My grandmother's funeral is going to be in a church

by findingmyway 3 Replies latest jw experiences

  • findingmyway
    findingmyway

    o.k. my mother just called me to tell me the details of the funeral arrangements for my grandmother who passed last Thursday evening...

    [A little background: I am df'd. My parents, siblings and many extended relatives are JWs. One of my father's brothers is a minister in a church and my father and his brother have been battling it out for years over who's church/KH my grandmother should be connected with. The decision has finally been made]...

    Funeral arrangements: the first viewing will be Tuesday evening at an area funeral home; the second viewing will be at my uncle's church preceeding the funeral service at my uncle's church.

    After my mther gave me the info on the funeral arrangements, she mother made a special request. She told me that my uncle's wife would be calling me to see if I wanted to say a few words during the service at the church. She continued: "I can't tell you what to do, but you father has declined to say anything. And, I would ask that you do the same out of respect for your father."

    Now, I'm confused...you can attend the funeral in the church, but you cannot say a few words about your mother, and you want to silence me as well.

    What's wrong with this picture. Here's my take...I would have so much respect for this decision if they didn't do things so half-a$$ed.

    If you are committed to your beliefs all the time in all situations, I would not feel bad about being shunned. My mother will call me if she needs money (not to borrow, but to have), but she won't pick up the phone to say hello, I love you, or I was thinking of you.

    What's up with that?! That is not a bible-trained a conscience...it is a brainwashed mind! I feel sorry for my dad. He cannot utter final words about his mother because he doesn't want to be unfaithful to Jehovah disloyal to the organization. That is just sad.

  • ChrisVance
    ChrisVance

    Yes, it's sad. I don't have any contact with my witness family, so I never hear this kind of BS. You didn't ask for advice, but I think you should say a few words about your grandmother, if you had a close relationship with her. In the same situation I wouldn't give a rat's a$$ about what family members that are shunning me want.

  • Mysterious
    Mysterious

    Tell her you want to speak, out of respect for your grandmother!

  • Gretchen956
    Gretchen956

    I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Here is my take on it: This isn't about your parents, its about your grandmother and your relationship with her and respecting her passing. Tell your parents you'll respect their wishes when their time comes but now is the time to pay your respects to your grandmum. Show them what true love is.

    If thats the only time your parents call (for money), I would personally cut that off. My parents once traveled 1,500 miles from Tucson to eastern Washington to drill me about meeting attendance. I wasn't df'd, but I was "gasp" divorced. I got the lecture about not being able to marry again, yadda yadda yadda and armeggedon ad nauseum. I finally told them that if they were going to be in my house they were going to treat me with respect, if not they could go home. They chose to go home. Make the rules clear to them, it will be the best thing you ever did (IMO).

    Whatever you decide to do, be true to yourself and not coerced.

    Blessings,

    Sherry

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