by nicolaou 17 Replies latest jw experiences
There's some real nasty stuff going on in my family right now - many of my worst fears about being shunned are coming true and I fear for my Mum's health because of all the stress she's under - seriously!
But I just cannot bring myself to discuss it. I'm just so sick and tired of the whole thing...
Yes, I feel the same way most of the time. It all seems so obvious now as to be boring... and beyond that, well... it's boring! (as compared to real life). Anyway, sorry for your troubles.
Sorry for what you're going through right now. I understand what you're saying...sometimes it's good to take a break but remember you can't totally stop talking about it. I have a couple of family members who have (including my mom) and they've made things worse by trying to ignore all of it or shutting down anytime a JW family member or subject is brought up . Anyway, go ahead and take a break but remember to talk about it when you're ready or when it's needed.
I often feel that way myself, actually I have to stop myself coming to this board regularly because I get so down. I have come to acknowledge that my happiest moments in life are when I am not thinking excessively about my JW past.
I am lucky, all my family that are witnesses know my stance on the religion and seem to accept it and me, things may change in the future though, not sure how I would handle that.
I am lucky, all my family that are witnesses know my stance on the religion and seem to accept it and me
That's the problem, my lot don't accept it - they are so judgemental.
[Peppermint, whereabouts in Bedfordshire are you? I'm just over the border.]
I think that is a sign that it's over for you. And it's a good thing.
We found a couple of years ago, that we just aren't interested anymore.
That's the problem, my lot don't accept it - they are so judgemental.
I'd venture to say that this is the case for many people who post here, and why leaving this idiotic little CULT is so torturous for a lot of us.
Having said that, you can only slam your head against the wall - in trying to appease and acquiesce to JW relatives - for so long before you end up hurting yourself. It doesn't hurt anyone else but you. They won't be willing to look at things from any but their own narrow perspective until it causes them significant pain.
This is why I will be boycotting so-called "family" functions where Mr Scully is not welcome. I am not going to teach my kids, or permit them to be taught, that it is ok to exclude their dad and treat him like dirt. If he isn't welcome, then the rest of us opt out. The JW aunts and uncles and grandparents will not be rewarded by having a visit from me and the children while they choose to shun another member of MY family. We've discussed this with the children and they know why we aren't visiting JW relatives anymore, and they are old enough and mature enough to know that it is wrong to exclude a family member from "family" gatherings. They're the ones who said they didn't want to visit unless we were ALL welcome there.
I understand what you mean, and at times it does get wearing. Hiatus' are good when you need them. I take them as needed. But Being a jw is still part of you because it is the past you come from, and it does form who you are now even to a small degree.
-Riot
I went to Al-Anon and ACOA meetings almost every week during the time my parent was actively drinking. The finally went into rehab and stopped drinking a day at a time. But I still had the baggage that comes from being an Adult Child of an Alcoholic and still went to the meetings. It has been over 20 years now and I might go to a meeting once every 3 months. I certainly don't talk about it much outside that and the few times someone with a similar problem pops up on JWD or in my "real life." But that will always be a part of me. I will always have a different perspective on alcoholism in the family and how to deal with it than say someone whose parents never had a drinking problem. I consider my knowledge and experience something valuable that I can share when the situation calls for it.
So too with my WTS/JW experience.
Blondie
Sorry to hear of your troubles Nic. hope they heal soon
