valentines day with each other exchanging cards, gifts, and flowers.

36

IN LOVE & CONFUSED

by unique in

here is my dilemma - short and to the point, need advice.

i met a man several months ago who is jw and we hit it off from the first night we met - (met in lounge) - and then spoke to him on a few occasions.

he admitted to me the first night we went out that he was married, at first i wasn't sure if i should pursue this, then he just swept me off my feet.

unique

I have read other posts, and have found them helpful in understanding.

However, I guess one thing that puzzles me is:

I realize that JW is world wide - what are some rules that apply to Americans that don't to Canadians or vice versa. I am from Canada, and most replies or issues that have been raised have been by people from the US or Great Britain. I found a site that listed things JWs couldn't do, or things they could do but would be looked down on, and it was American. I questioned him about some of these and he stated that some of them were false - which is why I am curious is there a difference??

36

IN LOVE & CONFUSED

by unique in

here is my dilemma - short and to the point, need advice.

i met a man several months ago who is jw and we hit it off from the first night we met - (met in lounge) - and then spoke to him on a few occasions.

he admitted to me the first night we went out that he was married, at first i wasn't sure if i should pursue this, then he just swept me off my feet.

unique

OK I am certain he is baptized - never really asked I will tonight though, I am assuming he is though because his entire family is JW, including mother, sister etc.

So what happens really when you are disfellowshipped? who decides?

Or what ramifications are his children facing/wife right now with him rebelling and disassociating himself from the organization right now?

HELP....I want insight. I need to understand this man.

36

IN LOVE & CONFUSED

by unique in

here is my dilemma - short and to the point, need advice.

i met a man several months ago who is jw and we hit it off from the first night we met - (met in lounge) - and then spoke to him on a few occasions.

he admitted to me the first night we went out that he was married, at first i wasn't sure if i should pursue this, then he just swept me off my feet.

unique

Here is my dilemma - short and to the point, need advice.

I met a man several months ago who is JW and we hit it off from the first night we met - (met in lounge) - and then spoke to him on a few occasions. He admitted to me the first night we went out that he was married, at first I wasn't sure if I should pursue this, then he just swept me off my feet. We have been intimate with each other on several occasions, and we have even taken holidays together. I am head over heels in love with this man. He says that his marriage is over, he just says it isn't that easy to leave.

He has distant himself from the JW - he does not attend meetings, attend conventions, or even study with his family. He has made the elders, and his family aware that he doesn't agree with several things and that it isn't for him. He wears cologne, jeans, grows a goutee, drinks, has the occasional cigarette, attends and participates in social activities with worldly people/organizations. Since we have been dating, I have had to poke and prod for him to communicate with me. Is this something JW doesn't want members to do - communicate? He is good at keeping things locked up inside, but with my coaxing he is starting to blossom. I know he loves me, and I tell him right now I am comfortable with the situation the way it is because it is convenient. I get perks from the relationship as well besides intimacy.

He really is a wonderful man, he has little faith in himself though, he is so surprised that I could love him so much, that I would even try to learn about JW to try and understand issues that he faces or that are standing in his way.

I am curious to know is JW different in Canada than the US? If so how? As well Im not asking whether I should run or not - my decision to standby him is definate - his biggest fear is that if he leaves the JW that he will be alone, and I have reassured him that he won't be .

Why hasn't the JW disfellowshipped him? It's obvious to me by his actions that he has and is definately rebelling this has been going on for several months now. Are Elders blind?