Hormone Hostage

by BrendaCloutier 4 Replies latest social humour

• 

  BrendaCloutier

  Ok, men and women alike have (almost) all experienced the following:

  The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a
  man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands!
  This is a handy
  guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of
  every
  husband,
  boyfriend, or significant other!
  
  
  DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
  SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
  SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
  ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate
  
  
  DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
  SAFER: Wow, you look good in brown.
  SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
  ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate
  
  
  DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
  SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
  SAFEST: Here's my paycheck.
  ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate
  
  
  DANGEROUS : Should you be eating that?
  SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
  SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
  ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate
  
  
  DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
  SAFER: I hope you didn't over-do it today
  SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
  ULTRA SAFE: Have some more chocolate.
  
  Pass this on to all of your hormonal friends and those who might Need a
  good Laugh.
• 

  prophecor

  Are you talkin to me? Are you TALkin To ME !!! HUH. ? What are you sayin' then ? You Want a Piece OF ME!!!
• 

  prophecor

  Oh pardon me, I thought you were that Willy Wonka person.

  My fault. Go Back to what you were doing.
• 

  daystar

  I know you meant this to be funny. But I'll admit it made me sad and even a bit mad. We men tend to be the butt-end of so many jokes nowdays. They so often tend to make men out to be stupid, uncaring and brutish. This one sort of gives women a get out of jail free card when their hormones are out of balance. They should be pampered, excused and treated. But men, if we have an off period, we are most often just labelled stupid, loutish a**holes.

  We don't have a problem with a TV commercial with a husband rushing around like an cartoon idiot at 11:50p on Feb. 13 looking for a bouquet and a card, but god forbid we should show a woman get into a car crash because she was doing her makeup or chit-chatting on her phone in the car... Wah-wah-waaahhhhh...

  (Or I recall the day I saw a woman reading a book in the car, on the highway!)

  I'm sorry dear. Perhaps I'm having an off day today. Wanna bring me some chocolate?

  (I'll try to find my funny bone around here somewhere. It seems to be misplaced.)
• 

  prophecor

  Boyyyyyyyyy, somebody's got thier knots up in a short, eh?

  jk

  Thanks for including men in those catagories of having those Whoremonal Expulsions

  I'll take a 50 pound bag of Hershey's Kisses, right about now