Did your relationship change with your partner when you left.........

by vitty 17 Replies latest jw friends

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  lonelysheep

  ((((tetra))))

  LT, I didn't realize it takes that long to get a apply for a divorce in Scotland!!
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  misspeaches

  {{{Tetra}}}

  Sorry to hear that you are going through a difficult period in your marriage... My thoughts are with you...

  Luv ya guts!
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  atypical

  Mine hasn't so far. I can tell she is sad sometimes when she goes to meeting by herself, and it is hard on her to have everybody pressing her for details as to where I have been, but she has not treated me different. I think it helps that her siblings also left, and she has refused to judge them in any way. I do worry what will happen because I have a hard time keeping my mouth shut, especially the more I learn. I'm just trying to show her that contrary to what she will be told, I will continue to be a good mate (probably better) even if I am not at meetings.

  Tetra, I am sorry for what you are going through. I enjoy your posts.
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  vitty

  
  

  So, the pattern seems to be that if just one of you leaves, your marrage suffers. I can understand that because when my husband wanted out, I really hated him ! I also considered separating.

  Ive seen it happen over and over.

  ((((((((hugs ))))))))) to all of you who are having a bad time
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  I quit!

  Everything works back-arsewards for me. I left the dubs and my wife did not........and we have gotten along better in our marriage ever since......go figure. I....like LittleToe, didn't give my wife a bad time over the witnesses except on a few occations when I first exited. I became myself when I left and didn't pretend over many things any longer .....so I feel she likes the' for real' apostate bastard, better than the dub who lived in a make believe world. I was lucky
  
  Gumby
  
  I concur, that is just about how it has been with me.
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  I quit!

  i try to be nice and loving, but my wife is married to jehovah, not to me. and so, after five years, it's on the fritz. she told me the other day after one of her meetings that she thought it would be good if we separate. and at this point, after really wondering how she can say she loves me but that i will also be destroyed shortly by her real husband, jehovah, that perhaps it is a good idea to split up. plus, believe me when i say, that an atheist and a JW really do not have much meaningful fodder for conversation. so yes, it did change with my partner when i left. life sucks sometimes. ts Sorry you have to go through this ts. The brainwashing is so deep they choose fantasyland over real friends and family that care about them. I hope you can work it out but I know how tough it can be.
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  I quit!

  How did that happen. My reply to TS disappeared. I'll try again
  
  TS said:
  
  i try to be nice and loving, but my wife is married to jehovah, not to me. and so, after five years, it's on the fritz. she told me the other day after one of her meetings that she thought it would be good if we separate. and at this point, after really wondering how she can say she loves me but that i will also be destroyed shortly by her real husband, jehovah, that perhaps it is a good idea to split up. plus, believe me when i say, that an atheist and a JW really do not have much meaningful fodder for conversation.
  
  so yes, it did change with my partner when i left.
  
  life sucks sometimes.
  
  ts
  
  Sorry to hear you are going through this. It is hard to deal with when someone is so brainwashed that they choose fantasyland over real friends and family. Often JW ruin their marriage only to realize later how good they had it.
  
  I hope you can work it out.
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  Jourles

  Everything works back-arsewards for me. I left the dubs and my wife did not........and we have gotten along better in our marriage ever since......go figure. I....like LittleToe, didn't give my wife a bad time over the witnesses except on a few occations when I first exited. I became myself when I left and didn't pretend over many things any longer .....so I feel she likes the' for real' apostate bastard, better than the dub who lived in a make believe world. I was lucky

  Ditto here. Life has been soooo much better since I left....well, let me rephrase that - since I was df'd. While I was a witness, even missing an occasional meeting reaped the hellbent fury of guilt-tripping. I got to the point where I almost couldn't stand the whinning anymore. Once I stopped going cold-turkey, she backed off a little on the whinning, and it eventually sank in with her that I wasn't coming back to the meetings. But since I was df'd, wow, what a difference it has made --- for the better.