i have a friend whos a jw and last october we started to hang out together (just us two).
everything was fine, we'd talk, watch movies etc.
then i started to feel different towards him, i started to like him.
hey guys!
so its been well over a year since i came to this site and sought help. well, i'd just like to say thanks again to everyone! you guys were right, with time.. my pain did heal. the jw guy i was seeing back then? well, we're just acquaintaces now.
and im now in a very happy and stable relationship, and my bf and i are almost approaching our 1 year anniversary. so happy :)
love,
amethyst
xoxoxoxoxox
i have a friend whos a jw and last october we started to hang out together (just us two).
everything was fine, we'd talk, watch movies etc.
then i started to feel different towards him, i started to like him.
its been well over a month since my last post.
i think that quite a lot has happened in that small time frame.
ive now dropped out of college. the course of study was not something i wanted to base my time in.
i took anti-depressants. to be honest, the medication didnt help. i'd take it in the morning, then throughout the day i'd be fine. i'd feel burdenless. then as night approaches i'd begin to stare into space.
-kinda like taking small dosages of ecstacy.
well im off that now. it helped me realise that i dont need to be on medication to get well. that all i really needed was someone to talk to. and having talked it through, i felt better. not immediately, but gradually through time.
remember how i said i got strict parents n stuff? well, they're being very supportive. they're not shunning me for discontinuing my studies.
for crying out loud, my parents (and aunts and uncles etc) thought i was prostituting before! they sure caught me way off guard with that thought. i admit ive been a tad crazy lately. doing and saying things that i shouldnt be. but hey, i think im mentally back on track now.
things between my ex and i are sorta weird at the moment. u see after we broke up and agreed to be friends etc and no sex. well, we've been seeing each other every now and then and doing things we shouldnt be.
i allow him to do those things to me because i like him still. but im not sure if he still likes me back. whether or not its me his still interested in, or my body.
im not sure wat to do. its like we're having some sort of sexual relationship outside the confines of 'friendship', but inside the confines of 'bf/gf relationship.
advice?
i have a friend whos a jw and last october we started to hang out together (just us two).
everything was fine, we'd talk, watch movies etc.
then i started to feel different towards him, i started to like him.
You are right. People can't just shut off their emotions. If anything, one person will be holding back their feelings for the other person. And I think that he is holding back . His keeping his distance from me and I know that it is for the good, but this just hurts me more. Knowing he likes me still but is pulling away.
Aunthill
I?ve cut my losses. Im not going out with anymore. But I cant make a permanent break with him.
Talesin
Yes I am 19, but no I cant leave home. I am the eldest daughter in the family and have only one younger brother. My parents are strict. They also still think very traditionally. But I would love to live on my own, go thru hard times, learn from mistakes, and be more responsible. My parents nurture me too much and they don?t know that I need to grow up on my own now ? I always tell them that but they just get upset and etc and then theres a cycle of quarrels.
Perhaps you are right. That it has been infatuation all along and not love. But I don?t think that what I felt for him was infatuation?
I?ve read a bit about the disfellowship. I asked him long ago, ?what would happen if the elders or anyone knew about us?? and he said that he would probably get some sort of warning. I know he knows the consequences, perhaps that?s why he agreed when we decided to be just close friends and not bf/gf. At least that way he wouldn?t be that severely punished? Im not sure.
William Penwell
I highly doubt he will leave the WTS. I know he was baptised around the age of 10 or 11, and that his parents divorced when he was 13 or 14. He has been left scarred emotionally (esp. by his dads actions upon the family members) and I think that from 1998 til now?he has not moved on. This is one of the reasons why im willing to be by his side, because I want to help him. I want him to be happy and not be constantly occupied with thoughts that will only make him feel more miserable. And also, because of his parents split, u got to remember that it was the fellow JW?s of the community that helped his family get by.
Plus, I doubt he?d try to convert me. There was this one time where we first spoke of his religion, and it was that time that he told me we couldn?t go out because im not a JW. That night I looked in his eyes and I knew it hurt him to say that to me. Anyways, he even said so himself that he didn?t want to preach me when I asked about his religion?so yeh I don?t think he?d try converting me.
Sentinel
You too are probably partly correct there.
And to everyone else that commented, thankyou. It was ur knowledge and experience that had impacted on my decision to break up with him. And... it was ur advice and support thats helping me this healing process.
i have a friend whos a jw and last october we started to hang out together (just us two).
everything was fine, we'd talk, watch movies etc.
then i started to feel different towards him, i started to like him.
ok i was wrong. dead wrong.
today i went to college feeling all crap. it felt like something had drain out all the energy in me. then whilst im in class i feel like im gonna throw up, and i did. anyways my vomitting has got nothing to do with what im feeling now.
tonight i called him and we spoke like normal friends. only thing was i think i was real transparent. wat i mean is i felt so high, i had so many things to say to him, as if he were someone i hadnt seen for years. i was on such a happy note that i think he probably knew it wasnt me talking. and u know what? it wasnt. i put on this mask to cover up what i was feeeling.
what im feeling is pain. i miss him terribly.
we talked about this new relationship between us, and i told him that last night i was OK with it all. but now, it just seems wrong. doesnt seem right. its not what i want. what i want is still him.
i found myself thinking up excuses to see him. for example his taking next wednesday off work, and i asked whether he wanted to go see a movie. i know it was stupid of me to do that, but i had to. i cant let him go. ive grown so close to him, and the funny thing is, we both live behind each other. but despite that, we hardly saw much of each other when we were going out. cos he had to hide it from his family, and i, well i had to hide it from my parents, as im not allowed to date guys.
i know u are all fed up with this. giving me all that advice and me not taking any of it in. im really thankful, and really sorry. i know im only hurting myself this way but i really cant and dont know how to let go of him.
i have a friend whos a jw and last october we started to hang out together (just us two).
everything was fine, we'd talk, watch movies etc.
then i started to feel different towards him, i started to like him.
Thankyou very much for all ur responses.
I have good news. Tonight i went over to my bfs place and it was really awkward at first. But we slowly started talking...talked until i stood up and walked out of his room. As i was half way down the stairs he told me to wait. So i stopped. I was pissed off etc and just said to forget everything cos its over. He didnt stop me walking outta the house. I walked to the park and cried there. Then i got up and was going to walk home, but stopped at his door step and rang his doorbell. He opened tthe door and i just hugged him and cried. We went upstairs and started to talk properly about everything. I know he has problems, and i told him i was willing to be by his side and help him get through it all.
So we made up. But whilst in each others arms, things didnt feel right. And then we both agreed to have a physical relationship. Cos when we both thought about it, maybe we both got together not because we liked each other but because we enjoyed each others company. So me and him are now close friends. Theres no emotions in the equation, besides the love that a friend feels for another. Theres also no sex involved.
And to be honest, i feel much better, much alleviated. Like ive got everything off my chest and im breathing in clean crisp air.
i have a friend whos a jw and last october we started to hang out together (just us two).
everything was fine, we'd talk, watch movies etc.
then i started to feel different towards him, i started to like him.
ok i just need some advice/views on this.
i have a friend whos a JW and last october we started to hang out together (just us two). everything was fine, we'd talk, watch movies etc. then i started to feel different towards him, i started to like him. there were things he'd done and said which pretty much gave me the impression that he liked me too.
then one night we went to the movies and he had his arm around me etc, it was like we were going out. i didnt get his arm off or anything cos i liked how we were. after the movie he drove me home and it was like nothing had happened. the following night we talked about it and it was for certain that we liked each other. he then had to go interstate for work and before he left he said he had something to tell me and that it wasnt good news. he said he had to tell me face to face, so i waited til he came back. when he was back he didnt mention anything about it until i had to ask him about it.
it turns out that he couldnt go out with me cos im not a JW. that really hurt me. then days and weeks would follow and i couldnt get over him, i still liked him and by this time i had fallen much deeper for him. so i conffronted him and said 'were young , we're not getting married, why dont we just go out and see how things go, i mean things might not even work out etc'. he said he needed time to think so 2 days later he replied and said yes and now we're both going out.
ive also been suffering from deprssion for the past few years and ive pretty much been anti-social, til he came along. just recently he told me he was still trying to get over his childhood crush (we're both 19) and at first i was ok with it. then i started to replay everything i started to get annoyed. i asked myself, "is he with me because he was lonely back in last october and i happened to comfort him? am i replacing that girl?".
anyways now im really stuck. i want to end this relationship because it seems like its getting nowhere. im always depressed, and so is he. but i really like him and cant bare the thought of losing him.
advice?
