I can't understand how it happens and continues to happen. I guess they get caught in some kind of high pressure treadmill. She had the ingredients to what she thought was a great life, husband with a good job, kids, triplets even, and all in the "truth." Then when it began to unravel I guess she couldn't figure what to do without him. A single mother with one kid has a hard time, one with six? I guess the idea was daunting. No love, lots of kids, sick kids, and the cult. What a combination. She has had to put up with far too much. I wish her well and hope that as she is already on the net that she may find her way out. There are programs that could help her a lot. I also have to say she misread the school situation. Most states have a hot line for child abuse and schools do NOT supress information, or at least none of the ones I have been in contact with do. Information like this would never have been the responsibility of a student teacher, or even a teacher. It would have been turned over to a guidance counselor and dealt with by someone who knew the lay of the land and the ways to help. In Florida, an abused child would have someone there by the end of the school day to go home with them and check the situation out.
Waiting, you too have had to deal with too much. You have done it well and seem to be using it to help others. People like this are fortunate to find advice from those like you who have had the strength to stand up and get out.
By the way, are you sending flowers or anything like that out to Erica? I would like to. I guess I will go back and see if they put up an address. Thank you for a sad but eye opening post.
Spouse & Child Abuse - JW style -experience
by waiting 15 Replies latest watchtower child-abuse
-
Grunt
-
waiting
Howdy Grunt,
No love, lots of kids, sick kids, and the cult
I think that explains a lot. Then for her to try to explain it to herself in terms she could grasp - if he'd only stop viewing pornography on the internet, things would be much better. That was, in her opinion, one of the primary reasons for their problems.
The mother in Texas (?) recently who killed all 5 of her kids is an example of what stress and depression can do (not that I'm excusing her) to a person.
She has had to put up with far too much. I wish her well and hope that as she is already on the net that she may find her way out. There are programs that could help her a lot.
It seems she and the children have doctors and counselors now - hopefully they can help her. Interestingly, she says nothing of any help for her oldest daughter who was molested. Nothing said to her receiving any couseling. I wonder if that's because she's left The Truth - out of sight, out of mind. The infamous jw "closing off."
Most states have a hot line for child abuse and schools do NOT supress information, or at least none of the ones I have been in contact with do. Information like this would never have been the responsibility of a student teacher, or even a teacher. It would have been turned over to a guidance counselor and dealt with by someone who knew the lay of the land and the ways to help. In Florida, an abused child would have someone there by the end of the school day to go home with them and check the situation out.
Thanks, Grunt, for this information. I've never had to deal with this on a school level. She might have accepted what her husband and the immediate people around him said. Like dealing with the local elders and viewing them as the untimate authority. Then, again, she might not be giving an unbiased account of what happened. I was curious about how the school handled it - but I also know that sometimes politics can be much stronger than the law, ethics, etc.
Thanks for you words, Grunt, I appreciate them.
waiting
ps: I'll try and reread those threads about Erica. CommieChris made some good points on what the judge might perceive about the commotion and interruption. I'll read again. If a positive spin (and support for Erica) can be had - then the flowers make good sense, don't you think? I just don't want to influence the Court in a negative way.
-
Grunt
Thank you, Waiting, for a very perceptive post. As a man I think it is easy to overlook a lot of things that I should notice. You, my wife, and a lot of ladies who have worked with me over the years have helped me to understand things I would have always viewed from the wrong slant. I think you are right about the daughter also, my heart aches for all the kids like her. She had to put up with the lousy father, sexual abuse from the same, the lousy marriage, the poverty and grief after the marriage and now probably the loss of her mother and maybe even her siblings. Wow. I hope she is getting help and that she can find a good mate and sustain a happy marriage. She deserves some of the sweet things of life instead of all the sour.
I want very much to send flowers to Erica, after the trial is fine. I just want her to know that there are people out there who care, who are sorry for what she has been through and who respect what she has done. I would really like to send them to the two other girls whose testimony was not accepted. I am told (by my wife :) that the age of the victims has a lot to do with the time limitations. She said she thinks if perpetrated on a child under 11, there is no time limit for prosecution, for older girls there is. Doesn't seem fair, does it? A teenager is a child too. I hope the pervert gets life. If not he will just hurt other children. I hope the other "elder" that abused her is prosecuted also somehow. I would wager that there are more victims out there for both of these guys. If you get an address, I would appreciate it. I thought about just sending it to the prosecuting attorney, I have his phone number and could call and ask if he could get them to Erica. A comrade in the seige of the Tower, -
Mommie Dark
I just wanted to interject an observation here: this woman has run up against academia and been treated to some school district 'good ole boyism'. Although schools pay good lip service to 'being there' for kids reporting abuse, there is a time-honored tradition of CYA among their own. Her experience is not unique.
In Akron OH last year there was a case where a guidance counselor was seducing teen boys and actively stalking at least one of them; when two boys complained, they were both promptly expelled from school for trying to damage the man's reputation! I know the parents of one of these young men; the frustration was incredible, it ravaged their family. A bright talented young man ended up dropping out of school literally weeks before his graduation. The pervert was only brought to justice when it was revealed that he had been accused of fondling a grade-school child 20 years earlier in the same school district; the district's response was to transfer both teacher and student to different schools! When this bit of information came to light, the school was forced to investigate the perv, and suspended him pending the legal proceedings. Once the investigation brought the stalking and phone harrassment to light, he was nailed. Lawsuits against the district are still pending. It took a tremendous amount of negative publicity for the district to even admit there MIGHT be a problem with their procedures, even though there was a past history of cover-up.
I have no trouble believing that if her ex is relied on for critical service, the district wouldn't hesitate to try to strongarm this woman into shutting up. Especially if she's ever had adversarial encounters in the school related to her Jdubdom (and if she's been homeschooling there may be some contempt directed over that too).
***I once knew a Jdub whose ex had incested their daughter. She told me "I knew something was wrong when he quit wanting to have sex with me. Well, he had him another woman." She meant her ten-year-old daughter! I was horrified, and said so. I told her that wasn't another woman seducing him, it was the innocent victim of a horrible crime! THIS WAS A REVELATION TO THE SMEGGING COW! I can't tell you how outraged I was by her attitude. She had expressed this idiot notion in talking to elders and NOT ONE PERSON EVER DISABUSED HER OF THINKING OF HER DAUGHTER AS A RIVAL!!!!!
I don't know if it's dubdom that makes these women clueless, or if clueless people just naturally gravitate to high control groups. I do know that given the ignorance and denial of this woman, her kids don't have much in the way of chances. I sincerely hope she finds better counsel than what she'll get from Watchtower drones.
-
Billygoat
MD - How sad for that little girl. I just don't understand the thinking process for her mother though. All I can say is "sick, sick, sick!"
Andi
-
waiting
Did anyone catch "Family Law" Tuesday night?
In it, one of the female lawyers is defending a woman who has been beaten repeatedly by her husband. She has two kids.
The story most likely isn't based in reality - but the view of an abused woman seems to be. Statistics were bantered around as to approx. how many times a woman will go back to any abusive husband before actually being able to break free - if she/he ever does. Approximately 8 times.
It also had some information on the children raised in 1st, 2nd, 3rd generation physical abusive homes. Most will marry into same types of families - to abuse and/or become victims again.
It's called a "syndrome" now. We've got another nametag for our sleeves.
waiting