So I wanted to come back here and post the reply that I got to the "manifesto" that I posted initially. Remember, this was in response to this elder/pioneer serving where the need is greater that listens to my podcasts and all kinds of apostate stuff. He knows all about the UN, Crisis of Conscience, etc. He is the most unique JW I've ever spoken to, and the fact that he sought me out and has been so nice without trying to be preachy is an anomaly. I could give some more personal details but I'd never want to out the guy or even risk it, and he's been through a lot in the organization that he is still an admitted apologist for. But his question to me was about why I don't believe in god anymore. I answered as in the first post here, and most of his response to that part in particular is below:
So, why am I a Jdub? Well my faith & belief, my mother is a reason, my family another,
Obviously you know the structure so, friends in the congregation as well.
What do I believe this to be? It’s my choice, I put faith in it because I choose to.
Mike we could go back and forth with arguments, objections, reasonings etc all day long and we both would be where we are.
Here is my truth, or my view on it.
First of all I choose to believe in something beyond me, a higher power, an intelligence.
It’s easier and for me & a smaller leap of faith to believe it’s all created rather then arising from nothing.
I choose to believe that the bible is a supernatural book, it can and does change lives.
I think from what I see and hear that we are in the last days, now who will God save?
Will we be in paradise treading on billions of dead bodies? I can’t imagine that, Jesus did say you will by no means complete the circuit of cities before He arrived.
So not everyone will know or hear about the message. Which means they’re in Gods hands. The Israelites left Egypt with some Egyptians, pagan people who at the last minute saw Jehovah was the true God.
For me this hasn’t been easy at times, that’s an understatement, but it’s given me a good life, I’ve stayed with my family, not left them as my father did, I have a happy marriage, I have a few true and genuine friends, about 5. Lots of other acquaintances.
I love people, I love helping people, it’s the way I’m wired, and if someone comes to me with a problem because they feel guilty and the need to self report, it actually happened just this week, I will always say either don’t worry I’ve done that too, or if I can’t say that I will try to understand them and reassure them of my love and sympathy.
I’ve never pulled rank or thrown my weight around as an “elder” it’s an ugly abuse of power.
I don’t feel guilty when I take a holiday or a day off or visit a cathedral, or watch things a lot wouldn’t, play tomb raider etc, plus communicating with you, I’ve got my own mind on things.
Listening to your stories makes me think the truth is a bit different in the states, stricter, more severe.
The way we’ve raised our family is the same as my mother raised me, plus i would add I don’t take myself at all seriously, we laugh at Steven letts rubber face & have fun pausing him & trying the same expressions, some things we hear and are taught we like & agree with, others we don’t & wait to see how things turn out. Many of us in my local Cong and family said right at the beginning that overlapping generations thing is going to have to change. I’m in no way a perfectionist and I don’t expect that of others.
I’m sure there are loads of disfellowshipped ones going to survive the end/be resurrected, I serve a loving God not a high performance demanding one.I honestly have watched a lot of the YouTube videos, John Cedars, “wake up testaments” etc. and I’m thinking hmmm they were all guilt tripped growing up, or felt that they were never good enough, that’s not been my experience, and I think maybe it’s more of an American thing than an English thing, I suppose were more cynical over here? If anyone I talk to ever expresses that to me I just reassure them what they’re already doing is enough, because it is. If they want to do more good for them, if not good for them, we can’t earn salvation through any amount of work.I’m happy where I am at the moment, I know about the UN scandal, and other things etc.However I think being a Jdub has been good for me, most of the people I come across are genuine, yes there are some Judas like Jdubs, we protect ourselves by avoiding troubled ones, we’ve been in a few congregations and the basic group mentality is the same, some high performers, some slackers, some genuine, some troubled.
Anyway mate that’s me so far on this day of this crazy life.
What if we get to the end of it, die & there is nothing for eternity? What if what I’m doing is a load of rubbish? What if we evolved?
For me the good outweighs the bad, I see people change for the better in many ways,
Me too. It’s a good way of life for me, so for now I’m sticking with it.