Where is uncle bruce?
I miss his practical humour and wit?
Anglise
i've just been looking back over some of the old posts and remembering some of the people we have had on the forum, been friends with and now miss.. one of the down-sides of running a place like this is that it becomes harder and harder to really 'get to know' many of the new ones like it was at first and i'm often working on the system and seeing so many names that they sometimes almost become a blur.
sometimes i see a post by a name i don't recognise and they've already made 100+ or so posts !.
many people are bound to move on eventually (although we're lucky to have a good bunch of 'regulars') and it's unfortunate that some are put off posting by personality clashes (possibly mine!
Where is uncle bruce?
I miss his practical humour and wit?
Anglise
for married couples who ended up leaving the jws together, which spouse broke from the jws first?
what was your reaction to your spouse leaving at first?
what made you decide to finally leave with your spouse?.
Good point Scully. It was this premise that bought us into the org over 20 years ago.
Off course back then there wasnt the information so easily available to be able to double check what the JW's were telling us.
I did plough through a couple of their more obscure books "Legally establishing and defending the good news" and the first book on their history, cant remember the name but is was written as a question and answer dialogue (An A4 dark green book I seem to remember), but off course there wasnt anything in them to ring warning bells.
Fortunately that same attitude stayed with us and although we remained for about 18 years-other half was an elder-we still remained open minded (thank goodness).
We as a family used to openly discuss the unchristian attitudes we saw displayed. This was in the later years once the children became teenagers.
We also used to discuss the contents of the meeting on the way home in the car and more times than not the fact that a specific point had gone counter to an item given recently. ie Make quality time for your children, Do more in the field service, Is your home and garden as neat and well run as the Bethel-It should be, and many less thoughtful elders would use such items to bully the cong especially sisters in divided homes.
We made sure our children saw these things as they happened but my husband never betrayed a confidence as regards any elders meetings etc.
Over the last 4 years we have gradually withdrawn totally from the org and no one has come to see us to ask why
During this time we have researched the society on the internet and bought both of Ray Franz's books.
I suppose for us the thing was always being honest with each other and loving each other with complete trust.
We came in as a family.
We left as a family.
there was an illustration given in the "family" book on how to give your children more freedom as they grew up.
the illustration was of holding a spring in the palm of your hand.
if you were to suddenly release the spring, it would bounce off in every direction with no control what so ever.
Hi Ballistic
I can relate to your last thoughts.
We really did "make the truth our own". This to the extent that when talking over various JW truths with those still in we have been told that we "took it too seriously".
I a suppose I was wrong to believe that what the org said was true and that everybody else was following it as best as they where able, to the letter.
It seems with hindsight that very few actually truly believe and practise what they are told.
We thought we where doing Jehovahs will and that he could see our thought and actions wether others in the cong could or not and so always tried to live up to those high ideals (fools that we were).
It took 18 years for us to realise otherwise.
We were old enough, and by then a little wiser, to realise that you dont need to try things personally to know wether they are a good idea or not but we did have discussions with our grown children about the various things that they might want to try out.
The spring illustration doesnt really hold true. The control has to come from within yourself and not external pressures that force conformity. Only then do you gain a fully rounded outlook to life.
But this takes time and love and guidance from someone you love not from an organization that holds you in its clutches through emotional blackmail. Truly a prison without bars.
and no cheating by searching on the internet!.
a man my age is very young so i'm told.
why do i feel so old.
Hi Puffsrule
Thats Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen
Edited by - anglise on 15 June 2002 16:26:37
the following is a letter i recieved to day on the silentlambs email.
it seems brothers and sisters are becoming more willing to speak out on this matter.
silentlambs
Thanks for posting this Bill.
Is there some way that this brave sister can read the replies here.
All of us who have finally seen the WTBTS for what it really is - a power crazy religious publishing company and nothing more- know that many of us had harboured doubts on varied things in the past but there was something that finally set us free mentally.
That something is differant for each one of us but it finally allowed us the mental and emotional freedom to step back and really look at this arrogant empire.
I hope this sister has lots of support and help in her journey out..
Thankyou again Bill.
A
when i was a young kid of approximately 7 years old, i seem to recollect memories of 'encouragement' by the society for jw's to sell their properties, their homesteads, am i right in thinking this?
and if so, how many here were affected adversely by such decisions either on the part of their parents or who directly sold their houses thinking that the end was imminently nigh?
can anyone refresh my memory?
We came in the in early 80's and it was made clear by certains ones that those with mortgages where investing in satans system and the more spiritual way would be to rent a flat (nothing too big) until the big A, and of course take a job with less hours and pioneer.
Of course if you where renting and earning less money no problem beacause the social security would pay the bills that you could so your family wouldnt starve or be homeless. That was always put across as 'Jehovah providing'.
We are thankful that although we followed a lot of things we kept our house and the skilled job that my husband had qualified for.
I suppose that loyal dubs would say that is the reason we are now Xdubs lol.
A
i would like to share with you some points.. when reading the wtbs inc. publications one wonders how it is possible to publish.
opinions , ideas , viewpoints , understandings etc .
and present them as ...correct words of truth .. as it was stated, for example in a watchtower article almost 12 years ago :.
Thankyou for this JCMac.
your research as usual is scholarly. This is one for keeping.
Well done.
Keep up the good work-but dont forget to have time off occasionally lol
just a thought,.
why is that the society shout about their boe letters as though they prove right motives and attitude from the gb.. surely due to the fact that 99% of these letters are only read to the elders in their secret meetings the really important information is not available to the r&f witness.. this means that someone trying to work out how to approach the subject of being molested in the past and what to do about it will in those early crucial stages of any decision only have recourse to the information in the "open" publications.. they will "do research" as the loyal dub is encouraged to do and wont find anything to give them support and help.. would the elders give them access to the boe files?
we all know the answer to that.. this is another example of the double dealing of the org from the top down, especially as all jw's are judged by the elders according to the content of these secret letters.
Just a thought,
Why is that the society shout about their BoE letters as though they prove right motives and attitude from the GB.
Surely due to the fact that 99% of these letters are only read to the elders in their secret meetings the really important information is not available to the R&F witness.
This means that someone trying to work out how to approach the subject of being molested in the past and what to do about it will in those early crucial stages of any decision only have recourse to the information in the "open" publications.
They will "do research" as the loyal dub is encouraged to do and wont find anything to give them support and help.
Would the elders give them access to the BoE files? We all know the answer to that.
This is another example of the double dealing of the org from the top down, especially as all JW's are judged by the elders according to the content of these secret letters.
i recall that it's been mentioned in passing here on a few threads that there are locks on the bethel rooms.
this to me is significant, since when i was there in the sixties, there were none, and this wasa source of considerable pride in some circles.. can someone confirm, please?.
during my day, they caught one bethel thief, a guy whose dad was a prominent circuit overseer who served in nyc at the time.
We were told by someone who was at Gilead a few years ago that in some areas the congs have to pay 'protection money' to the local heavies and that this is OK'd from the top.
Dont know if its true
yesterday i received a surprise phone call from my jw friend.
we met up and uhhh, it was quite the mind-blowing event.
i can't believe it.
Hi detective
You are quite right to be cautious.
We gradually pulled away from the org taking probably about 2-3 years but I can only say that now with hindsight.We had begun to look at things with a more critical/discerning eye.
At the time it was also just getting more and more difficult to do everything that was expected of us especially as a family with grown up children - 2 still at home then - both of us working and other half an elder.
We had also seen much unkindness and hypocrisy in the local congs.
Even though we eventually came to the realization that we didnt really want to be in the org anymore when we first stopped going regularly we couldnt have sat down and given anybody hard and fast evidence as to what was wrong with the JW teachings and philosphy.
It was only once the physical shackles started to loosen a little that we even allowed ourselves to look on the internet for any info about the JW's,(even though using the WWW for other things including our business) the dub mental control and guilt is hard to break through.
But even then it took time to build up a complete picture and for quite a few months after stopping attending completely I couldnt cope with even opening a WT or AW mag in case it "got to me again".
We where still getting the literaure regularly as our children were still going to the meetings.
IMHO it is like coming into the org but in reverse. You have to be able to proof it wrong to yourself and really be sure of that before you can even contemplate making a statement to others about leaving.
Remember the counsel about a new BS being able to learn Matt 24 v14 or Rev 21 and explain it simply but with conviction to their unbelieving families etc and how to start with such small things and build from there.
Help your friend to do the same with the information you can teach him about the org ie UN, 607, blood and Bulgaria, Malawi and Mexico,
Dateline.
Find out what would appeal and make the most sense to him personally and start with that issue. It could also be something more simple such as how he has been treated by them.
Sorry if this goes on a bit but I hope some of it helps.
Please feel free to email me.
A