I think what great teacher said is right, I do want to meet these elders. So I know who is prying into my private life. Heres a question for you guys... do I have the 'right' to ask to speak to these elders privately? I dont want them speaking to my wife without me present regarding our marriage/sex life. And if so how do I go about this? Do I approach them outside the hall, ie phoning them, or do I approach them at the hall etc?
rathernotsay
JoinedPosts by rathernotsay
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61
KH 1st timer, could use some advice
by rathernotsay inhey people, .
i am soon going into a kh for the first time and i could use some advice around etiquette etc.
i know next to nothing besides the fundamental beliefs of jws, i personally dont believe in any religion, and that stance isnt ever going to change, however i don't want to come across as rude or disrespectful.
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61
KH 1st timer, could use some advice
by rathernotsay inhey people, .
i am soon going into a kh for the first time and i could use some advice around etiquette etc.
i know next to nothing besides the fundamental beliefs of jws, i personally dont believe in any religion, and that stance isnt ever going to change, however i don't want to come across as rude or disrespectful.
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rathernotsay
@slave4... that is some funny shit. Always good to start a day with a laugh. Thanks.
@morpheus... yeah I agree theres disconnected thoughts there. But please considet that my head has been all over the show since it all happened. I considered asking her to leave more to prove her loyalty. I can now see that this isnt thr right approach for a number of reasons. Largely as her friends and family would shun her, which would make her miserable, and the kids would be without their grandparents who they love so dearly. I can see this was a silly idea.
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61
KH 1st timer, could use some advice
by rathernotsay inhey people, .
i am soon going into a kh for the first time and i could use some advice around etiquette etc.
i know next to nothing besides the fundamental beliefs of jws, i personally dont believe in any religion, and that stance isnt ever going to change, however i don't want to come across as rude or disrespectful.
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rathernotsay
@roberto... yes she was, however she was going off the rails when i met hwr, she got pregnant, defellowshiped, we married, she was reinstated. We went through the same thing with her accepting me as I was, and I not standing between her and her faith.
as far as our kids go they are living reasonably normal lives. I celebrate their birthdays and xmas etc and they will participate fully at school. our 4 yo is even about to start his second season of football.
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61
KH 1st timer, could use some advice
by rathernotsay inhey people, .
i am soon going into a kh for the first time and i could use some advice around etiquette etc.
i know next to nothing besides the fundamental beliefs of jws, i personally dont believe in any religion, and that stance isnt ever going to change, however i don't want to come across as rude or disrespectful.
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rathernotsay
Cheers guys, I guess ill just go to this memorial and wing most of it. Ill stick to my wife and kids like glue and try to only talk to those who I already know. Good to know about the bread and wine thing, although ill be tempted to eat and drink it just for a (I wont but ill be tempted).
@ faye... yep it truely is a wonderful place. Having travelled alot it has me very grateful for my country. We are very lucky.
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61
KH 1st timer, could use some advice
by rathernotsay inhey people, .
i am soon going into a kh for the first time and i could use some advice around etiquette etc.
i know next to nothing besides the fundamental beliefs of jws, i personally dont believe in any religion, and that stance isnt ever going to change, however i don't want to come across as rude or disrespectful.
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rathernotsay
Thanks people, its certainly going to be wierd and i do think it may be hard work to not start rolling my eyes. But ill be on my best behavior lol. I realize these people pride themselves on converting people, my wife being one of them, but if they push too hard ill start pushing back.
I hope she doesnt start trying to get me to study or anything and im sure she wont, it will just cause arguments which we really need to avoid at the moment.
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61
KH 1st timer, could use some advice
by rathernotsay inhey people, .
i am soon going into a kh for the first time and i could use some advice around etiquette etc.
i know next to nothing besides the fundamental beliefs of jws, i personally dont believe in any religion, and that stance isnt ever going to change, however i don't want to come across as rude or disrespectful.
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rathernotsay
Thats kind of what I thought too village idiot, I dont think that I would go down that road anyway. Not that I imagine they have any respect for me anyway, bitut honestly I dont give a shit. I do however give a shit about what they are saying to my my wife and kids, particularly my wife regarding our marriage at the moment. As far as the kids go ill just slowly and subtly tap away at them getting them to question it to the point they see the truth about the truth so to speak.
So just to point it out again, im not being forced to do anything here. I just feel that it would help to know who the elders are and what the inside of the building looks like. Id just like to know if there is certian protocols that I should know before going. Ill probably just stick to my wife and kids like glue or talk to those that know me and where I stand And havent tried shoving it down my throat before
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61
KH 1st timer, could use some advice
by rathernotsay inhey people, .
i am soon going into a kh for the first time and i could use some advice around etiquette etc.
i know next to nothing besides the fundamental beliefs of jws, i personally dont believe in any religion, and that stance isnt ever going to change, however i don't want to come across as rude or disrespectful.
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rathernotsay
She didnt ask me to come I said I would. She did however suggest the idea of me going to the memorial instead.
I honestly dont believe she is going to try drag me back again. She knows how I feel about it and that view wont change. I also realise im not really going to get to know these elders in one meeting, id just at the least like to know what they look like. It has been suggested to me that I request a meeting with them and explain that our children are being raised with an open mind, as I still celebrate their birthdays and my family still celebrate xmas. I also (pperhaps I am being a bit niave) that the people at her KH are unlikely to try and convice me to start studying, as ive said I know a number of them and they all know my stance
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61
KH 1st timer, could use some advice
by rathernotsay inhey people, .
i am soon going into a kh for the first time and i could use some advice around etiquette etc.
i know next to nothing besides the fundamental beliefs of jws, i personally dont believe in any religion, and that stance isnt ever going to change, however i don't want to come across as rude or disrespectful.
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rathernotsay
I understand why people are telling me not to go. Personally I agree that it is nonsense. For example I know she is putting the infidelity down to satan, and is now patting herself on the back for beating him. Bloddy ridiculous really. However I have never stopped her going and dont feel that I have that right.
When I said that I would come along I made it explicitly clear that I am not going to start studying or believing. She just laughed and said she knows that and wont even bother trying to convince me otherwise. It really is more about me learning who these people are particularly the elders.
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61
KH 1st timer, could use some advice
by rathernotsay inhey people, .
i am soon going into a kh for the first time and i could use some advice around etiquette etc.
i know next to nothing besides the fundamental beliefs of jws, i personally dont believe in any religion, and that stance isnt ever going to change, however i don't want to come across as rude or disrespectful.
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rathernotsay
Hi neverknew,
Thatd probably a good idea, however where we live in would find it hard to go to a hall where noone knew me. We live in rural new zealand and there are only 3 halls here. One my wife attends, one her sister and brother inlaw attend and the other her parents attend. Also as she has moved between the 3 I know people from each. Not a bad suggestion though. Thanks
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61
KH 1st timer, could use some advice
by rathernotsay inhey people, .
i am soon going into a kh for the first time and i could use some advice around etiquette etc.
i know next to nothing besides the fundamental beliefs of jws, i personally dont believe in any religion, and that stance isnt ever going to change, however i don't want to come across as rude or disrespectful.
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rathernotsay
Thanks s.i.a.r,
Yeah I dont think ill bother trying to make too much sense of the doctrines. Its all rather nonsensical to me.
Your point about conditional friends is an interesting one. As she has been a witness since I have known her (besides being breifly defellowshiped when she was pregnant with our first), I have gotten to know a few JWs that she is friends with outside the hall. Most of which have been great and fun people to be around, having barbecues and beers etc. They dont seem to judge me and dont put any pressure on me to become a JW.
However since the cheating I have been checking her phone at night and found theres a couple I have had little to do with that have invited her to dinner but asked that I not come as its only going to be JWs there. Particularly one that I have since found out is married to one of the elders. Not that this bothers me much of course but its just nice to know where people stand.